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#LachlanREVIEWS - Hard Candy (2008)

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Let's get #controversial!

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1. CANDY SHOP (3/5)
Objectively this song is kinda bad, but it bops too much to give it a terrible score. This song definitely has Pharrell written all over it; but I do like the inclusion of the bongos and guitars in the production. It’s definitely not her most sophisticated metaphor for sex but anywho.

2. 4 MINUTES (F/ JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE & TIMBALAND) (4/5)
I have no idea if this song is hated or not among her fanbase but still bops… hard! The trade-offs between Madge and Justin are a good element to the track and I think it works really well as a duet. Timbaland’s production comes through really strong on this album which can be a bit tiring; but she gets a pass with this song.

3. GIVE IT 2 ME (3.5/5)
Why does everything Pharrell has ever touched have the same sound. This song is quite bombastic and tongue-in-cheek at it’s core, and it’s definitely one of the more enjoyable dance floor moments on the record. I like the fact that she seems to introduce a new hook every so often throughout the song to keep things interesting. That ‘get stupid’ interlude is so unnecessary though. Delete it.

4. HEARTBEAT (3/5)
Much like Candy Shop, this song is catchy as hell which earns it some brownie points, but it’s just lacking the energy or excitement that has made Madonna’s music amazing in the past. She isn’t bringing anything to the table which is a little disappointing.

5. MILES AWAY (4/5)
On the first few listens, this song was kind of just there. But I really grew to love the melodies and the autobiographical lyrics; something that’s missing from a majority of the songs on the album. I would’ve loved some more instrumental breaks, because for a song that’s almost like an electronic ballad of sorts, it feels quite rushed.

6. SHE’S NOT ME (4.5/5)
The intro to this track is so good; that bassline and those strings. This feels a little more polished and punchy than some of the other Timabaland/Neptunes productions. It’s sassy and cheeky in the way that 00s Madonna needed to be.

7. INCREDIBLE (1.5/5)
I have no idea what to think about this song. And why does it go for six minutes? It’s kind of sweet, but then again I’m not sure if I like Sweetdonna. It’s just a strange song.

8. BEAT GOES ON (F/ KANYE WEST) (3.5/5)
Queen of trying to pander to a younger audience! This song is a merge of the 70s and 80s, which I really love. Kanye’s verse feels a tad out-of-place but I can’t help but like this song in it’s entirety.

9. DANCE 2NIGHT (F/ JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE) (4/5)
Again, I really love Madge and Justin’s voices together. It’s quite an odd pair at face value but it sounds really great. The pre-chorus and chorus really take this song to new heights and I just can’t get enough of it. It has a very chilled out disco-funk vibe to it that’s so irresistible.

10. SPANISH LESSON (2.5/5)
It frustrates me that Madonna has done a few Latin influenced songs in the past, but so much better. Don’t fix what’s not broke my dear. It’s not terrible, it’s just middle of the road and kind of an unnecessary inclusion on the album.

11. DEVIL WOULDN’T RECOGNISE YOU (4.5/5)
Another moment of near-complete excellence on this album. This song is put together really well and actually conveys some believable emotion. The production is really unique to the album and actually has a lot of layers to it, making an ever-interesting listen. The interlude at 3:15 is something that was missing in this album; a sense of unexpected changes in the music.

12. VOICES (4/5)
Oh boy is this song underrated. It really doesn’t fit on this album at all, but it does make for a really curious closer. The production kind of verges on trip-hop territory at some points, which I’m a sucker for and the strings create such a dramatic crescendo that is probably undeserving of this album.

OVERALL - 70 on Lachlancritic
Honestly, I really don't hate this album? It's clearly not her best but it has some really strong songs on there. The main issue is that there's also a few middling songs as well that drag it's score down.
 

ALBUM RANKING SO FAR
Ray of Light - 97
Bedtime Stories / Erotica - 90
Like a Prayer / Confessions on a Dancefloor - 88
Music – 85
True Blue - 79
American Life - 77
Madonna - 75
Like a Virgin – 74
Hard Candy – 70

 

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Before i read and comment i would like to address this

Quote

Honestly, I really don't hate this album?

Thank you. Album is not terrible, her worst or deserves hate. That bandwagon started in recent years.

