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H.O.N.E.Y

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Blog Entries posted by H.O.N.E.Y

  1. H.O.N.E.Y
    It's just 3 movies this time, 2 of which got a lot of votes in the past 2 polls and a new movie.
     
     
     
     
    Session #3 is TODAY SATURDAY 8:30 PM EST
    Check the Countdown timer
     
     
     
    VOTE FOR 2 MOVIES OUT OF THE 3
    vote here
     
     
     
     
     
    1. Girls Trip (2017) | Submitted by @H.O.N.E.Y 
     
     
     
    2.  Tomb Raider (2018)| Submitted by @P.E.T.E.R.
     
     
     
     
     
    3. The Space Between Us (2017) | Submitted by @Anna-wa
     
     
     
     
     
     
    More info: This is also a #DisneyNight session so we will be watching a Disney film too.
     
     
     
     
  2. H.O.N.E.Y
    Official Members:
    1. @H.O.N.E.Y (host)
    2. @Anna-wa (host)
    3. @Vulnicura.
    4. @Music Meister
    5. @Not A Sugar Daddy
    6. @Princess Aurora
    7. @Entea
    8.  @Regina Phalange
    9. @Chris Morlock
    10. @CalixSpurius
    11. @frankgutz
    12. @Holly
     
     
  3. H.O.N.E.Y
    Welcome lovelies to the our 2nd session of our amazing extravaganza #FOTPMOVIECLUB hosted by Queen @Anna-wa and myself. 
     
    Hopefully you enjoyed our last session where we watched Love, Simon. Hopefully this time everyone can be able to show up.  
     
     
     
    Promo:

     
     
     
     
    First a rundown of the reviews on Love, Simon:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Before voting make sure u watch trailers of movies you're not familiar with:
     
     
     
    Love Beats Rhymes (2017) | Submitted by @The Plague
     
     
     
     
     
    The Space Between Us (2017) | Submitted by @Anna-wa
     
     
     
     
     
     
    J'ai Tué Ma Mère / I Killed My Mother (2009) | Submitted by @CalixSpurius
     
     
     
     
     
     
    The Proposal (2009) | Submitted by @Princess Aurora
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Baby Driver (2017) | Submitted by @Music Meister
     
     
     
     
     
     
    La La Land (2016) | Submitted by @Princess Aurora
     
     
     
     
     
    The 5th Wave (2016) | Submitted by @Music Meister
     
     
     
     
     
     
    The Shape of Water (2017) | Submitted by @Regina Phalange
     
     
     
     
     
    The Others (2001) | Submitted by @Regina Phalange
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Tomb Raider (2018) | Submitted by @Music Meister
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Pulp Fiction (1994) | Submitted by @H.O.N.E.Y
     
     
     
    Vote for a minimum of 6 movies out of the 11 available:
    Vote Here
     
     
     
     So what we're gonna do for session 02 is have two groups. 
     
    Group A will be on Tuesday at 6 PM EST on the 26th.  
    Countdown for Group A
     
     
    Group B will be on Saturday on the 30th at 6 PM EST.  
    Countdown for Group B
     
     
    Everyone better show up.  
     
     
     
     
  4. H.O.N.E.Y
    Countdown for Session 01
    Saturday 8:30 P.M. EST (16/06/2018)
     
     
    So welcome everyone to #FOTPMOVIECLUB it's a place where we can all get together outside of FOTP, do something other than drag our favs,
    choose a movie, enjoy watching that movie, and come back to FOTP and discuss our thoughts on the movie.   
     
     
    Hosted by: Me (@H.O.N.E.Y) and @Anna-wa 
     
     

     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    You can be an official member OR you can sign up to be a guest for this week only. Just tell us below.  
    Also mention a movie or 2 that you'd like to watch with the group, could be something you haven't seen in a while or something u always wanted to see.
     
     
    Official Members:
    1. @H.O.N.E.Y (host)
    2. @Anna-wa (host)
    3. @Regina Phalange
    4. @Music Meister
    5. @Chris Morlock
    6. @Princess Aurora
    7.                            
     
    Guests:
    1. @Vulnicura.
    2.                          
    3.                          
     
     
    My suggestions of movies we could choose from:
     
     
     
     
    Once you all mention your movie picks I'll make a poll and we'll watch the movie with the most votes.  
     
    Plz join or be a guest. It'll be fun.  
     
     
  5. H.O.N.E.Y
    This thread is for choosing our first movie and also for discussing our thoughts and giving full reviews AFTER watching the movie.
     
     
     
    Ok so each week there will be an official session (with @Anna-wa) for all movie genres except horror. 
     
    We will have an additional session for horror flicks sometime each month without Anna.  
     
