About Jupiter Project
Things have been steadily shining bright for rising indie R&B duo, Jupiter Project. The boys from down-under have recently hit charting success with their latest single 'With You' and are ready to make an international statement with the release of their eagerly anticipated album.
Gavin Correia and Marty Rich; otherwise known as Jupiter Project, aren’t new to the scene in their native New Zealand, where they have played major international festivals such as Rhythm and Vines and also shared stages with the likes of Flume and Will.I.Am. The duo are also known as one of New Zealand’s most prolific song-writers and have recently penned a number of top 10 hits back home.
Their unique blend of lo-fi R&B vocals and diverse instrumentation has drawn comparison to a range of international artists, from Phoenix to Drake. After listening to their new records, it becomes clear why culture icons like Adidas, Hypebeast and Grammy.com have come on board to support the boys.
About Sweet Disguise
Their brand new single is called “Sweet Disguise” and it’s a great electronic piece and with a sick beat making it a real radio-ready anthem. It arrives after the success achieved with their latest shot “With You“. The official music video directed by Eddy Fifield was premiered exclusively on Idolator on November 16th. It includes the guest appearance of Australian actress Christina Macpherson.
Both tracks are expected to be included on their anticipated debut studio album, which will be released in the first quarter of 2016 via LTPS and Warner Music. “Sweet Disguise” was released on digital retailers on September 28th.
So, it's time to start my first Blog Entry and I decided to bother you guys with one of biggest passions; DISNEY !
I once already started a (flop) thread about Disney Tsum Tsum, and I don't expect this one to work either, but I'm just curious to see, if maybe you guys can help me choose.
January 5th I'm going to make my very first Disney Tsum Tsum order, but I'm having trouble picking.. They're all so cute to me, so I'm gonna open a Poll to see which ones you guys would pick.
- Donald & Daisy Duck (Valentine's Day Chocolate Box)
- Piglet & Pooh (Valentine's Day Chocolate Box)
Here's what they look like!
Which ones would you choose?
Since I'm new what a better way to start of this blog by posting my EOY of 2015, this way you can get a sense of who I stan for. Call me lazy but I will be copying and pasting from my last.fm profile and not in the form of a detailed countdown. The reason for this is that most of you will probably think 99% of my chart entries are irrelevant and also I'll just over think the layout and spend ages actually making it.
I have tried to make my last.fm data as acuate as possible, even went to the extreme of manually adding songs that I've missed. Having said this I don't know the cut off point is on last.fm so this can be hours out of date. I will be posting my top 40 artists, albums and songs so hopefully by posting this some people will find new music that they'll like.
Hi. Nice to meet you. My name is Jenna, a female trainer. I just moved to Littleroot Town in the Hoenn region of Pokemon. After arriving, I went and introduced myself to my neighbour. A sexist twat of a boy. His name was Brendan or something; the son of some professor in the area. I'll be having words with him about his son's sexist attitude when I meet him. Offering to catch me a Pokemon coz I'm a girl and can't manage it myself. Well fuck you too. Swiftly after, and without wasting a moment, I left that dump, and went out into the wild. Route 101, I believe. I heard a scream. Some little girl must be in danger... oh wait no it was some grown up man. He was getting chased by some little dog Pokemon; a Poochyena I think they're called. Man up bruh.
Not long after, the man saw me and asked me to help him. He said he would give me a Pokemon if I did, and I could take whichever one I wanted from his basket. This was my time. I was finally going to get a Treecko! I ran over to his basket and inside were 3 Poke Balls. You would think he'd label these fucking things wouldn't you? I chose the middle one because why not tbh. Shouting like a lunatic, I threw the pokeball which collided with the man's forehead. It fell to the ground and opened. My Pokemon emerged. Wait. That's not treecko. What the fuck? It's some stupid chicken. I told her to use Absorb. She did nothing. What the fuck is wrong this chicken? The man told me the chicken was a fire type Pokemon and could only use Scratch, Growl and Ember. This is fucking stupid, this is. Oh well, roast chicken use Ember. The Poochyena ran away like a little bitch. Yeah, I won!
I then followed the man back into Littleroot Town. It turns out he was the Pokemon professor. That also means he was the father of that sexist idiot. It turns out his father isn't actually so bad. He thanked me for rescuing him, and then told me to keep the chicken. He said her name was Torchic. Fuck this, I don't want a Torchic. I WANT A TREECKO! He then said he wanted to apologise for his son's behaviour, so asked if I would go to Route 103 to haul him back. Why not? I thought, maybe he'll give me the treecko if I do that. And so my journey began.
I once again left Littleroot Town, in search of this idiot boy. Passing through Route 101, I encountered a wild Wurmple [NB: this encounter is scripted so regardless of what happens, this will always be the first encounter]. Hey, I guess my fire chicken will come in handy. I threw its Poke Ball and told it to burn the bug. Another insect trampled. Not long after, I arrived in Oldale Town. Which way to the club? Suddenly a man walks towards me. This must be the welcoming committee. He gives me 10 potions for free and tells me to visit the Pokemon Center and the Poke Mart. Eh, I'll think about it later. Ditching!
After what felt like 10 hours (but was probably 10 minutes), I arrived in Route 103. There were some ledges in the way so I had to run through the long grass. I encountered a Purrloin. What an interesting Pokemon. I told KFC to attack with ember. But that pussy was fast. It scratched at my chicken's wing. Suddenly I noticed something, my KFC had the ability Speed Boost. I told KFC to attack once again. This time, she out-sped the kitty and roasted her. I decided this would be a good time to return to Oldale Town. I healed my chicken in the Pokemon Center, and took a stop by the Mart. They said their Poke Ball supplier was delayed and would only arrive later this afternoon. I hope I don't run into any Water-Type Pokemon soon.
