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Teenage Wet Dream

Jake's Top 40 of 2016 (full list is up!!!!)

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Greetings everybody! It's winter break from school and I have finally had time to compile a list of my favorite songs of the year. 2016 was rough. Meghan Trainor won a grammy, the internet became obsessed with a dead gorilla, 21 pilots wouldn't stop getting spins on the radio, and Donald Trump became president. Despite all of that chaos, 2016 was a pretty good year for music. Even though there weren't many, if any, huge break out stars compared to recent years, we can all admit that established artists such as Beyonce, Bieber, Rihanna, The Weeknd, and even Britney managed to release some of their best material. 

To make my life easier, I have compiled a list of singles only - both radio and promo. The list is a mix of songs I heard on the radio, the best cuts/singles released by some of my favorite artists, songs I discovered on Spotify or from live performances/festival sets, and recommendations from friends. Hope you enjoy! 

Now let us begin...

Teenage Wet Dream's Top 40 of 2016!

 

40-21

Spoiler

40. Closer - Chainsmokers feat. Halsey 

 

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Overplayed? Yes. Basic production? Definitely. Shallow lyrics thrown together so they rhyme and the chorus sticks in your head? You betcha. Throw it all together and you have a generic but irresistible pop tune you couldn't help getting hooked on. Despite all of it's genericness, there's a touch of pop brilliance sprinkling over it - hence why it's the longest running #1 of 2016. 

 

39. Good Grief - Bastille

 

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While not as bizarre or infectious as their 2013 hit "Pompeii", Bastille gave us another catchy slice of alt-rock this past summer with this lead single accompanied by Dan Smith's smooth vocals. 

 

38. Parachute - Chris Stapleton

 

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Not a big fan of country but I am a sucker for anything southern rock influenced/blue grass inspired. After seeing Chris Stapleton perform this on SNL way back in January, it really captured my attention and stayed on my radar for most of the year. 

 

37. All We Ever Knew - The Head and the Heart

 

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Never heard of this band until spending my summer working in Kansas City. I heard their music on the radio frequently there and even saw them perform during a summer music festival there. While the indie-folk-pop trend is a bit too prevalent in music nowadays, this song's heartfelt and nostalgic lyrics made it a stand out for me. 

 

36. Distraction - Kehlani 

 

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Why did I just come across this bishh a few months ago? I am becoming a bit obsessed atm with her debut LP "Wish You Were Here" while I wait for the follow up. While 'Distraction' is a bit of pop fluff, it's 90's R&B throwback sound takes me back in time to middle school dances and TLC. 

 

35. HandClap - Fitz & The Tantrums

 

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Combining pop's new favorite instrument (horns) with Fitz & The Tantrum's funky sound makes for one catchy pop number. 

 

34. Sexual - NEIKED feat. Dyo

 

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Excellent find on Spotify. Hope to see this break airwaves on radio in 2017. It's catchy and spunky enough to be radio's next earworm. 

 

33. Cross My Mind - A R I Z O N A

 

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Another Spotify discovery. Simple lyrics and a simple hook combined with pop friendly but solid electronic production. 

 

32. Bad Decisions - Two Door Cinema Club

 

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This Irish alt-indie band's 2010 debut album, "Tourist History", remains a personal favorite of mine. Not impressed with their subsequent releases, 'Bad Decisions' quickly turned me back on Two Door Cinema Club with it's guitar riffs and disco inspired sound. 

 

31. I Took A Pill in Ibiza - Mike Posner

 

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What I love about this song is how the lyrics evoke similar emotions in both the original (piano) version and the Seeb club remix. Anyone who's experienced coming down from molly knows the feelings of anxiety and borderline depression and can relate to this song at least a little. Totally deserving of the Grammy nom for "Song of the Year" just for the choruses's sweet but sad melody. 