     
     
     
     
    Before voting in the poll, watch trailers for any movie you're not familiar with:
     
     
    The Shape of Water (2018) [Submitted by @Regina Phalange]
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Love, Simon (2018) [Submitted by @Music Meister & @Chris Morlock]
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Cold Mountain (2003) [Submitted by @H.O.N.E.Y]
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    God's Own Country (2017) [Submitted by @Entea]
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Tomb Raider (2018) [Submitted by @Music Meister]
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    The Proposal (2009) [Submitted by @Princess Aurora]
     
     
     
     
    Now you can vote.
    Please for for multiple movies. Basically vote for any movie on the list you're open to watching this week (vote for 3 movies minimum)
    Vote here
     
     
     
     
     
  6. H.O.N.E.Y
    I know many of u don't care to know or forgot about this already but I still want to do it to close the chapter on a high note with an explanation on why things went the way they went.
     
    I'm not blaming anyone for anything. I can say I blame myself for biting off more than I can chew and for blowing up when I did. The timing also wasn't right, the FOTP drama was on its highest and my personal life at work was getting worse and worse until I left work in November.
     
     
    I'd like to thank the players of Reincarnation for playing & apologize to each one of them for how the game fizzled out:
    @Jae @PhCh @Jony @Kirjava @Entea @Honey @SANDCASTLES @SWIN3 @Pageant Material @Nocturn @frankgutz
     
    I'd like to apologize to the new players also:
    @Perfect Intrusion @delete it fat @The Emancipation of Momo @Coca-Cola
     
     
    I'll keep it as short as I can, but I'm going to be candid. So The first week when the game started was without a doubt MY FAV WEEK ON FOTP. That was when everything was going great and everyone was still interested in the game. I loved the game and the story. This game allowed me to be creative and get in touch with one of my fav hobbies which is story-telling. Obviously things took a huge turn when I blew up and the way I did it. I still feel bad about that day and wish it never happened, but that's life I guess... who doesn't have regrets? 
     
    The main reasons I brought back the game after that and got courage and momentum to do so is because of @QUINN @frankgutz @Hannah. and I thank them for that. So when I brought back the game, things were not going how they were on the first week. Players were not as invested in the game. I'm the type of person that feeds off on energy, if I feel people are enthusiastic about my project I feel the same. With time I stopped being interested in producing this game but continued anyway. Then some drama happened with a player in PM and I just was over the game. I put in on hold and focused on creating and releasing the first issue of Pop Addiction Magazine with @Nocturn, @GLORY, @Entea, and @Princess Aurora. After it I decided to return and give a final week where the conclusion to the story happens and the winner would be crowned, but due to many players being busy in their personal lives, and I don't blame them cos they only signed up to play 3 weeks, but due to that and especially some players that were more enthusiastic like @frankgutz among others and the lack of interaction, I just had no more motivation to keep going. My main goal with the game was to entertain FOTPers and make FOTP a fun place and that goal was no longer being met so I felt that there's no point in continuing this.
     
    The game was too much effort to make, it took me days to prepare one update and interact with the players via pm and thread, and I simply couldn't do it without any enthusiasm and motivation. There are also many other reasons I won't divulge into publicly cos my intent is not to stir up any drama, but to those people they will be informed via pm if there is something concerning them in particular.
     
    Other stuff I prepared for the game before I decided to cancel it:
    Songs I produced and sung by people online, the songs were going to be used in the storyline and as a soundtrack (which was gonna be put together), one song was written by @Perfect Intrusion and me and I had another girl sing it and it was gonna be a song for a character that was an up and coming singer.  I was planning a crossover between Reincarnation and #PopIndustry. I apologize to @CHANEL #1 that it never took off and we couldn't get it done, but there were many reasons why that in particular couldn't happen along with the lack of motivation and timing issues. I was and still am writing a novel version of the story of Reincarnation, I was planning on having it being a side thing for players to read and get more detail on everything. I'm planning on maybe sharing parts of it and then in the future I might release it as a novel as a whole thing.  
     
    Hopefully none of this deterred you all from joining any future games of mine, I hope none of u left the game with a sour taste in their mouth, I promise in any future project of mine I'll think hard about the execution of my ideas and choosing more wisely on how I'm going to execute them within the time frame I set in the start, either that or making simple projects that won't be time consuming to prepare and present.
     
     
    I just want to thank these people for supporting my game when it was on:
    @Hannah. @Hyun. @Royalty @Max  @blankdreams. @Anna-wa @Princess Aurora
     
     
    About the future:
    I don't know what will happen in the future. I've decided to start posting chapters from the Reincarnation novel for now. If there is a Re-Reincarnation season, who knows, but it'll be next fall, if ever. 
     
    Special Thanks:
    Thank you @Onika for your support from the start and thanks for removing the section cos seeing the section week after week when I just couldn't give more to the game was very hard and made me feel like I've disappointed the players. Thank you @blankdreams. for encouraging me to do this game and for starting it off with me. Thank you @frankgutz for stepping up to the plate when I needed you. Thanks to the players that talked me down from a ledge when I needed it.
     