Returning to Route 103, I made my way up to that kid. Do you know what he said? As soon as I approached him, he mocked me and said he was surprised I even made it this far. This absolute bitch. I'll show him. We agreed on having a Pokemon battle. He said he would go easy on me, and I told him to shove it. "Go chicken" I shouted. Torchic burst out from her Poke Ball ready to use the boy as a scratching post. Suddenly, we saw this blue thing emerging from the other side of the field. Oh, great! a Water-type Pokemon! Torchic tried her best but ended up getting absolutely wrecked by this water fish thing that kept spamming Water Gun. [NB: Drayano hack. He made Brendan's starter level 6 and gave it the STAB move. You have to grind to beat him.] I gave up and told Torchic to return. The boy said he would wait there and I could challenge him and lose any time I felt ready. Oh it was ON!
After healing Torchic in Oldale Town, I realised we had to do some training. This kid was cheating by having a type advantage but I was gonna show him who the weakling was! I went back up to Route 103 and decided to find some wild Pokemon, and beat them to a pulp. Along the way, I encountered Fletchling, Bunnelby, Bellsprout, Hoothoot, and Spearow. Torchic gained some experience and learned a new move; Sand Attack. I then encountered another water type; Shellos. Torchic had little health left, but this was a good test of strength. Even blinded by Mud-Slap, my little chicken clawed her way to victory, and learnt the move Peck in the process. I was so proud of her.
Now, we were ready. I returned to the boy's side and challenged him to another battle. He wasn't prepared for me this time. My strategy was simple. I'll use Sand Attack on the Mudkip and when it can't attack, I'll peck it till it faints. Simple and effective. It all started so well. Torchic used Sand Attack causing Mudkip to miss his Water Gun. After three sand attacks, I was ready to move to the offensive... or would have been if the Mudkip didn't start growling at my little chicken. We had to find a new plan, so we settled on range attacks with Ember. It was a difficult battle. Mudkip eventually gained a torrent boost and was able to hit Torchic with a Water Gun, but my little baby held on. Torchic finished the battle with one final Ember. I had won! Yeah fuck you too bitch.
After gloating and lecturing the kid, I told him that his father needed to see him. We returned to the lab together. (Well actually he ran ahead of me, but I liked to think he learned his lesson). As I return to the lab on my own, I see the professor and the kid. The kid looked upset and I knew he got punished. The professor then told me he had a gift for me. He said if I wanted a different starter, I could have one. I really did want a Treecko but I just couldn't do it. I'd grown so attached to my little Torchic that I just wouldn't let her go. Instead, the professor told me to take the Pokedex he had conveniently placed on his desk. I thought he'd maybe taken it away from his son, but alas, no, he ordered it for himself. Oh well. The kid re-introduced himself as Brendan and apologised to me directly, giving me some Poke Balls as a sort of parting gift. Obviously, being a classy girl I accepted them, turned around and left without a word.
My journey was about to begin, I said goodbye to my mother; knowing full well if I didn't she'd call me every two seconds of the day. She told me I could always come home, and I said that wasn't necessary. Afterwards, I was excited to catch my first Pokemon! (well, not including my darling Torchic). As I was about to enter a patch of long grass, Brendan came running up to me. What did this kid want now? He said he didn't think I accepted his apology (well, at least he's not as dumb as he looks), and that he wanted to install the DexNav function on my PokeNav. I reluctantly accepted when he said it would help me find rare Pokemon. He then showed me how to work it. We crept up on the tail of a Pokemon and suddenly, my first Pokemon had appeared!
A Poochyena? A fucking Poochyena? Are you serious? RARE POKEMON? My ass! Without too much of an effort, I was able to catch it. Brendan and I then split our separate ways as he said he would see me again. That's one promise I'm sure he would keep... unfortunately. I decided to stay about in Route 101 and see if there were any actual rare Pokemon about. Obviously, to no avail. I found another Poochyena. Wanting to see if this 'rare' Poochyena was any use whatsoever, I told it to attack. I was shocked by what just happened. It used ICE FANG? Well now, that was exciting. I used the Pokedex and found out that Poochyena doesn't usually learn that move, but that it was an egg move. Very interesting. This could come in handy then. It wasn't long until the opposing Poochyena had run away.
Wanting to see what other Pokemon lay in wait in Route 101, I ran around in the long grass battling whatever I could find. My encounters included Caterpie, Lillipup, Pidgey (all of which I caught), Zigzagoon and Starly. I was about to give up on hope. As I approached the exit for Oldale Town, I found one more Pokemon. It was a ZORUA! WHAT? I was so catching that! I had the Poochyena use Ice Fang and then threw a Poke Ball at the Zorua, catching it within 3 shakes of the ball. I was overwhelmed with joy and went back on my travels. Arriving in Oldale Town, I healed my team and then deposited all my Pokemon into the computer, keeping only Torchic and Zorua.