 

30. Black Beatles -  Rae Sremmurd feat. Gucci Mane

 

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Didn't care for this duo too much, but after hearing their songs all over St. Louis rap radio I finally gave in. Black Beatles is definitely one of the best rap songs of the year and can thank it's popularity largely to celebs like Paul McCartney and even Hillary Clinton for using it in their Mannequinn Challenge videos. My only problem - Hill got ya'll to #1 but you couldn't do the same for her? We can just blame it on America using some TEA/SEA chart formula handing the election to Trump instead of counting sales only ny5 

 

29. Gone - JR JR

 

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Another catchy indie-pop gem I came across in my Spotify playlists. Received considerable airplay on alternative radio but never crossed over into top 40 unfortunately (like it should have).

 

28. Bang My Head - David Guetta feat. Sia & Fetty Wap

 

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David Guetta is basic AF nowadays and he somehow managed to make a serious club bop by adding some basic trop house breakdown. I guess we can mainly thank Sia's flawless vocals to making rest of the magic. 

 

27. Something In The Way You Move - Ellie Goulding 

 

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Delerium didn't impress me much on first listen but after seeing Ellie in concert this past May, I grew to appreciate the album way more. 'Something' may recycle the same formula as last year's smash 'LMLYD' but has enough Ellie flair to make it distinct and distant enough as its own brand of pop magic. 

 

26. S.O.B. - Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats

 

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Same as I said for 'Parachute'. I'm a sucker for this type of sound. Must be my midwestern routes since Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats are actually originally based in a Missouri county not too far from me! 

 

25. Up & Up - Coldplay

 

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A stand out on their 2015 album "A Head Full of Dreams", Up & Up slayed me again after it's inclusion in their Superbowl Halftime Setlist. To make me fall in love with this uplifting stadium sized anthem, it was accompanied by a flawless and gorgeous music video that should of aided placing this song high on the charts. 

 

24. Roses - Chainsmokers feat. ROZES

 

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I think Chainsmokers are 2016's version of generic Pitbull/LMFAO/Jason Derulo/Flo Rida top 40 club garbage - the songs are generic and they have a few bops but nothing special. HOWEVER this song stands out of their entire discography as something different and mesmerizing. Why this did not slay as hard as 'Don't Let Me Down (even though the song did) feat. Daya', I will never know. 

 

23. Lush Life - Zara Larsson

 

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This song becoming a hit in the States would have truly helped Zara stick better. Unfortunately this flawless piece of summer pop magic did not resonate with the masses. Shame because this song is going to be on my summer playlists for years to come. 

 

22. Write On Me - Fifth Harmony

 

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I really tried hating this band but made an exception for the flawless bop that is 'Sledgehammer'. I really wanted to hate them when they released 'Work From Home' right after Rihallah rihleased her 'Work' but iconic construction themed music video made me feel otherwise. Then they released this Kygo-produced campfire sing a long meets trop house bubblegum pop piece of top 40 gold. Should have been second single over that shitty Fetty Wap song. 

 

21. Vibes - Tove Lo feat. Joe Janiak

 

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I remember watching "Fairy Dust", albeit very stoned, and being slayed to smithereens during 'Vibes''s part. Sexy and seductive, this song could have been a cut on Britney's "In The Zone" or even Janet's "The Velvet Rope". Weird enough to stand out for all the right reasons and catchy enough to press the replay button. 

 

 

20-1

 

Spoiler

20. No Problem - Chance the Rapper feat. 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne

 

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In a world where rappers rhymes are typically about the club and bling or rooted in anger and politics, Chance was the refreshing upbeat MC 2016 needed. The fact he refuses to sign to a label despite his increasing popularity and success is admirable. Not to mention his quality bops on his official debut album! No Problem is just one of many great tacks on "The Coloring Book" LP but is a great taste of what Chance has in store. An up tempo beat placed over a choir accompanied with Chance's rapping and a catchy chorus to boot, help Chance proclaim that he doesn't plan on signing his career and talent over anytime soon. 