     
    Sorry if I disappointed anyone. I wish u all the best both in FOTP and irl. <3
  7. H.O.N.E.Y
    Stalkers and Exes
     
    28th, Jan, 2017
     
     
     
               For the past few days I’ve been in bed shivering with a fever, but not high enough to visit the doctor. Still broke and lacking insurance, I waited it out to see if I might get better again. I was sick literally 4 days ago, got better, then got sick again due to my power going out. My neighbor accidentally shut off my power, as our joint power box is located in his apartment, before going away for a day while he was fixing an issue in his power. So I had to stay in a freezing dark room for a few days. Lucky I found a power source to keep the much needed appliances like my phone on, but everything else was shut off. The fresh food in my fridge that I bought a few days earlier all went to waste. Moments like these are when I remember the importance of family. I tell myself “It’s ok” and “I’ll get over it” and pick myself up from the hole that dug myself into and try to keep moving. My landlord calls to remind me about the rent while I lay on my bed in the darkness and I assure him that it’s coming as soon as I can renew my ID in order to be able to cash the cheque that I have from my old job. Uncertainty and the fear of tomorrow are like major themes in my life and this period can be summed up to be just that. I waited for when my neighbor got home to ask him if he knew what happened with power, which he then told me that he was testing something the day before and must have accidentally shut off my power. I was relieved that my power was coming back on, but being sick with no medication and forced to sleep in the cold is a rough patch.
             I started working on a few projects yesterday and they usually help me get out of whatever depressing mood I’m in. Music has always been a way to express myself whether it be me writing and producing kids songs for my sisters to sing for family events and record or my writing songs for other singers online or my many failed ventures into being a solo artist. It certainly helped me recently to not take it too seriously and just do it for fun. I received a phone call from my boyfriend and we agreed to meet at night to hang out. His voice during the call didn’t put me much at ease and I felt it wasn’t going to be a regular meeting. I took a shower and started thinking about my current struggles and if I’ll be able to pay rent in time. I started to remember an incident from three years ago, where I was trying to move from my old apartment to the current one. I remembered how many of the people I called to help me move because I couldn’t do it while broke and didn’t have a car at the time and none would bother to. What makes a friend if it isn’t for the times they help you when you need help? Then I remembered that most of the people in my life are not real friends, but more-so casual relationships. It seems like I was planting a seed in the wrong place and expecting it to grow. I recall now and remember that feeling. I’m alone in this… I’m always alone in it.
             These feelings take me back to that time where I was in the backseat of the cops’ car thinking to myself who will even bail me out of this? The answer was of course no one. So I dry myself off and get dressed and ready. I drive to my boyfriend’s house and let him in the car. He starts to speak and I tell him “Stop, we’ll talk when we get to the park.” He looked at me with confusion and then said “Fine.” I sensed that the conversation would get deeper and wanted to be in a place more fitting for it. When we finally reached the park we started to talk about the week. I told him my struggle with my power being shut off, he shared his issues at work. Then midway through the conversation, he tells me that he’s going back to his home country and getting ready for his engagement party that his family are setting up for him. I can’t lie, this isn’t my first trip to the ghetto, I’ve seen this before and I’ve been through it. I looked him dead in the eyes. “How long have you known that you’re leaving to get married?” I said. “Since October” he replied. It wasn’t the shock that a 26 year old traditional male in a conservative country was getting set up in an arranged marriage and is in the closet, all of that is expected in my life, the thing was that he kept it a secret. Life has been very deceitful to me as is, why would I need a man to hide things from me and add fuel to the fire? I certainly don’t need a man, so why would I in my right mind allow someone to do that? I wouldn’t. “I didn’t want to hurt your feelings” he said. “It actually didn’t hurt as much as you’d think it would’ve. I’m just disappointed that I thought it would go smoother. You could've been honest.” I said back. Him and I were never exclusive, I’ve retired the helpless romantic in me a long time ago, so nothing hurt as much as it would’ve back in 2009 when I was green to the dating scene and way more vulnerable for cuts and heartaches. Still, it’s sad that my pessimistic thoughts always came to life. I almost hate being right all the time, but then I remember how horrible life was being when my judgment was highly more questionable and I was prone to more issues due to me not paying attention. The only way I could protect myself was this way, by covering all bases and assuming that every relationship is fallible.