It was time to continue my journey. I embarked onto Route 102 where I would encounter some new wild Pokemon. These included Rattata, Surskit, Lotad, Seedot, Ralts, Houndoor, Sentret and Tympole. After fighting against all of these, Zorua finally gained some experience and learned the move Feint Attack. I was finally ready to take on some trainers. First up was Youngster Calvin who was training Zigzagoon, Pidove and Bunnelby. My Zorua was able to pierce through all of his defenses with his newly acquired Feint Attack. My next enemy was a Bug Catcher, who used Wurmple. Unfortunately this Wurmple decided it would be a nice gesture to poison my Zorua with Poison Sting. No matter. After some excavating, I found a berry plant which contained some Oran and Pecha Berries... yeah this would have come in handy like five minutes ago! Finally as I approached the next town, I was challenged by Lass Tiana. She sent out this grass / flying Pokemon known as Hoppip. It was easy to beat but it was so adorable, I just had to have one. I spent the next 10 minutes of my journey looking in the route for a Hoppip, only to realise it didn't appear on the DexNav as a silhouette so was evidently not in this area. [NB: After checking the documents, it seems Hoppip can be found in Route 101. I've already moved forward so I'm not going back just to get it. I have my eyes on another grass type for next episode anyway.]
FINALLY! I had arrived in Petalburg City, and was about to meet my father for the first time in god knows however many years. As I arrived as the gym, we shared a hug for a few seconds until some little boy wandered in. Dad... is there something you'd like to explain? Apparently, I was jumping to conclusions (I do that a lot, huh?) and this boy was simply wanting help to catch a Pokemon. My dad loaned him a Zigzagoon to help him catch a Pokemon and told me to go with the boy. Who does he think he is? My father? Oh wait. Eh, well I guess it couldn't hurt. I went with the young boy, who called himself Wally. This lucky bugger found himself a Ralts on his first try. That's it! He can join me anytime if he gives me some of that encounter luck! He was also able to catch the Pokemon on his first try. I bode Wally farewell and returned to the gym with Zigzagoon. I challenged my father but he declined, saying I was not strong enough since he heard I got beat by Brendan once (fuck, who told him that. MOM!!!) He then told me to go to Rustboro City first and take on Roxanne, the gym leader there. Then after I received four badges, I could challenge him. So high-maintenance! I returned back to the Pokemon Center and slept there for the night. He wouldn't even let me sleep in the gym. What an ass!
- Level 13 - Scratch, Leer, Extrasensory, Feint Attack
- Level 13 - Scratch, Peck, Ember, Sand Attack
Welcome to My Top Ten Water-Type Pokemon countdown. This blog will also features various types of countdowns (searchable by the countdown tag) in addition to the Who's That Pokemon series. It will continue other series in due time, with one coming later this afternoon. This series will feature my top five, top ten, or top twenty (or top anything really) of anything Pokemon. My opinions on various Pokemon subjects do change extremely often so my #1 today might not be my #1 tomorrow. With that in mind, today's countdown will be Water-Type Pokemon. Everyone who knows me knows that Water is my favorite Pokemon type (although my favorite Pokemon isn't a water type). They're so majestic and beautiful. So let's crack on with #10:
Dewgong is a Water / Ice Pokemon (and not the only one on this list either). It featured in Lorelei's initial Ice-type Elite Four team. Truth be told, I've never used a Dewgong because there has always been a better alternative, but I actually want to use one soon. Maybe in a future playthrough (#hint #hint). Dewgong looks so beautiful and clean. Beauty seems to be a big factor on this list actually...
Probably the most overrated Gen III Pokemon to ever exist. It's an absolute stunner but if I'm honest, it's just lacking. I don't play competitively. My in-game teams never see a use for "bulky Pokemon"; I always hit hard and fast. For that reason, Milotic is almost irrelevant. It's on this list because it's one of my favorite Water-types, but it struggles to go higher because of its lack of use in game. GameFreak need to serve that Water / Fairy mega evolution (perhaps with Pokemon Z, which seems to be the Anti of the Pokemon world).
Another Pokemon that suffers from the curse of in-game playthroughs. It has good stats overall, and while any Pokemon (within reason) can smash in a game like X and Y, or Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire, it still restricts my use of Kingdra; especially when they appear so late in game, and there are usually stronger alternatives. Yeah, Kingdra's dragon dance makes it powerful and Swift Swim increases it's speed, but who has time to set up Rain Dance and Dragon Dance in every single in-game battle? Certainly not me. Kingdra is an adorable Pokemon design though, and a highlight of Generation II. Fuck you Clair.
Another Gen II Pokemon appears here. The first legendary to appear on this list, and the box legendary of Pokemon Crystal. Every aspect of Suicune is wonderful. It's design is just so beautiful. It's majestic. The ribbons just add a lovely touch to the final design too. It's great to see a 4-legged Pokemon like Suicune be represented in Pokken Tournament. Water types can fight too, you know. Even as a legendary, Suicune suffers in this non-competitive list like Milotic and Kingdra as it's more suited for defensive (aka weak bitches only) play.
One of my absolute favorite designs from Generation VI, and actually within the last three or four generations too. I knew everyone was talking shit when they said the Froakie evolution would be Water / Fighting. It was the most obvious dark type since ever. It's a Ninja! I'm really glad it was Dark after all since I despise the majority of Fighting types. Greninja has an amazing design (as opposed to his prevolutions which are slightly terrible). His stats and moveset make him an amazing starter Pokemon and perfect partner for the Kalos region (albeit not being my favorite Kalos starter either though). A great Pokemon design.
Probably one of the most iconic Water-Type Pokemon of all time. Gyarados was THE Pokemon back in the good old days. I'm glad it received a mega evolution in Gen VI because frankly it deserved one. But wait... Water and DARK? The actual fuck? Everyone and their grandmother knows that Gyarados should be Dragon type. I hope we get a Mega-Gyarados Y or something. Maybe even make it more special orientated (or include an ability which increases the power of "beam" moves for say Hyper Beam and Ice Beam). Regardless, Gyarados is one iconic mothafucker and will always hold a special place in my rankings. There's some tough competition about but Gyarados snatches a top five spot!
