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Ke$ha, aka "Ka$hew" and "Ketchup" or, to give him hi$ correct name, Michelle $tarborgling Jr i$ an incredibly talented mu$ical tran$ve$tite, with a pa$$ion for clapped out old rock$tar$ e.g. Mick Jagger. A$ an "arti$t" ($)he ha$ $old a few album$ world wide and i$ famou$. ($)he is known to drink copiou$ amount$ of her mouthwa$h of choice, Jack Daniel'$ and $pend$ most of her day$ dedicating $ong$ to her 'haterr$$$'. Who the hater$ are exactly, remain$ to be $een. ($ee al$o $chizophrenia).

 

 

Ke$ha ha$ relea$ed one pathetic excu$e for an album, 'Animal'$ I've Banged'. $he ha$ confirmed that mo$t of the lyric$ from her album have been remini$cent of her younger year$ in which $he worked a$ a pro$titute. Her next album wa$ called 'Cannibal'$ I've Banged' (which ha$ a completely different name than the fir$t). $he/he write$ about loving your$elf if you are gay in one $ong, but in the other, $he $ay$ that her boyfriend ha$ a vagina becau$e $he love$ contradiction$. Ke$ha ha$ al$o announced the title of her upcoming album 'What I Find in My Pant$.' Thi$ album i$ $uppo$ed to tell the $tory of her relation$hip with her parent$. Ke$ha ha$ not yet confirmed a relea$e date.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Kesha

 

 

 

 

Madonna Louise Ciccone is a mysterious, immortal, almighty, demon-like, muscle-bound yet still sexy creature that is believed by some to be the reason why God hates humanity. While nobody knows the true name or nature of this being, she was christened Madonna at birth but we can assure you that this lady is almost certainly not a virgin. Perhaps more commonly known as the 'Queen of Pop,' mostly due to the fact she has outlived all other contenders. Some say she has been around since the dawn of man, just by drinking the sweat of cats (see: immortality).

 

Madonna stunned the world when she accidentally adopted the entire male population of Liberia. With all of these kids, Madonna thought of what to do. An idea struck her, and she put them inside giant maracas, and started shaking them. She soon regretted this, so she made up a fictional country, Malawi. When Malawi denied her the right to adopt children there, she became angry and recorded the sound of children screaming while being shaken inside a giant maraca. The noise became Madonna's next album, "Me Against the Catholicism". It's not considered one of her better albums.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Madonna

 

 

 

Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll, more popularly known as Shakes the Clown (not to be confused with Shaquille O'Neil), is a Latina-Lebanese-Spanish-Catalan-American-Russian-Borg-Madonna-...Colombian? singer from Tromsø. Her style is known as "Latin pop," because she sings primarily in Latin and pops bubble gum right before she devours her live audiences.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Shakira

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Ms. Lady Gaga, also known as Lady Goo Goo, Lady Gag-Worthy and Baby Dribble (real name Stefani Joanne Mussolino Angelina Vito Corleone La Himo XV), is an androgynous oddball Illuminati tool, aged somewhere between 8 and 45, and has build a solid reputation as a current trend pop-singer who will be as forgotten about in ten years. Her gender is probably male, contrary contrary to popular belief, although scientists are working to confirm this. Gaga is known for her outrageous style, which often involves strange costumes and flammable substances. Her two sisters are Lady Sovereign and Lady Hawke who make equally catchy music to Lady Gaga. As of right now, her global fame shows no signs of diminishing, despite the attempts of numerous assasins and the fact that she has only three hit songs, meaning she has the highest hits to fame ratio since Vanilla Ice.

 

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_gaga

 

 

 

Aretha Franklin, aka the Queen Beatch of Soul and "the meanest mother fucker to ever climb the charts" is an African American singer. A native of Detroit, Franklin unleashed her fury on the American public in 1963 with her unforgettable hit "What the Fuck You Looking At, My Sweet Jesus?" on the Ed Sullivan Show. Said Sullivan "Folks if you think she is big now, just give her three years all the Oreos she can eat and I promise you the results will be beyond spectacular."

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Aretha_Franklin

 

 

Britney Spears is an American entertainer, singer, dancer and succubus. Her seductive voice and charming looks infuse her art with true aesthetics. Through her music, Britney communicates messages and feelings powerfully, boldly and convincingly. She has a special gift for energizing, empowering and inspiring the person experiencing her art, so that this person feels involved in the artistic process. Britney's performances are thrilling invitations to a shared emotion, and you can feel her personality immediately next to you with all its multi-layered charm and sophisticated sweetness. Britney's eyes and lips radiate enchanting sincerity and touching warmth which she generously shares with every admirer of her art. However, Britney is most famous for her mental breakdowns and acts of insanity such as shaving her head.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Britney_Spears