             “Is she pretty?” I asked him. “Yeah” he replied. His mother has been pushing him to get married for years and seems to be anxious to see her grandchildren as soon as possible, yet he was pushing the idea off for a few years. It seems like now is the time to cave in and follow his family’s wishes. “I will talk to you. We can stay in contact. I might come back in the futu..” and then I cut him off with “No, just forget about me. It was a cute relationship while it lasted. We obviously knew it wasn’t going to continue for long. I just wished if you had told me in November or December at least. I wish you were as open with me as I was with you, that’s all.” He was tall, dark, and skinny….. and now he was my ex. He can now join my long list of exes, while I become nothing than a mere distant memory to him.
                I drove him home afterwards and left. It wasn’t sadness overcoming me as much as it was disappointment, but at the same time it was “Ok let’s move on to the next”. I was always jumping around from one relationship to the next, and as unhealthy as that sounded I couldn’t help being a softy for love. Often people ask me how I move on after breakups and the secret for me was to never fully love in the first place. I see it as love having multiple degrees, devoted relationships being the highest form of love and friends with benefits being the lowest form of a romantic relationship. In the middle you have open relationships which acknowledge the love side of the relationship but also represent sexual freedom. That type is easier for me to handle because it never hurt me as much during a breakup as a closed relationship did. I deleted his pictures from my phone as I have no need for them or him anymore. I don’t plan on engaging with him afterwards because at this point in my life I feel like if there’s one thing I should know for sure how to do by now it has to be learning who I want and who I don’t want in my life, and someone that is getting married after hiding it from me for 3 months is surely not a person that fits my life. I’ve had many affairs with married men in my younger years, and it’s not so much as personal stance against the action of sleeping with taken men, but more-so a realization that I don’t need to be bothering myself with taken men when there are perfectly fine single men out there. I have surely been tricked in the past with men claiming to be single when they weren’t. At the end of the day I feel that all roads lead to Rome, and all relationships whether they’re open, closed, with a single man, or with a married man, more than likely will end sooner than both parties think.
                I found myself today lying on the floor thinking about the barbecue dinner that I was planning for myself and my ex. I was excited to go out after a year of not going on a barbecuing trip. I even wanted to try camping this year and was thinking of doing it with him. I then opened my drawer and took out my little gift that I bought for him. I decided to gift it to myself instead of throwing it out, I really hate wasting things. It’s always the thought that counts and I my intentions were pure in this relationship and I can rest in saying that to myself. He certainly wasn’t the best I’ve been with, but I’m sure I gave him the best he’s ever had. It also helps when I can actually recall him saying those words previous to remind myself of how it actually was.
                 I log in to my preferred dating app to search for something to feed my craving and to hang out with. I find a younger guy that’s more athletic than the guys I normally go for. My gut instinct was like “leave it alone” but I talked to him anyways. We talked for hours and agreed that he’d come to my place. We talked on the phone beforehand and then he knocked on my door. When he came in I immediately got flashbacks to previous douchebags in my early dating life that caused me so much trauma and pain. My senses were telling me something wasn’t right. As soon as we sat down to talk, I blurted out “You strike me as a troublemaker”. He looked at me like I was crazy, so I just asked him if he was on something and what was he on. After a few minutes of probing, he told me that he was indeed high. I didn’t like his answers and his whole vibe so I told him that I’m uncomfortable and that maybe we’re not a good match. I got up and showed him the door and told him that I wish he finds someone that’s into that type of lifestyle. He actually wanted to pay me money to stay while I refused, while broke as a church mouse, not that I wouldn’t ever take money for services but that this person needed to go in any way possible. I told him goodbye at the door and shut it and went back to my room. He texted me a few times after and I didn’t reply. I soon talked to a bunch of other guys and forgot about the whole incident. Hours later, I heard a hard banging on the door and I knew it was him. I immediately checked my phone and realized that I had received 39 missed calls, 4 texts, a sling of Whatsapp messages, and another sling of messages on the dating app…. ALL FROM HIM!
              I didn’t know if he was knocking by himself or has his gang with him, but he certainly didn’t take no for an answer. I was gearing up to call the cops, something I certainly have done multiple times in my previous apartment, but was waiting to see if the knocking was going to stop. After 10 long minutes, the knocking stopped. I was relieved that the cops didn’t have to get involved. I checked my phone and he said in the last text that he has more money for me if I open the door, which was not only creepy but not that much believable as his clothes were a mess and I doubt he even had the money to begin with. I certainly attract crazy as this is not the first stalker I’ve had nor is it the first unstable person I’ve been with. I’m 100% sure that the only reason he didn’t come back a second time is because he kept asking if I lived alone or with someone and didn’t quite believe my answers and that I live solo. Either way I’m happy at least this time it ended before it got worse.
     