The other Water-Type legendary Pokemon to make it onto this list, and the highest non genwunner Pokemon too. Kyogre has always been one of my favorite Pokemon; water type or not. Easily the best Gen III legendary (even if I traded away my original Sapphire for a Yugioh game when I was a kid). The struggle to catch this bitch was insane in Emerald. It's a shame Groudon got the better primal ability rendering Kyogre relatively useless. Groudon may have the better primal ability, but when will he ever have the acclaim and fans that the real Gen III legendary (Rayquaza? I don't know ha) does.
The other Water / Ice Pokemon to grace this list. Lapras is used as a method of transportation for trainers wishing to cross the seas. They even took advantage of this in Pokemon X and Y, giving it away to trainers (similar to the Gen 1 games) and including a special sprite for it while surfing. It's a shame it hasn't got a mega evolution... yet. I feel like they're saving it for Z (and if there isn't one in Z, I will be extremely disappointed). Lapras does have the issues in-game where its bulk outweighs its power, but this is the one exception on the list. I adore Lapras and it's in my top five Pokemon of all time. A flawless design and adorable Pokemon from head to... shell? Lapras will always be on my team if available. (In fact, it was on my first X and Y team).
Of course an eeveelution is going to appear on this list. Vaporeon is my favorite Gen I eeveelution, and is my 2nd favorite overall eeveelution, and 2nd favorite Water-type Pokemon too. Another bulky pokemon due to its HP stat, but it's definitely not slacking in attack power, with 110 base stat in Special Attack. It's move pool is a bit lacking and I do wish it would be changed at some point, but it's clearly to stop certain eeveelutions becoming too powerful. Vaporeon is already rather well-used in game and competitively too. I mean what else do you really need? Surf, Ice Beam, Shadow Ball and Hyper Beam is usually my in-game moveset for Vaporeon.
This surely wasn't too much of a surprise for anyone, considering my love for Kween Misty. Starmie, my #1 favorite water-type Pokemon, is a Water and Psychic type; the best of both worlds really. Starmie has always provided me with reliable in-game success, and has always been a powerplayer in the competitive field as well. That's just how the kween of water type Pokemon rolls. It also housed my favorite Pokemon attack ever; Bubblebeam. Another ode to Misty's flawlessness. My in-game Starmie will never let me down; serving Surf, Thunderbolt, Ice Beam and Psychic. I even caught a shiny Staryu in ORAS which I evolved (after cloning) into a shiny Starmie. The true kween.
Welcome to Who's That Pokemon! This particular series features discussions about various pokemon; their stats, their design, just anything, in depth. So let's begin;
Fearow. The "Beak Pokemon" and the evolved form of Spearow. A normal / flying type Pokemon and the second (and irrelevant) regional bird from Kanto. Let me be honest and say that I have never used a Fearow, nor am I planning on using one in any gameplay anytime soon (except in a nuzlocke if I find one and then it can be used as death fodder). Fearow's stats aren't up to much, and its movepool is no better. It's a shame it can't learn Acrobatics. The reason this Pokemon is my first in the series is because it's national dex number is the same as this blog's ID number (22). I found a shiny Fearow once in Platinum (which may or may not been hacked, I don't remember) and killed it, so Fearow doesn't really have the best luck. Fearow's biggest anime appearance comes as a Spearow where it attacks Ash in the first episode. It later returns when evolved and fights against Ash's Pidgeot (and loses). A metaphor of Fearow's existence, really.
I really had a hard time coming back from the heartbreak. This guy had given me so much, everything I was looking for. He was a musician, playing in quite a big band (they are literally growing in popularity and fame in Europe as we speak), was a secret Mariah and Whitney fan (which I am now too, thanks to him...), was the only other person that stanned for the tv-show The Leftovers and was just beautiful. Why did it go wrong? Why did it happen to me at this moment? As of today I still cannot let it go. I kind of have a feeling I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life. He was The One That Got Away.
The rest of the month October I tried everything to forget about it. A week after the breakup I got myself a new date. Everyone around me, including myself, thought it was a really stupid idea, but I had to do something to get over the guy. This date I knew from before and I basically knew it was nothing. I came to realisation soon enough when we meeted. He was incredibly tall and was kind of the bitch type. And guess what? it was a really stupid thing to do, because this guy showed me why I was so in love with the other one. The september guy was a little bit shorter than me, which made him cute and was basically one of the sweetest guys I had ever met. Even though the breakup was hard and uneasy, I knew he had a hard time with it too and tried everything from breaking my heart. This date was a complete disaster and I told him the truth after it.
In November I got the feeling I was losing the feelings from the september guy. I still felt it, since everyone in my surroundings knew how I felt about this guy, so everyone knew I was having a hard time. But things started to fade away. Halfway through the month a new guy came across me through the dating website for Gays in The Netherlands. I felt awful being on there, until this guy. He was really nice, made a lot of jokes with me and was just a nice guy to talk to. It was the exact kind of thing I needed at that moment. We decided to go on a date. We drank some. It was a nice evening. He was cute. The next date we decided to have some dinner. Again. It was cute and nice. The moment we said goodbye I did my thing. I kissed him. Let me give you a reminder: this was the first time I kissed a guy by myself, with my own intention. When I walked away I had to think about The Perks Of Being a Wallflower. I felt infinite.
Since you already know how things go with me this doesn't come as a surprise. We decided to go on another date, but I got the feeling he wasn't that much up for it. He then told me he thought I was a really nice guy, but he had the feeling I thought of him different then how he thought of me, just a nice guy. We decided we let the third date go.