19. Side to Side - Ariana Grande feat. Nicki Minaj

 

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Instantly a standout cut of Ari's solid follow up to the almost flawless "My Everything", Side to Side is the catchiest and dirtiest song we heard on top 40 probably all year. To top off Ari's sexy vocals and Max's bouncy, reggae inspired chorus, we get a Nicki verse chock full of interesting innuendos that was so good she does it twice in the song. By the way, if you have not looked up what "wrist icicle" means I encourage you to google it. 

18. Fashion - The Royal Concept

 

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Catchy pop song by a fun little Swedish power pop band. Sounds something from a movie soundtrack in the late 80's, this band could have a big pop hit on US radios next year if they play their cards right. 

17. Hymn for the Weekend - Coldplay feat. Beyonce

 

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What makes any song instantly better? Adding background vocals from Queen B. Two of the biggest acts in the world come together and create a universal pop giant with an anthemic chorus to match. B also looks gorgeous in the video might I add. 

16. Make Me... - Britney Spears feat. G-Eazy

 

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2013 and 2014 was a very hard year for Britney fans. Actually post 2006 has been a hard decade for Britney fans because it just didn't feel like she gave a shit or even sang/could sing anymore. Make Me was really "the spark" that reignited her fanbase's passion and excitement. For the first time in who knows how long, Brit actually sounds like she's singing and her voice sounds the sexiest it has since 2004. Thank you BURNS, thank you. 

15. Fool for Love - Lord Huron

 

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Discovered this song watching an episode of HBO's "Girls" earlier this year. Technically it was released in 2015 but this has become one of my favorite songs ever so I included it on my list. Fuck off. It's a beautiful and upbeat folk love song you should all give a chance. 

14. Help Me Run Away - St. Lucia

 

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St. Lucia's lead single from their 2016 album "Matter" landed at No. 2 on my list last year, so it was only appropriate to include one of their follow up bops on this year's list. 'Run Away' is as catchy as can be with a chorus straight out of a 1980's New Wave band's smash album. The crashing synths and St. Lucia's vocals create a power pop anthem for anyone hitting the road for vacation or the gym for a quick run. 

13. Make Me Like You - Gwen Stefani

 

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THIS SONG IS WHAT GWEN SHOULD HAVE RELEASED FIRST ALL ALONG. NOT BABY DONT LIE. NOT SPARK THE FIRE. NOT USED TO LOVE YOU. MAKE ME LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRST. I know the "i love Blake Shelton sfm" theme gets a bit tiring, trust me I know, but MMLY is a fluffy piece of pop gold that Gwen could have recorded on LAMB or even with No Doubt during their pop years. Had she released this back in 2014, maybe her comeback would have launched a little higher or not. Who knows. At least the fans's ears were blessed with this flaw free tune. 

12. I Feel It Coming - The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk

 

 

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Hearing The Weeknd was working with Daft Punk really excited me especially after their last album "Random Access Memories" slayed me to pieces. 'Starboy' was an excellent lead single choice but did not convey the magic I thought this collaboration would have. That all changed after hearing 'I Feel It Coming'. Take Abel's smooth/angelic, MJ inspired vocals and Daft Punk's robotic production and voice distortion and you get the next big single the Weeknd will dominate top 40 with. There's something beautiful and yet tragic about this song (like a lot of The Weeknd's love songs) that lets you put this song on before, during, and after the party where nobody will say turn it off. 

11. Kill V. Maim - Grimes

 

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Why did I wait until late 2015 to get into Grimes? Will never understand. Not only did she slay me last year with "Art Angels", I was able to see this bish open for Florence and the Machine this past summer. KVM was instantly a standout on AA thanks to its catchy poppy hook that did not drown on Grime's own grit and eclectic sound. Who knew a song about Al Pacino being a vampire would get stuck in my head so much this past year? 