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Nickie Minaj is considered the greatest role model alive for children and was originally designed as a secret black version of Barbie. Originally planned as an alternative to armor thanks to her abnormal yet very large figure, some kind of "rapper" decided to shift focus of Minaj towards a younger target audience that might even include the current reader. While a select few critics have described her music as rap, most place it right in the middle of the genre known as noise.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nicki_Minaj

 

 

Stephanie Lynn "Stevie" Nicks (born May 26, 1948) is an American singer-songwriter, best known for being the lead singer of rock band Fleetwood Mac. Some regard her as a beautiful witch with an amazing voice who was brought down to earth by musical angels with pixies and fairy dust…others say she’s just a goat. If you listen very closely you can hear the sound of “bahing”- or whatever the hell goats sounds like, in between the versus and chorus of most of her songs.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Stevie_Nicks

 

Janet Floppita Ho Jackson (born May 16, 1966) is an American recording artist and is officially the most talented girl member of the Jackson family according to the Fortune magazine. Thanks to family connections, her father abuses and her nipples she made it big into the music business, not without first releasing 2 flop albums that their fans always try to hide and attribute to Latoya Jackson.

Janet rose to fame by releasing her Shocking Good album "I Want Control (Give It To Me)" Wich was the only Janet album not to debut on top the US Charts infact it was so painfully good it wasn't allowed to debut on the charts there was another chart made just for this album called the "Billboard 200".

Janet is known as well as the fattest black singer after Aretha. She usually get all the fat drained just 1 day before promoting the album but she manages to gain all the fat thanks

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Janet_Jackson

 

 

Gwen Stefani (pronounced Gwen Steph-A-Knee) is a Jewish American songwriter, self-proclaimed black woman, wannabe Japanese cosplay gangster schoolgirl, still-ain't-no-Hollaback girl, and fashion designer who is famous for wearing gigantic shoes. She began singing at age 9, which soon developed into a full-blown Masturbot obsession with the band R.E.M.. This obsession brought forth her desire for a name change and she decided on having a composite name of the most evil things (mostly every artist around) she could think of.

People realised she could sing when she joined the ska band No Doubt but she unfortunately turned chav and started mixing with R&B scum like Pharrell and Akon. It is well known that What You Waiting For was a generally good song but after that, she started releasing trash like Hollaback Girl.

She currently thinks she is a black woman like James Brown's last wife, in what's known as "Justin Timberlake Syndrome". Sometimes, she thinks she's Japanese and was born in Tokyo Disneyland to a poor-but-fashionably-dressed Harajuku prostitute and a rich, 80-year-old businessman named Dickruheadru Stefani. This probably explains why Gwen Stefani dresses like an Alice in Wonderland wannabe and carries all those 'Harajuku' girls around that are born and raised in Korea.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Gwen_Stefani

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Katheryn Prudence Hudson (born October 25, 1984), better known by her stage name Katy Perry, is an American singer with some songwriting credits and perfect tits. Hudson was raised by fundamentalist Christians and grew up listening to only gospel music and reading only the Bible and Chick tracts as a child. After dropping out of high school at age fourteen, she began to pursue a career as a gospel singer, but ultimately failed due to the fact that people only want to hear gospel music sung by morbidly obese African-American women.

After striking a deal for a recording contract, Hudson renamed herself "Katy Perry" and launched a new career that could best be described as a combination between pop musician and adult film actress. She rose to fame with her second single "I Kissed a Girl" and the mind-blowingly mediocre follow-up, "California Gurls."

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Katy_Perry

 

 

Robin "Bird" Rihanna Fenty (born February 20, 1988), better known as simply Rihanna, is a Barbadian R&B and pop recording artist best known for her over 70 number one songs, and also for getting the shit beaten out of her by her super hyperactive dancing boyfriend.

Facially resembling a giant, startled Easter Egg, Rihanna is singlehandedly responsible for irritating the fuck out of every person in the entire world with her single "Umbrella". It's so irritating that whenever or wherever anybody hears the intro, an over bearing rage takes over to destroy the object of which the song is playing on. The song temporarily became a pop culture sensation among chavs and teen mothers everywhere.

Rihanna is also responsible for having the most copied sex positions from 1988-present.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Rihanna

 

 

 

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter (born September 4 1981) is a seventeen-time Grammy Award-winning American R&B singer, songwriter, record producer, Golden Globe Award-nominated actress, dancer, and fashion designer and weave model for House of Deréon. However, this article is not about her. Apologies go out to all of those that may have searched for information on Miss Knowles on this site and came up without relevant results, as this article is not about her.

 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Article_not_about_Beyonce

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Shakira Isabel Mebarak Ripoll, more popularly known as Shakes the Clown (not to be confused with Shaquille O'Neil), is a Latina-Lebanese-Spanish-Catalan-American-Russian-Borg-Madonna-...Colombian? singer from Tromsø. Her style is known as "Latin pop," because she sings primarily in Latin and pops bubble gum right before she devours her live audiences.

 

mad7  mad7

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