As of this moment I was used to the rejection, but after September, this was my deepest low. I can still remember I messaged all my friends saying "That's it. I don't believe in it anymore. I guess I am too ugly, too plain, just not sexy, not funny, not cute, there is something. So it's now time for you to tell me what it is. Because if they see it, you see it too". I was done. I was exhausted. I tried and tried and tried, but everytime I get to the point I like them, but they never like me back. Ofcourse my friends said there was nothing wrong with me and said "you will find it eventually" or "you are only 21". Normally these things got me back up, but the last part of November I was at my deepest low. I was off to a depression. Everyone finds love, but it looks like I will be the one getting left behind.
December 2015 (The Last Month, The Last Chance)
And then it came up to this month. December. The last chance. I had given up all my hope. And I was done with it, but still. There is always a little hope. I started the apps up again and I got some new matches. 2 which I really liked. One of them told me already got a guy he was dating, otherwise he would have definitely given me chance. Fun fact: we are seeing each other, but as friends. I may have not found love, but it has given me a really great new friend.
The other one, was up for a date. He looked perfect, sounded perfect, but hey, I am not going to let myself get to this anymore. Keep it slow, don't expect much. He worked at a movie theater and decided I would pick him up from his work and then we would have a dinner and a drink somewhere. I can still remember he sent me "You know what, I am very happy you started talkling to me. I am not the kind of person who steps up on people asking them to go on a date. I'm shy like that." I thought it was so sweet and cute. We had the most amazing date, it came up on par with the September guy. At the train station I asked him what he thought, if he thought there was a second date possible. He then gave me a little kiss, saying 'I thought a kiss would give the right idea about what I think of a second date". I stepped on the train, smiling from ear to ear. WAIT! Don't. It can go wrong tomorrow. It will go wrong. Don't expect it to happen in the last month. Are you stupid? Yes. I am stupid. I expected it to happen in the last month.
When I came home we talked for 3 hours straight through messages and planned a second date. It was 1,5 week away, but he was very busy with work and school, it was hard but it had to be that way. And, he was worth the wait. We talked everyday, he even talked with me during work. Until after the party he had at work. The talking started to get less and less. I knew it was coming. The turning point I had with every date. I knew it was coming.
1,5 week later. I told him I was very excited for the date. I waited so long. And then I got a message. A very big message. The kind of message that even though you haven't read it, you already know what could have be in it. I decided to translate it all and put it on here:
"Awh. I also like we meet again...although I must say that on the party with work last thursday i kissed with a collegue. I fancied him for a while now, but it never came upon something. As of this moment we decided to start dating and meet again. So I do like meeting with you again today, but basically with some other intentions then last time. I really hate saying this, but I want to be honest with you, we talked about that last time. I didn't wanted to hide it for you, I wanted to talk about it tonight, but since you said this to me I thought I had to say it now."
I waited 1,5 week. The party where he kissed was 2 days after our first date. 1 week before the second. He waited 1 week to tell me this. He let me wait and then say it 2 hours before the official second date. I was angry. I was sad. This. This was almost more terrible than the breakup. This was pure cruelty.
In the last month of the year I was suppose to find my one. I was pushed away. Again.
He told me he wanted to stay friends, which I tried in the beginning, but I just couldn't live with what he had done to me. He gave me the feeling it was going to be fine with the kiss. He knew I was anxious about dates. And then this happens. This guy probably hit me the most with his words.
December 30th 2015
And now we are here. I am at the exact same point I was last year. My friends beg me to differ. "But you had dates this year, you kissed guys, you has sex." Yeah i did all of that, what did it give me? Heartbreaks, depression, no hope.
I am not sure if I will make another wish tomorrow. As of now I know these won't come true. They are pointless, they are make believe. You just cling onto them hoping it will come true. But they won't.
I started this blog, because I wanted to know if this happened to more people. And then I'm not talking about heartbreaks and everything, because I know everyone has those. But for me, it hasn't gone right still. I am 21 and I never even had a relatonship (with a guy though). What is the problem with me that everytime it starts amazing it ends bad?
For 2016 I am going to keep up with this blog and I truly, truly hope. That one day I can write the best blog of them all, telling you I have found him.
But thinking really honest and true about it, I am not sure if it will happen in 2016, looking at my history of 2015.
Should I make a new wish again?
Rey SHOULD be a FOTP fave!
Just saw SWVII with fam on Christmas day, the movie lived up to it's hype, I'm in tears.
Gender roles have changed so much over the years, having a female lead as their new franchise and a male as the love interest(sorta), asdfgjkl$%^^&
this is all too much. Talent won again.
This trilogy will destroy lives and faves, u all aint ready.
Korra, ha impact!
Today, I did something that I've been wanting to do for a long long time. I deleted my social media accounts. All of them. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Askfm, Snapchat, Whatsapp you name it. The reason is, I was holding on too much to my past. I finished High School almost a year ago, and since then my online social life hadn't been active that much, but still I held on to everything so dearly, every post that I made, ever status that I posted, every picture I uploaded, all those likes and comments. Even though nobody really cared. I did. Cause I felt that's all I had. And then I realized how pathetic I was...to obsess over that pic I uploaded 2 years ago that got 200 likes.. I felt really held back. Like a hoarder from one of those TLC shows. I asked my friends, almost all of them said "Oh noo they're memories..". But they weren't. They just reminded me of my troubled past. They reminded me of my back-stabbing ex "best friends", who I surprisingly was still friends with on Facebook. But most important they reminded me of who I was back then. This messed up teenage boy caught in everybody's drama, trying to be funny to get attention, yea I was basically a slut, I loveeedd attention and I would've done anything to get it back then. Not for the wrong reasons ofcourse, obviously this stems from deep rooted issues which would take years to discuss. But I'm working on it. I'm getting to know myself better as each day passes. And I can't continue if I have reminders around of the person I was. I wanna be limitless. I don't want anything holding me back from doing anything or being anything I want. I wanna live a life where the only thing that I hold dear is my happiness, and not at the expense of others.
