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The Real Housewives of Goldtown

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From the depths of Goldtown, we bring u 7 women just living their lives in the big city

managing their way between wig pulling and real drama.

This is Season 6 of the Real Housewives of Goldtown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 1: New Bitches on the Block

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Hey yall, back for another season of truth coming out the ears, mouths, and assholes of these bitches. And you know me I'm the one to get the job done! 

Obviously I need no introductions but Imma do 'em anyways. So I'm Cree. I'm a multi-millionaire hustlin' bitch married to an outlaw.

 

 

Cree's mansion:

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I'm 52, but obviously you thought I was 25, surprise bitch!

 

 

 

 

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I have a stepdaughter which I keep on a tight leash. I'm the strict one, my husband

Aaron is the good cop he let's her get away with everything. Even murder!

 

 

 

 

 

Recap:

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Jenny: Hey, Cree, so me and my friends are going to the beach. We'll be back at 2 A.M. Bye.

 

 

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Cree: Make sure to take condoms, sweety!

 

 

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Cree: You're such a creepy woman. 

 

 

 

 

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Cree: What everyone knows in my house is that everyone has to respect moi.

It's my fuckin' house and if you're living in it you better respect the queen.

 

 

 

 

Recap:
 

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Jenny: Hey, wtf is this wrinkle on my shirt. Don't u know how to iron, hag? 

 

 

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Cree: Honey, I never iron. I have people paid just to iron, go ask one of them to fix it.

 

 

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Jenny: Whatever, slut!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Cree: My husband Aaron is on a business/hunting trip. Well let's just say he's not much into animal hunting.

 

 

 

 

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Cree: At least I know where my hubby spends his time unlike that old bitch, Miranda. Hey Miranda do u enjoy getting fired?!

 

 

 

 

Recap from Season 5's Reunion:

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Jake Mitchell: And we're back after the break. So tell me Cree, how's your love life with Aaron doing?

 

 

 

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Cree: It's great actually. We go on skiing trips. We drink the best wine there is in the world. What's not to love?

 

 

 

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Miranda: Bitch please, stop the fakery. Stop the bullshit. We all know he cheats!

He bangs everything he sees! He bangs corpses, bugs, animals, even a hole in the wall! JUST OWN IT!

 

 

 

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Cree: Maybe that's what your boyfriend Peter does. What a way to air your own dirty laundry.

It's a sad life isn't it. Why don't you leave that abusive relationship.

 

 

 

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Miranda: I've seen the pictures! I have evidence!!!

 

 

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Cree: What pictures? They must be your picture, sweety.

 

 

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Miranda: Yeah in fact I do confess! I slept with Aaron and took pics of his penis as proof! Now you know he cheats!!

 

 

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Cree: And where exactly did you say he banged you?

 

 

 

 

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Miranda: In your summertime lodge house in the country side! Last weekend!

 

 

 

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Cree: One second. Jake, I have to make a phone call, just a minute.

 

 

On speaker:

Cree: Hello, Aaron, you're on the air. I just need to ask a question.

Aaron: Sure, baby. Ask away.

Cree: Who was staying at our lodge house last weekend?

Aaron: The country side one?

Cree: Yep. That's the one.

Aaron: My grandpa Joe and his buddy.

 

 

 

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Miranda: What the fuck!!! You mean I slept with an 80 year old and his sagging friend too? Omg I'm gonna barf!

 

 

 

 

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Cree: Dumb hoes finish last. Your testimony is CANCELLED!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Shonna: Hey yall. So I'm Shonna. I'm not sure how old I am but below 30. I THINK!

 

 

 

 

Shonna's Apartment:

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Shonna: So I just moved to Goldtown in search of success and fame and a career. I truly am gonna blow yall away with my new hit single! 

 

 

 

 

 

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Shonna: Currently I live alone in my apartment, but I'm looking Mr. Right. I know he about to come up on me any minute now.