Hate probably has to do something with her decline in success, and it's her last really big era, album and smash hit so fans are bitter.

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1 minute ago, Maryanne said:

Ew, AL higher than HC ew2

 

Dance Tonight is such a jam, I completely forgot about it, lemme bop to it now demi1

Yes, Dance Tonight is a true highlight. demi1

1 minute ago, Angelus said:

Before i read and comment i would like to address this

Thank you. Album is not terrible, her worst or deserves hate. That bandwagon started in recent years.

Hate probably has to do something with her decline in success, and it's her last really big era, album and smash hit so fans are bitter.

I guess that's why it's nice to have someone with fresh eyes visit her discography. moo1

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1 minute ago, Angelus said:

Before i read and comment i would like to address this

Thank you. Album is not terrible, her worst or deserves hate. That bandwagon started in recent years.

Hate probably has to do something with her decline in success, and it's her last really big era, album and smash hit so fans are bitter.

Nisam te prepoznala :P

I agree. Plus, 4 minutes still sounds very fresh (and I'm not biased cause it's a JT/Timbaland song demi1

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Just now, Maryanne said:

Nisam te prepoznala :P

I agree. Plus, 4 minutes still sounds very fresh (and I'm not biased cause it's a JT/Timbaland song demi1

Nisam andjeo jj2

4M kept growing on me over the years tho jj2 i never overplayed it and that's why it still sounds so fresh to me demi1

 

1 minute ago, Lachlan said:

Yes, Dance Tonight is a true highlight. demi1

I guess that's why it's nice to have someone with fresh eyes visit her discography. moo1

I just noticed that album has zero 5s      oprah6

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2 minutes ago, Angelus said:

Nisam andjeo jj2

4M kept growing on me over the years tho jj2 i never overplayed it and that's why it still sounds so fresh to me demi1

 

I just noticed that album has zero 5s      oprah6

DWRY is the only song close to a 5 but I still don't think it's at that level. oprah13 That's what I mean about the album; it has a lot of good tracks, but nothing really showstopping and Incredible.m4a. oprah13

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Quote

The interlude at 3:15 is something that was missing in this album; a sense of unexpected changes in the music.

But i feel like album had those in songs like She's Not Me and Incredible. In Beat Goes On too because Kanye is kinda unexpected an comes out of nowhere, GI2M is all over, repeat this repeat that etc.

 

It's her last album with 'unexpected structures'.

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My trinitea: Miles Away / Devil / Heartbeat. lj1

I used to think the same about Heartbeat until I saw the Sticky & Sweet Tour and fully scalped me. Sometimes it just takes a performance.

I thought Incredible was going down in history as Madonna's worst song ever but then Autotune Baby was born. tumblr_inline_nq3q0ppIwn1sdg6f3_500.gif

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1 minute ago, Hysteria said:

My trinitea: Miles Away / Devil / Heartbeat. lj1

I used to think the same about Heartbeat until I saw the Sticky & Sweet Tour and fully scalped me. Sometimes it just takes a performance.

I thought Incredible was going down in history as Madonna's worst song ever but then Autotune Baby was born. tumblr_inline_nq3q0ppIwn1sdg6f3_500.gif

Incredible is lame but it's not as bad as Best Friend. jj2

 

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Just now, Maryanne said:

This used to be my playground favourite Madonna album. I still have a soft spot for it, but I prefer Erotica, Music and ROL more. It's on the same level as COADF, RH and BS demi1

 

Used to be your favourite Madonna album? wendy1 That's quite a bold opinion. wendy1

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8 minutes ago, Angelus said:

That bandwagon started in recent years. Hate probably has to do something with her decline in success, and it's her last really big era, album and smash hit so fans are bitter.

Not true. It has been polarizing since its release. Before MDNA release, many fans expressed hate of HC. jj3 It has nothing to do with the fact that HC was the last era with hit album and single. moo3 

1 minute ago, Angelus said:

It's her last album with 'unexpected structures'.

Actually, MDNA has those too. jj3 

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Just now, Lachlan said:

Used to be your favourite Madonna album? wendy1 That's quite a bold opinion. wendy1

Keep in mind that until recently I only knew her post 2005 discography.

Add a huge crush to JT, and that's why HC was my fave album up until a few years ago demi1

 

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