About a week ago I read something that struck me "Poor is the man whose pleasure depend on the permission of another." - Madonna Its basically everything I've ever wanted to know.
Thanks for reading.
After the things happening in July I had to cool it down for a moment. This month was me recovering what happened. I just did some things with friends. Got my mind off the whole 'love' thing. At the end of the month I started Tinder again. I got a couple of matches. 1 of which I had in the beginning of the year too. We lost contact, but we were a match again. He told me he just broke up with his ex, which he met on Tinder, the same time we were talking on the app too. After the most cute conversations we had we decided to drink something together. In the beginning of September.
Even though July 2015 was probably the month with the worst things happening to me, September 2015 is the most painful, thanks to the memories. Me and this boy had our first date at a cocktail bar. It was completely empty and we were the only ones there. We had this amazing conversation and most of all: he was perfect. Like literally, looks, personality. He was everything to me. At one moment he swifs himself closer to me saying "I'm going to sit a little closer to you now, alright?" It sounds so stupid, but the way he said it was so cute. I mean, I immediatly knew what was coming. And this time I was ready. We kissed. For a such a long time. You know that feeling that you get kissing someone and it feels like you are the only people on the world? Well, it helped we were the only one in the cocktailbar. After kissing for an half hour he asked me to come home with him. He lives 5 minutes away. I did it. At his home we kissed some more. Just kissed. It felt so amazing. It was so amazing I didn't wanted to leave, but I did, because we both had school early that next morning.
The next day, in love like I was already, we decided to meet again. This time just at his home, watching some movies. I can still remember he sent me: "Pick some movies. But don't make them hard to understand, I know I will be distracted enough." Did he really say that? Was he going to be distracted by me? I noticed. This time I was in love. With the July guy it was because it was my first time, but this time I really felt something different inside of me. I went to his house, but when Limitless (you know that quite okay movie with Bradley Cooper) was only 5 minutes in we were already kisisng like crazy. At one point we even just left the movie for what it was and we did some "other" stuff too. Just some jerk and blow... I felt so amazing in that moment. I felt like I was worth something.
In next couple of weeks we stayed like this. With me getting more and more in love. We did some more meetings in the cocktailbar (it became sort of our place) and we went to a musical together. After that musical we went to his home again. This time to have some official sex. And this time I had to do some new stuff again, since he was taking it. I was literally terrible, but he was so sweet about it. We were both the second person we had sex with, so we had that connection that we both understood each other.
Everything felt right, until after the second time we had sex on another night. Something terrible happened. I said some words that you don't need to say that quick. I said. "I love you"
I knew it was bad when he didn't seem to react on it.
We had a new date planned. Just at his home again. Watching movies. But when the date came upon, he said he had some serious family business. It was kind of awkward, because we didn't talk for a whole week and I was so looking forward to the date. He then said the next day was possible too, so I became happy again. Only a day waiting. What could go wrong?
Well, the next day I came into his house. We talked such a nice conversation for 1 hour. Then I kissed him and asked if anything was wrong. We didn't talk for a whole week, what was the reason for that? He said there was nothing wrong. Until I asked him again.
"Well...maybe there is something"
I can still remember the feeling. My guts. I was literally about the throw up. Even though I was ready for something bad, I was expecting it since we didn't talk for a whole week and that didn't happen before, I wasn't ready.
"It's about you saying I love you to me. It made me realize you are into this different than I am. You want a relationship. I'm just out of one. I have to be honest, in the beginning I thought I was ready and you were perfect, but as of now. I think I need time. I am not ready yet."
I can still remember I was silent. Silent for more than a minute. What was happening?
"So...we are over?"
"I guess so"
The man that I literally thought was my 'one'. The one I was supposed to find in 2015 just told me he didn't want to continue with me. What we had was great. For me. For him, it wasn't enough.
I can still remember I laid there in his arms for over half an hour until I decided to go. The moment I was on my bike I called my best friend. The moment she answered I cried my eyes out. The first time she actually heard me cry. I was heartbroken. The first time I ever felt something like that. I felt incredibly sad. One moment you have it all, one moment you are back at the start.
Just when you thought you were over the finish line, you were disqualified.
It was October 2015. My heart got broken, basically for the second time. I was still nowhere knowing what the feeling was of being loved by someone. I loved someone, but was not loved back.
October 2015, only 2 1/5 months left into finding 'the one'
It was that moment my hope declined. I am afraid I am not going to find it this year.
this site is amazing for editing audio files online without downloading anything (except the audio file )
i used it to edit the "duet version" of Telephone by Lady Gaga and Britney Spears i got from @trashmagic in the Circus: Sessions thing because there was a minute of silence at the end so i took that out.
Okay I wanna start by saying that Only Human is definitely not Cheryl's best album. The three singles are some of the best tracks on the album. The album came out in 2014 but it's taken till now to really completely grow on me. I've finally given up on my hopes for it to top or be better than her opus, A Million Lights. Having given that up I've been able to appreciate the album for what it is. I'm not gonna deny though that some songs on the album are just flat out not good. But it is what it is.
Okay so I'm gonna review this album in sections. Starting with what I find to be the best and strongest section of the album, Intro + tracks 1-6.