     
  8. H.O.N.E.Y
    When I Saw Her Dead….
     
    Feb 5th, 2017
     
     
              I woke today up to see a bunch of harassing texts from that woman that shall not be named. She always thrived on riling people up especially now that her daughter was getting engaged and the brother, me, not showing up would humiliate the family, so the harassing would obviously intensify under such circumstances, understandably.  I deleted the texts and went to wash up. I left to get something to eat, as I’m too lazy to cook today. On my way out and right outside my ghetto building I find her lying on the ground. It was the small stray kitten that I’ve been feeding for months outside my building. She was peacefully laying and as I got closer I realized that something wasn’t right and that she wasn’t responding to the noises I made to call her. She was dead.
     
     
     
           I looked at what was next to her was a bit of food that I didn’t give her. Now not knowing anyone in the building, I’d take it as the neighbors being nice and feeding her like I was, but because I know what some of my neighbors were like, I’m very doubtful of this. Actually, I wouldn’t put it past them if they actually poisoned her! One of my neighbors always despised the cats that I fed near the building and would kick the cats not knowing that I see him doing it right after I enter the building. One time I even suspected him of stealing the bag of cat food that I bought to feed the stray cats in our neighborhood. I used to put it in a cupboard that is hardly ever used which is in the entrance of our building and there was a key for each drawer. One time the “suspect” saw me stacking the cat food in that cupboard. A day later I find the cat food not only missing but the keys all missing. I knew it was him but in an attempt to not start drama in my building I said nothing and only kept giving him dirty looks when he passed me by. The fact that he kicked this orange ball of innocent fur is all I need to know that he didn’t like her and hated the fact that I fed cats near the building. I never see any of the neighbors put food outside for cats, so seeing the food that she died next to is highly questionable. I examined her body a bit and she didn’t look she was hit by any car or had any injury, the only reasonable thing I can think of is that she was fed something that harmed her and caused her to die. It’s sad if this is the case, how humans can be so despicable.
             I took note that the other male stray cat that I’m feeding comes near the building at night. I decided to relocate him to a park that is fifteen minutes away from me. I thought that park would be best because it has so many stray cats living near it that come at night and get fed by families that visit the park. I took the cat in my car and he hated the drive but I knew that it had to be done so he could not be harmed by anyone. I pet him during the whole drive to calm him down while one hand was on the steering wheel. Once I released him in the park he was first scared of the new environment, but soon after he started rolling in the grass like he discovered it for the first time. I left him knowing we probably won’t be crossing paths anytime soon. This ordeal reminded me of my past history with my five cats and four baby kittens that I eventually had to give up a few years ago and how hard it was both financially to take care of them after I was completely broke for four months after graduating college due to my mom cutting me off before I found a job, while knowing about me having the cats and the baby kittens. In my area, adopting animals is the hardest and adopting agencies don’t accept stray cats, so they’re bound to suffer. In a way they don’t know what a home life is and don’t know what they’re missing, which is good because they don’t feel lost or yearning for an owner as if a house cat that got out would, but on the other hand they’re more likely to die from being hit by a car or getting kidney failure due to constant dehydration like another stray cat I once encountered and the vet couldn’t help her case.   In terms of my heartless neighbors, there’s nothing I can do in a place that barely has any regard for animal lives and the laws reflect that sentiment….
     
     
     
     
  9. H.O.N.E.Y
    Broke & Sick
     
    14, Jan, 2017
     
     
          I woke up sicker than yesterday. Headache, fever, sore throat, sweating… well the sweating was intentional; actually it’s more of a substitute for medicine at times. There were times I was completely broke and couldn’t get anything to heal my aching body, let alone get a doctor’s appointment, so dressing up with multi-layers of clothes, a jacket, socks, and a beanie to get as much sweat out from my weak body to attempt to get my temperature down seemed like the best medicine available. I called my boyfriend with a barely-existing voice letting him know my condition. He then told me that he wasn’t far from my apartment with his work, a flexible job with multiple locations and clients, and told me that he’s stopping by to see if I needed something. I told him “fine” and waited for him in my little faux fur coat while I caught up with the latest episode of Celebrity Big Brother.
          I often thought about dark thoughts in the last couple days, which are always right under the surface but love to pop out like pimples whenever I’m suffering from an illness. It’s easy for me to go back to that place of fear of tomorrow. The thing that I dread most when I’m sick is facing or dealing with myself. I judge myself and my actions 20 times over and the mere thought of death or the afterlife makes me curl up and breakdown in tears. It’s so easy when I’m sick and alone in a room with nobody to check on me, and at times I couldn’t even get up to go to the hospital. This time it was less dramatic, it’s less of an illness but who knows? It could be the calm before the storm.
           My boyfriend knocks and I open the door in my little jacket. He checks up on me a bit then he tells me about his fist fight from the previous night. I was like “No, you didn’t punch a guy!” Sadly the guy deserved it and I had previously warned him about what some clients will end up doing to get out of paying you for a job on their house and that he should get the money upfront. Obviously nobody listened to me, and when does anyone ever listen to me? Apparently he knocked out that client’s front tooth out! The strange part that didn’t make any sense is that the clients’ older brother came in on them and said that his brother deserved the punches and that he should’ve paid the work’s worth like any normal law abiding person would, but I guess that’s what happens when you don’t make official contracts and live in a place that doesn’t respect the law for the most part. I was looking at his hand and saw a clear bump on his right wrist and to which he told me that’s the part that hit the guy’s tooth.  He asked me if I went to the doctor, and I told him that I need to feel it out more to see if it’s going to continue and if more symptoms will show up. He said that he’ll give me a back massage, and boy did I need one because my back felt sore as hell.
          I lied on my mattress, which I’ve laid on the floor today to get closer to the electric heater, with my orange jacket. He caressed my back before massaging it. He showed me sketches relating to his work and I asked about them while he cracked my aching back. I asked him to then stand on my back because it felt like that was the only way I could properly crack it. He then started to softly touch my back and neck, he knows exactly how I like it done, while I thought about my situation. I barely have food left in the fridge/cupboard and my car needs an oil change. The last thing I’d want to happen is for my engine to die out due to no oil being there like last year, a mega mess, so the oil thing was weighing heavily on my mind. My boyfriend knew my struggles in general but not the specific recent ones. He asked and I was honest, and he gave me money to see the doctor – which I didn’t do yet – and attempted to clean the garbage dump that I call my room, to which I objected to. “I’ll do it when I’m better” I said. “No you won’t” he replied. “I know.” I said back. It is what it is, I’m just a broke sick pig with a back ache and a sore throat so I might as well just own up to it. Plus who has time to clean, we can do that when we’re dead….. or not I guess!
          The touching and caressing went downwards as I lied on my stomach and his hand went to my rear. He touched it softly and it calmed me a bit and for a moment I forgot I was ill. I kept turning my face away from him, I never want to be looked at when I’m sick especially that I’m self-conscious and insecure in general, can you imagine me having to be seen at while sick?! That was another thing, in previous relationships I hardly ever let my boyfriends, or anyone for that matter, see me sick. My co-workers get a pass because I’m usually forced to work while being sick, and at a certain time I was sick for three weeks and didn’t miss a day of work. His hand started grabbing my junk from beneath and I realized that he was in the mood, but didn’t want to make me feel like I have to do anything, because I was sick. So he kept rubbing it and sending chills down my spine, and then touched my butthole softy. I then grabbed his dick and he knew that I was up for it. So he lied on top of me and stuck it inside and it was nice and warm. He hugged me when he was done and we stayed there for a bit before he got up to leave. I told him to learn from his experience with that client and to never trust them in the future, to which I’m sure he won’t remember to do.
            I sat for the rest of the time looking at texts from some unwanted family members doing the most as usual. I started thinking of the past, the good times, and I hate when that damn montage appears in my head, cos it’s when I start comparing the past with the present. I started thinking of a certain time when my family and I were going to Disney Land for the first time and life was much simpler. My mother had her long black Pocahontas hair while my chubby dad took pictures of everything and everyone in sight, way long before smartphones and before it became cool, your typical tourists. My mom kept so many albums of those pictures that we used to look at from time to time, which cemented the idea that yes, that was a magical time and it’s over now. I often think about whether or not it’s easier for people who feel somewhat depressed to have known happiness early on in their life or if not experiencing happiness ever is easier for them because they don’t have anything to compare their present with. Maybe I’ll learn the answer to that in time…
  10. H.O.N.E.Y
    I'm happy everyone was able to do the previous survey, a whopping 69 people so far particpated from in and out of FOTP.
     