 

 

 

 

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Shonna: So Cree invited me an the rest of the girls to her mansion in the upper east side, and it's supposed to be a mega hit with a buffet. Can't wait cos I'm starving!

 

 

 

 

 

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Shonna: So there's this one bitch named Eve that keeps popping up in my life and I had to keep ha together. You may see her pop up again.

 

 

 

 

Recap:

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Shonna: So I don't know if the other girls will accept me, but one of them that stuck out to me was Miss Baby Cakes.

 

 

 

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Shonna: Now as soon as I learned this old bitch used to be a hooker I had to call her up and chat.

We hit if off right away and she's the one I'm here for in the group. She a bad bitch like me. We sisters for life!

 

 

 

Recap:

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Phonecall:

Shonna: Hello. Baby Cakes? Is it you?

Baby Cakes: Hey bitch! Who is this by the way?

Shonna: It's your cast-member from the show, housewives. I'm Shonna!

Baby Cakes: Oh the black ghetto one. How nice.

Shonna: Now bitch!

Baby Cakes: Don't  worry I'm no redneck racist, I just like to ruffle feathers. You seem like a sane person on the cast the rest are cuckoo for coco puffs!

Shonna: Good! Cos I was ready to come over and smack you up on your face! Be careful next time cos I swear I can't control my fist! It has a mind of its own!

Baby Cakes: So I've been invited to Cree's house next Saturday. I don't know how to feel about that one. I heard she broke up 3 marriages with lies.

Shonna: Why? You married?

Baby Cakes: No

Shonna: Then u got nothing to worry about. We'll get that bitch together! Me and you!

 

 

 

 

 

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Elayne: You all know me by now. By far the most famous girl on the panel.

So my kids are on vacation and I'm home alone these days.

 

 

 

 

Elayne's Villa:

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Elayne: And what do I do? You'd probably think I'd spend the time humping my husband, since we have the house to ourselves.

Well you guessed wrong. I actually called my little birds which are all over the city gathering info for me. They told me some pretty juicy gossip about Baby Cakes.

 

 

 

 

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Elayne: I mean I heard she faked her own death for publicity. Isn't that just sick? I also became friends with her twin sister. Her sister will be showing up at Cree's party.

I'd love to know what face Slut Cakes will make, when she sees the surprise bitch moment! I also have another surprise for the girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tune in next time for another episode of 

The Real Housewives of Goldtown

 

 

 

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25 minutes ago, H.O.N.E.Y said:

Immunity Question:

 

Which housewife seems the most fake so far?

1- Cree

2- Shonna

3- Baby Cakes

3- Elayne

 

The first 3 that answer will get a chance to get immunity.

 

 

Cree

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59 minutes ago, H.O.N.E.Y said:

Immunity Question:

 

Which housewife seems the most fake so far?

1- Cree

2- Shonna

3- Baby Cakes

3- Elayne

 

The first 3 that answer will get a chance to get immunity.

 

 

Elayne

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Do I vote too as a guest? brit15 I'd say Cree!

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Just now, Royalty said:

Do I vote too as a guest? brit15 I'd say Cree!

Yes guests can always share their opinions on the questions, even if the players are the ones to benefit. aretha1

 

Cree's a mess with her husband. Can't wait to share her dirty laundry soon. ny6

 

It depends if @PhCh, @frankgutz will play their cards right. Cos it's a life/death situation. nat1

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21 hours ago, H.O.N.E.Y said:

Yes guests can always share their opinions on the questions, even if the players are the ones to benefit. aretha1

 

Cree's a mess with her husband. Can't wait to share her dirty laundry soon. ny6

 

It depends if @PhCh, @frankgutz will play their cards right. Cos it's a life/death situation. nat1

Okay but the answer is Cree right?

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omg, im the 3rd, i vote for Cree too!! demi1

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#DecisionTime:

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Shonna (@frankgutz) has to decide which label she wants to aim at being signed to. Post the logo of the label you want to schedule a meeting with.

 

 

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omg, Shonna is gonna be famous cry6

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