10. Do You Wanna Come Over? - Britney Spears

 

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While I was slayed by Make Me..., I had my reservations about Glory. I was fooled once by Work Bitch's flawlessness only to be let down (immensely) by Myah Jean so I expected the same honestly. Private Show and Clumsy were cute promo singles but Do You Wanna Come Over really just blew me away. The Pharrell-esque guitars, the Madonna/William Orbit sounding beat, the pre-chorus reminiscent of Femme Fatale/Hold It Against Me Britney, Britney's sexy coos we haven't heard since 2001, and even the obnoxious shouting chorus all come together to create one of the most unique and irresistible pop earworms of the year and Britney's career. 

9. Someone That Loves You - HONNE & Izzy Bizu

 

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Another discover on Spotify. Beautiful duet and love song that should have ruled the airwaves this past year. Maybe if bigger stars had collaborated this song would have gotten the success it deserved. Oh well. I strongly recommend pop fans to give this tune a chance, they won't regret it. 

8. Into You - Ariana Grande

 

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Dangerous Woman, the single, was cute but not what I was wanting from Ari's follow up to the immaculate "My Everything". She really delivered with her second smash single thanks yet again to the talents of King Max Martin. Into You is everything a dance pop song in 2016 should be: a pulsating synth powered beat that gets bigger and hungrier as each second passes, a pre-chorus that leaves you hopeless and vulnerable and hanging on for the song to deliver, and all crashing down into an epic, mammoth of a chorus. The song's peak at #13 is truly the SECOND biggest crime in pop music in 2016 and I don't think anyone can disagree with that. 

7. Slumber Party - Britney Spears

 

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Why this flawless song needed a Tinashe feature I'll never know. Britney's more recent music has always been more about the production, beats, bells and whistles, and repetition that it has been about the perfected pop choruses she blessed us with in her earlier years, but Slumber Party finally returns to that. With one of the best choruses in pop music this year, a mixture of reggae inspired instruments backing the sexy faux R&B production, and Brit's best video in YEARS help suppress any fear that Britney is done or leaving us anytime soon. Welcome back queen. 

6. Kiss It Better - Rihanna

 

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If 'Into You' peaking at #13 is the second biggest crime in pop music this year, then Rihanna's 'Kiss It Better' failing to crack the top 60 is number one. We can all give 'Needed Me' a big fat fuck/thank you for that. KIB remains my favorite song on Anti from first listen to this day. It's Rihanna at her sexiest and most seductive with a guitar riff Prince wishes he did on one of his late 80's slow jams. At least it wasn't overplayed to death like all of other Rih's singles this year! Here's to KIB winning a Grammy in Feb 2017 as it deserves to! 

5. Cheap Thrills - Sia

 

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I was really unsure of what to expect from Sia's "This Is Acting" and it's collection of rejected pop hits. There must have been good reasons for Rihanna, Adele, and Katy to reject these songs right? 'Thrills' instantly made you scratch your head and ask "wtf was Rihanna smoking when she rejected this?" Yes it would not have fit on Anti but we can all agree it should have replaced the track 'Woo/Poo' easily. Joke's on Rih Rih because this song has now become a pop radio staple and Sia's biggest hit. Almost a year later, I am still bopping to this song and always put it on to get me into the party/dancing mood. 

4. Formation - Beyonce

 

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This bitch just won't stop snatching my wig. Just when I fixed my weave and glued it down after 'Self-Titled', Queen B just had to drop this single and scalp me clean. Only Beysus Christ would create a ratchet trap song and turn into a powerful, political message. Not to mention this is easily the best video of the year. You can say what you want about her music, but Bey has really shown how to visually market your music to leave the biggest impact possible. Our faves need to step their pussy's up if they plan on competing. #cuzsheslays! 