I quite like the album's intro. The intro is an excerpt from Alan Watts' speech "What If Money Was No Object". I think it was done well on the album. The speech is played over a pretty instrumental piece. Granted I'm not a fan of album's having intro's but I really just consider this to be part of the track that it flows seamlessly into, "Live Life Now". I find Live Life Now to be more of an extension of the Intro as it really isn't a full song. It's basically complete spoken word over a pulsating beat. It doesn't really have a true chorus either. That being said if it is treated as the intro to album then I think it works to a degree. Moving onto "It's About Time". This is a song I hated initially but has really grown on me immensely. It may not be anything groundbreaking but it's a fun track, one of the better one's on the album. It is follow by the album's lead single "Crazy Stupid Love". I still think this is an amazing song. It's such a bop. Even the tacky horns. It's just infectious. Even Tinie's verse slays. "Kissed her twice now she say I'm Mr. Right / She had my D now she dickmatised". It's one of those lines that is so cringeworthy it slays. "Waiting For Lightning" is the next track. I feel this song is really slept on. It's one of my personal favorites on the album and definitely one of the best. Idk why but I always think this is the Sia track on the album which is actually not the case. I like how the chorus starts mellow before letting loose. The album's second single "I Don't Care" is next. I hated this song when it was first released. I have no idea why looking back. It's such a bop. The caribbean vibes in the instrumental are great. It's a total hands in the air, carefree bop. It is followed by the title track. I really have a thing for title tracks. They're basically the first thing my eye is drawn to when I get a new album. If an artist is gonna include a title track it better be real fucking good. In the case of "Only Human" I think Cheryl did a great job. It's an amazing song. It's simple and beautiful. I like the use of the vocal effects and feel they go with the mood/style she was trying to create. I do think they could have been toned down just a tad. Great song nonetheless.
Okay so now that the strongest section of the album is done it's time to review the remaining 11 songs. I write as much about each one as most don't deserve it.
"Stars" is not the song you follow up an amazing song like "Only Human" with. It's a cute bop at best. "Throwback" is actually quite good. I just think the concept is so overdone and tired. "All In One Night" is pretty moody and sensual. I wish the vocals were little more prominent at times because they kinda get lost in the music. One of the better songs on the album. I consider these three songs to be the second tier of the album. You have the opening six tracks which I consider to be the best. Then these next three which would be second best. The album really gets iffy from now on.
"Goodbye Means Hello" is a song I had high hopes for as Nicola Roberts has a writing credit on it. However it's just so boring. Idk if it's her songwriting on it, Cheryl's delivery or a combination of both but it's just flat. "Coming Up For Air" was a song I remember some people loving when the album dropped and others hated. I never liked it and still don't. Cheryl tries way too hard to get a sexual vibe and it's quite apparent. The breathiness doesn't really work imo. The sensualness worked imo on "All In One Night" but fails here. Next comes "Fight On". It's your average motivational pop tune. Another super tired concept. Not a bad song, just doesn't feel fresh.
"Yellow Love" is another song with a Nicola Roberts writing credit. I find this song miles better than "Goodbye Means Hello". I think the verses are beautiful. I wish the chorus didn't go down that super motivational route but oh well. One of the better tracks in the second half of the album. And now we get to "Beats N Bass". I LOVE this song. But that doesn't mean it isn't tragic. It's so bad. Like why Cheryl. But it's a song I just can't help but bop to. I was hoping "Tattoo" would be a slow, regret filled number from Cheryl about her tragic ass tattoo but nope. It's the same old 'your love is like a tattoo' that so many artists do. Yawn. Now we're at "Firecracker" which is the actual Sia penned track on the album. I don't think it sounds like a Sia song at all honestly. The song has this weird country twang to it. Cheryl uses a terrible country twang on her voice and it's just bad. Let's move on from this mess. The album closes with "I Won't Break". I like when albums are closed with ballads. I find this one like a lot of songs on the album has a slightly tired concept but it's bearable here. I like this track quite a bit. I think it's a good album closer. Nothing amazing but at least Cheryl closed the album on a good note rather than ending it all with a mess like "Firecracker".
I do think that as a whole the album is underrated. I think it is a HUGE grower. It took so long for much of it to grow on me. I think it definitely has amazing moments though. It may not be as good as A Million Lights. But it's sure as hell miles better than Tragic Little Shitdrops.
the title tho!
I use a few tracks for my holiday playlist, basically December and Wit This Christmas, they're all so good. what even is air?
for an EP not really bad, Ari really spoils her fans, some of the faves should take notes. EDIAH who? lol, jk. Ediah is still great.
what even is this jam?
for me 2011 was the best year ever
I started following Natalia, Jessie and Kelly (but I knew her a year ago)
I had a mini job where I could buy new music
I had bad luck in love but I didn't really cared
The weather was perfect
all in one the year was PERFECT
First of all, let me say this blog is basically me complaining about my own life. Which is basically every blog nowadays, but this specific thing, I need to get it off my chest. I really hope some can relate to my story, if not, that frightens me...
1 year ago. I left the closet. It was the first time I actually realized I was gay. I told my best friends. It felt really awkward and I can still remember I said: "This will never feel normal to me. I hate it and I hate myself. I cannot believe I will ever be able to live with this fact. Goddammit!" Well, I took me a couple of months and then I was completely fine with it.
New Year's Eve. I let up a wishing balloon. I don't believe in such stuff, but hey, it doesn't hurt to try. My wish, well you are actually not supposed to tell, but since it didn't come true: My wish was to find 'the one' in 2015. That was my goal. To find that one person that would make your heart pump more blood in it then ever before. That one person that when you see them you kinda want to throw up. Not because you are sick, but because you are so nervous by seeing them. Yes. It sounds very stupid, but I believe in that stuff. That even though you look sick as fuck, leaking mucus because you are having the flue and there is still this person that loves you in that moment. That it just feels right. I believe in that. So that was my wish.