    This survey is different. This is specific about the election results and Trump winning.
    Please take the survey it's quick but important.
     
    http://svy.mk/2fFkGtv
     
     
    Results will be presented in a project very soon.
     
     
     
  11. H.O.N.E.Y
    Please take this quick survey about pop related stuff, it takes less than a minute to answer. 
     
    http://svy.mk/2fA0Otd
     
     
     
    The results will be presented in a project. 
     
     
     
     
  12. H.O.N.E.Y
    *This blog is meant for Reincarnation Game players only*
     

     
     
     
     
    After a long grueling show, the clowns head back to their tent. 
     
    Some are relaxing, some are grumpy, some are removing makeup, some are applying more makeup for bed.
     
     
     

  13. H.O.N.E.Y
    7 Reasons Why U Should Play
    R E I N C A R N A T I O N!
     

    REINCARNATION is a new suspense/horror game that will start on Thursday produced by @H.O.N.E.Y and presented by @blankdreams.. 
     
    We have complied for you 7 reasons why we think you should sign up to play this game! 
     
     
     
     
     
    #1 It's October! 

     
    What better time to play a horror game than during this haunting month?  
    Hint: Halloween will be ruthless this year!  
    Hint: One of those pumpkin heads is not made of pumpkin!  
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    #2 It's Unique! 
     

     
    It's a game that blends reality with fantasy and fuses between horror, drama, and action ft. steamy scenes and things you'd wish you'd UNSEE! 
     
    It's set in a future time where things are more disturbed than ever, yet so relevant to the crazies of current times! It's absurd yet still eye-opening and jarring!! 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    #3 It's New.mp3 !

     
    It's never been done before. This is so experimental players will feel like lab rats! This is so untried and untested it could be considered an experiment.  
    This game is so new, it's still in the box! Never has there been a game with this much control given to the player and this much deep detail in such a fucked up fantasy.m4a 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    #4 If Just for the Adrenaline Rush! 

    This game will keep its players on their toes. Any choice could end up your LAST ONE! Imagine if life was always that tense?!
    Well in this game you'll feel trapped in a box all while hanging by a rope over a canyon while being chased by your own shadow.. that's how intense it could get! 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    #5 It's an Alternate Universe!!!


    For whatever amount of time that this game will be ongoing, you have the chance to live as not 1 but 3 different other individuals and see what their lives are like.  
    You could experience things you'd never experience in real life. You could even go on a free cruise right before someone tries to kill you or turn you in!  
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    #6 Get Away with Bitchslapping A Bitch! 