3. Life Itself - Glass Animals

 

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Glass Animals was an early 2015 discovery for me and have become one of my favorite acts. Their debut album "Zaba" was full of jungle inspired, mid-tempo cuts that can only be described as "groovy". I had high expectations for their follow up music and was not disappointed. 'Life Itself' is one of those songs you hear on first listen and then find yourself knocked on the floor by its unexpected punch to the face. With a beat straight out of "Yoshi's Story" and one of the catchiest and danciest choruses of the year, Glass Animals continue to cement their place in alternative music. 

2. Water Under the Bridge - Adele

 

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Instantly my favorite song on 25, I relieved that 12 months later Adele was decided to finally release this monster. Even though WWWY and SML were obvious single choices, Water Under the Bridge would have outperformed both songs had she released it after 'Hello'. What makes this song so brilliant is the mix of Adele's haunting, heartbroken lyrics we all know and love, the upbeat disco yet tropical inspired guitar riff, and the backing vocals that help carry the song to even greater heights. Fingers crossed this becomes the hit it deserves. 

1. The Sound - The 1975

 

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'Chocolate' was one of my favorite songs of 2014 but I did not see The 1975 appealing to me the to the same degree they once did. Watching them perform this on SNL in February really changed my mind. What makes this song so so so fucking good is how "so The 1975 and how "not so the 1975" is. 'The Sound' piles 80's nostalgia, one hell of a chorus, and a sick guitar solo on top of Matt Healy's quirky but eccentric lyrics to create one of the biggest standout songs of the year. 

 

 

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19 hours ago, Teenage Wet Dream said:

Greetings everybody! It's winter break from school and I have finally had time to compile a list of my favorite songs of the year. 2016 was rough. Meghan Trainor won a grammy, the internet became obsessed with a dead gorilla, 21 pilots wouldn't stop getting spins on the radio, and Donald Trump became president. Despite all of that chaos, 2016 was a pretty good year for music. Even though there weren't many, if any, huge break out stars compared to recent years, we can all admit that established artists such as Beyonce, Bieber, Rihanna, The Weeknd, and even Britney managed to release some of their best material. 

To make my life easier, I have compiled a list of singles only - both radio and promo. The list is a mix of songs I heard on the radio, the best cuts/singles released by some of my favorite artists, songs I discovered on Spotify or from live performances/festival sets, and recommendations from friends. Hope you enjoy! 

Now let us begin...

Teenage Wet Dream's Top 40 of 2016!

 

40-21

  Hide contents

40. Closer - Chainsmokers feat. Halsey 

 

 

39. Good Grief - Bastille

 

 

38. Parachute - Chris Stapleton

 

 

37. All We Ever Knew - The Head and the Heart

 

 

36. Distraction - Kehlani 

 

 

35. HandClap - Fitz & The Tantrums

 

 

34. Sexual - NEIKED feat. Dyo

 

 

33. Cross My Mind - A R I Z O N A

 

 

32. Bad Decisions - Two Door Cinema Club

 

 

31. I Took A Pill in Ibiza - Mike Posner

 

 

30. Black Beatles -  Rae Sremmurd feat. Gucci Mane

 

 

29. Gone - JR JR

 

 

28. Bang My Head - David Guetta feat. Sia & Fetty Wap

 

 

27. Something In The Way You Move - Ellie Goulding 

 

 

26. S.O.B. - Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats

 

 

25. Up & Up - Coldplay

 

 

24. Roses - Chainsmokers feat. ROZES

 

 

23. Lush Life - Zara Larsson

 

 

22. Write On Me - Fifth Harmony

 

 

21. Vibes - Tove Lo feat. Joe Janiak

 

 

 

20-1

 

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Oh my God, Sexual is literally MASSIVE here in Australia. It's literally on the radio every time I turn it on.

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Greetings everybody! It's winter break from school and I have finally had time to compile a list of my favorite songs of the year. 2016 was rough. Meghan Trainor won a grammy, the internet became obse

I can't wait for the list, Jake. 

come through Jake


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