I was ready to get my wish. I installed all these dating apps. Grindr. Tinder. I made a profile on a big gay website in The Netherlands. It was going to happen! Well, not for at least 6 months. I was doing my internship and therefore was so freaking busy, I couldn't sometimes find the time to get myself to do these apps. I talked to some people, but it never came to some dating. With Tinder, I had such little matches, it kinda freaked me out. I was feeling better and better about being gay. Accepting it. Maybe even loving it, but it seemed like no one was loving me. No one liked me. No one thought I was attractive. Was I actually ugly? Or was I searching too much? The only thing that could give me an answer was a date.
And then it happened. I got a new Tinder match. He was amazing! He didn't really looked THAT attractive, but he was cute. He looked like the exact kind of guy I was needing at that moment. The conversations were amazing. We clicked on so many levels. Almost too good to be true. My first date. It was happening. We went to the cinema together. I can still remember I was so afraid when I walked to him. I saw him standing there in these AWFUL shorts (it was summer and hot, but still!) and suddenly I thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life. Quite the 'tough fellow' I am I continued walking towards him. and he was so nice! We had the most amazing time. After the theater we just walked across the lake and it was just. nice. cute. Couple of hours later he asked me to watch a movie at home with him. That was the moment I stopped. This was my first date. I am not that kind of person. Even though he was amazing and cute. I am just not the kind of person that sleeps with someone right away. I am a virgin. I haven't even kissed with a boy yet. So we said goodbye, swearing however we would meet again.
And we would meet again. The very next day already. We were both having holiday. He invited me to have dinner with him. He wanted to cook for me. How cute! Was this really happening to me? He picked me up from the train station. Showed me his home. And then we were sitting there on his couch. He leaned towards me and he kissed me. WAIT. He gave me a kiss and then he stopped. "Uhm. You kissed before right?" I was so ashamed. "Yes...I did, but only with girls!" Which wasn't a lie. I did have kissed with girls, but, like, 4 years ago. I hadn't kissed for 4 years. and the first time I did again was with a boy. Which was totally new. I took my chance however and showed him I could actually kiss. It was a nice evening. A great movie. And then he asked me to come home again. 'Just for a while'. This time I did. That evening. Big things happend. I gave my first blowjob. I got my first blowjob. No 'official' sex though. He knew he was my first. He probably didn't wanted to ask me. But it was amazing! It was the moment. I. Well. I fell in love.
The next morning. He told me was going on vacation. It kinda hurt me. He was going away for 2 weeks. I had to forget about him for 2 weeks. But, he assured me. I got to text him all the time. He would have loved that. He gave me the feeling it was mutual. Maybe he loved me too. Is that possible? In only more than a half year I completed my wish? Looking back at it, I feel so stupid. How could I have been so blind. On that very specific vacation he slept with over 3 guys. How I know? He just told me when on text. Like it was nothing. I was heartbroken. Is he serious? Was I that blind? I was nothing more to him than someone who he slept with. I told him I was actually in love with him and he said he doesn't really fall in love with boys anymore. He got his heart broken twice. He doesn't wanna go there anymore. Bitch, please.
Even though this was one of the worst things I had ever come across with, I still kept in touch with him. I spoke with a friend and she told me: "Well, why don't you use him just for sex either? I mean, you have no experience? This is your opportunity to get that." I told her that I am just not that kind of person. In this gay world of SEX. I am the one that is out there looking for love. For someone to share my life with. Somehow her words got to me. And by the end of his vacation we set up a new date. A more...exclusive date. He was going to fuck me. At this point in my life I was just so close into getting there, he wanted to do it. Why not? He picked me up at the station again. Got to his home and just did our thing. It hurt, like everyone tells you, but I actually liked it too. The next morning. I was gone. Standing on the station again. I can still remember I felt so sad. So empty. So dirty. What the fuck did I do? As of this point in my life I have never spoke to him anymore. I do have him as a friend on Facebook. Guess what? He has a boyfriend now for 2/3 months already. "I'm not doing love anymore" my ASS stupid motherf*cker!
It was my turning point. Sex dates are a no go for me. It just doesn't work for me. I am not that kind of person, I already knew it before trying it.
From now on I am only going to do dates that will bring me somewhere. Somewhere closer into finding love.
I only got a half year left into finding 'the one', completing my wish.
It was only the beginning...
let me just complain a bit in my first blog entry as you'll repeatedly see me do anyway.
i'll first complain about something vital for my well being, WINTER OR ITS LACK OF in this case.
winter is supposed to be this fucking amazing season, white as the semen coming out of a huge uncut dick. also supposed to be cold like the sweat on your body after he finally cums and gives you 3 anal orgasms.
BUT THEN AGAIN REALITY MIGHT SOMETIMES CONTRADICT YOU.
in Romania there are fucking 14 degrees Celsius. you can go outside wearing some sweater you worn in September and everyone's joking about maybe going to the beach and catching a nice tan. except they might as well just could go and comeback looking like Xtincta after falling asleep in her tan machine.
i feel like this is a truly disgusting phenomenon. on top of it all, one of these days i dressed as any sane person would during winter: a sweater, my jacket and some pants. i got sweaty of course and on top of this tropical heat we're going through there was also WIND. now i'm battling what i think it is a life threatening cold; i can't even breathe through my nose.
i am truly DONE and i feel like the lord's testing me. what's next, jesus? what could possibly happen that's even worse than this living hell? will you let a copy of Confident at my door step then force me to sit through and listen to IT? hit the ON button to my suicide watch then...