    You can make actions that have consequences in the game, but not on your own life, therefore you can do things in the game that you wouldn't dare do in real life! 
    Be creative! Be imaginative! Be so unlike you! Be a bitch! 
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    #7 You Could Win Something!

     
    The winner gets a one one month custom VIP package!!!!  
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Before signing up check the rules. The official sign up thread:
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
  14. H.O.N.E.Y
    This blog, like I've mentioned before, is about all kinds of love and breakup advice which includes friendships and family.
    but for a few editions I want to focus on the most important type of love..... SELF LOVE. These will all be under the theme of #LoveMyself. 
     
     
    Please read, be open to sharing, asking, conversing, even if you feel like you have a healthy relationship with yourself.  
    You might enlighten others with knowledge that is not mentioned, or pick up a few tips to use on yourself.
     
     
    Dr. H.O.N.E.Y at your service.  I'm just like you, no better, no worse, just sharing what little I do know in hopes someone will benefit.
     
     
     
     
    Blog Entry #2: Do I #LoveMyself Enough to Change?

     
     
     
     
    We received this question in the mail, and we almost overlooked it but we managed to grab a hold of this very important question:  
     
     
     hmmm....  A tricky one.
     
     
    First, I won't say that I follow what I preach, nor that I have achieved every goal that I've set out to achieve.  
     
     
     
    Whether it's losing weight, quitting smoking, learning French, eating healthier/going green, waking up early, being more active, etc..
    The first step is to acknowledge to yourself WHY you want to achieve this goal in the first place? The important questions you should ask yourself now:
     
    #1 Is it in fact YOUR GOAL? Or is it a goal enforced/encouraged by others in your family/circle? 
     
    #2 Do you even care to PUT IN THE WORK in order to achieve it or would achieving it not matter either way? 
     
    #3 Will it have a positive influence on you/your self esteem? Are you doing it for the right reasons? 
     
    #4 Are there side effects that could result from you attempting to achieve this goal? If so, are you prepared to face them? 
     
    #5 Are you willing to continue on this path or do you think it's just a "phase" and then you'll be back to basics? Be HONEST with yourself! 
     
     
     
     
     
     
    I will discuss each one of those questions in a bit. But first I want you to close your eyes for 20 seconds and think about that goal of yours then come back to this. 
     
     
     
     
     
    So my experience with this topic hasn't been very successful. Throughout my life I hated many stuff about myself, and wanted to change/achieve stuff. Let's just say that for the main part I have yet to change many stuff that I told myself that I would. However, a few times I have worked hard on changing my bad ways and/or learning to do something that I hated/was scared of, and ended up changing for the better. Sometimes even for the WRONG REASONS. 
     
     
     
     
    One instance was when I was a bit heavier during my late teen years. I fell in love with someone that I've been talking to for months in a long distance relationship. I decided that I wanted to lose weight, so by the time me and him met, I'd be snatched and ready to have him be slayed by my beauty.   I had a morning workout routine, then in the afternoon I'd burn fat by dancing to whichever song was on the radio/tv.   I achieved my goal and lost 20 Kilos/44 Pounds in 1 month!  It was a huge achievement, but obviously done for ALL the wrong reasons. I don't advise ANYONE to follow that method or that reasoning for weight loss. 
     
     
     
     
     
    A major cause for people to self-sabotage when they're doing so good at a new project or a goal is because of loss of #SelfLove. It's not necessarily the case for everyone that self-sabotages, some just don't care about that goal and are just trying to convince themselves that they do. That's why in future entries in the #LoveMyself series I will give tools how how we can all love ourselves to be able to achieve goals and love other people in a healthy manner. 
     
     
     
    Now back to the important questions:
     
     
     
    #1 Is it in fact YOUR GOAL? Or is it a goal enforced/encouraged by others in your family/circle? 
    A main reason why many people trying to lose weight/cut smoking/get off drugs,etc don't succeed is because it never was their goal  to begin with. Obviously, if achieving something is not your idea, you're less likely to put in the work to achieve it. Listen to your gut instinct. You will know who is the force driving the idea behind this "change". 
     
     
    #2 Do you even care to PUT IN THE WORK in order to achieve it or would achieving it not matter either way? 
    If you are not willing to put in the work, then why even make that deceleration to yourself? If it is too much work, then why did you make an agreement with yourself that you'd achieve it? It's like asking for a job and the minute that you're hired you sleep at home and miss work and expect your salary at the end of the month and then complain when your account balance is $0.00  
     
     
    #3 Will it have a positive influence on you/your self esteem? Are you doing it for the right reasons? 
    If it's something that is superficial like plastic surgery or weight-loss (if both are done with the sole intention of pleasing OTHERS) then it will most likely lead to you getting LOWER self esteem than you already have, because you sought out these changes to please others, not for yourself or your physical/mental/emotional health. There might come a time and you might hate yourself for your decisions or have a setback and gain ALL your weight back and possibly get more weight than you initially had.  
     
     
     
    #4 Are there side effects that could result from you attempting to achieve this goal? If so, are you prepared to face them? 
    If achieving this goal will harm you or cause small physical or mental side effects then you better be prepared to take them on. If not, then you shouldn't aim so high, maybe try to aim a little lower with a different less severe goal?  
     
     
     
    #5 Are you willing to continue on this path or do you think it's just a "phase" and then you'll be back to basics? Be HONEST with yourself! 
    This is relevant to many of us. We start on the good path to the promise land, then we lose our way halfway though and stumble and fall. It could happen, yes, true, but it also could be US ALLOWING it to happen. @PoisonCandy and @LG6 Pls Be Good mentioned earlier that they had plans on losing weight but never followed through with their plans. As many people, the obviously committed for 2 seconds then got lazy, don't many of us do that tho? Yes. I'm a living, breathing example of just that. But we can all learn from this bit of info right here:
     
     
     
    For any type of change, you must NOT create a new system for you to follow in order to achieve that goal. You must NOT make a schedule of daily exercises! You must NOT change your diet! You must NOT go to the gym 3-4 times a week! You must NOT sign up for a new health program! You must NOT drop a cigarette and quit cold-turkey on the spot! You must NOT have that drastic change in your life! All of this is counterproductive. It all NEVER WORKS! 
     
    The correct way is to induct healthier alternatives in your day to day life. Do not deprive yourself of anything!! Do not excessively workout daily!! What you have to do is dance more and workout less. Make it a FUN ACTIVITY THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WEIGHT LOSS! Make it a jog with a friend while chatting. Make it an yummy new meal that is - sidebar - also healthy, not a healthy meal that doesn't taste horrible. Make it a REALISTIC LIFESTYLE CHANGE, NOT A NEW REGIME/DIET to achieve a certain goal.   Most successful cases of weight loss and bettering one's health were not done by looking at it as a "diet" with deprivation of certain foods and being forced to work out every minute of every day, most of it is what came in small doses and what can be seen as a "Lifestyle" edit. 
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Hopefully this bit of advice can help us and heal us all. 
     
     
    If you have additions please post, if you have questions please submit, and if u have topics/questions for future blog entries, please PM me.  
     
     
    Thanks for tuning in.   
     
     
     
     
     
    Next entry will be a very heavy and serious topic relating to how far people are willing to hurt themselves in life. 
     
  15. H.O.N.E.Y
    Welcome everyone to the debut of my first blog on FOTP and the first entry. 
     
    I invited you all because I want you to know that this place is open 24/7 for any questions or advice on Love, Relationships, Family, Breakups, Dealing with Exes, Friendships.
    This place is a safe haven for you all, even the ones that didn't click well with me... I'm happy to help if you need any help. #SpreadPositivity
     
     
    Just a little intro on myself so you know who's giving the advice and then we can move on to the main course. 
     
    Intro:
     
     
     
     

     
     
     
     
    From my experience I feel it can be one of two possible scenarios:
     
    1. That person either never loved you in the first place or considered you a temporary love from the start. Sometimes people hook up during the summer, before a huge break, before finishing college, while visiting a hometown, etc And then they develop feelings during this time, and sometimes blurt "I love u" when deep down they know that when ______ finishes (insert college/high school/vacation/summer/etc) they'll move on with their life, and you're left to pick up the pieces. This doesn't necessarily mean that the temporary relationship is linked to the change of location of him or yourself, but it could be a time thing. That person could be more into short term relationships and used to them and used to moving on after each one ends. People like that are good  at hiding their true intentions and usually are capable of tricking their subjects into becoming more serious about the relationship and then when it ends for whatever reason (it could even be you ending it, but secretly caused by THEM, by them doing things that will make u end it) they just move on easily. 
     
    or
     
    2. That person has loved you, but they know what they want in life and know their worth. These types of people are ones that would sacrifices time and energy for person they care about. They can even be romantic and attached, and shower you with affection. But the moment they realize that the relationship is over and that you no longer care for them, their affection for you automatically shuts off, and you are just a memory to them. Their self worth wont allow them to cry over a person that is already finished with them. They know that they deserve to be loved, and they go and seek someone to give them what they deserve. It's not coming from a place of selfishness, because there is no relationship anymore... therefore, they are alone and have the right to do what they want. It's more of a place of self-love and knowing what you want. 
     
     
     
    For people that have had this behavior of an ex moving on way too soon after claiming they cared more:
     
    If you believe the relationship really ended, and you both agreed that you know longer want to continue the relationship, then you should remind yourself of that rather than focusing on what your ex is/isn't doing. Learning your own self worth means learning that once a chapter is closed, you turn the page and you start a new chapter. You are worth more than the people that you once associated with. You don't need a certain person to complete you, that is a perfect illusion.mp3, you complete yourself. Maybe alone time for a certain period with some contemplating and thinking would do u better than to jump into another relationship. 
     
     
     
     
    Anyone who has either a question about love/friendship/family relationships they want answered, just let me know in the comments or a PM. Or u can suggest a topic that I can discuss in a future entry.  I'm here for anyone that needs me.
     
     
     
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