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My signatures

My signatures are an integral part of fotp history, and I will list them below. It’s hot outside and sit on my porch, sucking a popsicle. It’s cherry flavor, their favorite flavor was always cherry. I sit and reminisce about the times we spent together. And I don’t feel  sad, because those memories bring me happiness. I finish up my popsicle just as they call me inside, they’re still here with me. But I still think about our memories, so that I’ll nver forgot them when they’re gone. I sometimes wish we lived forever. Just look at world now, Normani is gone, Ally is gone, Dinah is gone, Lauren is gone, and I’m still standing. My name is Camila Cabello, and I want to take you on a journey through the development and creation of my most personal album yet, simply titled M(e)ila. Put your safety goggles on now, this is where the darkness comes to light... _______________________________ I was on various drugs when I chose this username, and now I must suffer the consequence of it. This is not a publicity stunt, I’m actually worried for my mental health. Please if anyone is reading this, please help me. Please buy Charmbracelet on iTunes , you know the shtick. Send me receipt verification, and then I’ll get better. Please, please, please do this for your friendly neighborhood troll, I know you want to see more of me in this upcoming year. Please do this for me and help me, and help him. __________________________________ It was unusually chilly this Halloween night. I had decided to attend one of my towns infamous Halloween party’s that night, and was enthralled. The party was excellent, lots of people had really great costumes and I had gone as a pirate. The party was on the outskirts of my small town a little whiles away in the wood. I had drunkily dozed off in One the tents, and when I had awoken everyone had already gone. I checked my phone and it was around 1am. I only had 3% battery so I had about enough to make one call, I decided to try my local taxi service, Brocka Taxis. My town was very small, and at the time didn’t have Uber or Lift. Luckily, they picked up and said I was lucky I had called as they were doing their last drives of the night. They said the wait would be around 30 minutes so I waited in silence. My phone died shortly after the call, I stood by the street I walked to in the cold. I watched my breath in the freezing air to pass the time. A little time after, I saw the headlights of a car begin to materialize in the distance. I waved my hands and they honked on notice. The slowly pulled up to me and I read the little motto I had come to know. “Brocka Taxis, We’ll never say never!”. I was glad at that time, cause if they could I’d be stranded here. I got in the taxi and was greeted to a rather good looking women in her late 20s. I said hi and introduced myself just to be cordial, she replied back “Hello, I’m Brandy, where are you headed?”. My stomach dropped and I almost gasped. “Excuse me what did you say?”, I questioned nervous. “I said Hi, I’m Brandy, where are you headed?”, she replied with a slight giggle at the end. I saw her shoot me deathly glare in the rear view mirror along with a taunting smile. Desperate, I told her my location, she smiled and what she said next to me stunned me. “Ah, I know where that is, we’ll have to take the freeway though, that sound good?”. She smiled with that again, I shuddered. We sat in silence for minutes, even though they felt like hours, as she awaited my response. I gathered all the courage I had in me and replied, “No, no thank you actually”. She chuckled slightly to herself, and unlocked the doors, I had no idea she had even locked them. I got out and immediately started walking back the other direction, I heard her start to drive along side me and I held my head down. “You have a safe night” she said as she drove on off. I looked up shortly after and the car was gone, not a skid mark or anything just vanished. It was a long dark walk home that night, my only company the Full moon.  __________________________________ My sweet sweet nana loves gays, but gays like me, you see. I’m normal, my nana loves me because I don’t act like a typical gay. One day my nana saw to gays kissing on tv, she turned the channel and whispered a silent prayer to God, “damn them to hell god, and abomination”. I giggled, it’s ok my sweet nana loves gays, gays like me. Another time I recall, my nana was walking to the store and saw to young teen boys holding hands, “Disgusting!” She screamed, the ran out of embarrassment. She told me when she got home, I lightly chucked to myself this time, my sweet nana loves gays, gays like me. One day I was in my room, dancing around to toxic, when my nana barged with laundry, “what the fuck are you doing! Come pray with me now!”, i was embarrassed,  but I was acting weird. So we prayed, and she’s looked at me a little funny since. But i guess it’s ok, my nana loves gays, gays like me?  ____________________________________ Ugh, I dread the day I turn 30. I know it’s so so far away, but it scares me. That’ll be the day my life ends, I’ll be a old fart rocking in chair by the fireplace reminiscing about how things used to be. Mariah Carey will be playing on the radio, no nevermind, it’ll be playing on whatever music technology my grandkids leave for me on table. They’ll barely visit their poor old grandpa. Every second will feel like years as I await my imminent death. Those below the age of 25 will laugh at me as I leave my house to get the mail. Spitting in my face, calling me a “old fag”. I’ll run, no limp, back into the house using my walker. I’ll cry, and wait until mother Mariah calls me back to the Lovely Place to live with her for all eternity. Where she lives there’s no beginning and there is no end, and it’ll feel like you’re dreaming, but you won’t be sleeping.  ___________________________________   “Happy Black History Month” reads the status posted by fotpforums user @DespunkThoseFawkingBawls “Ugh leave this forum you fucking annoying race baiting freak” replies user @Madonna despite the status just being posted 4 seconds ago.  It may be 3:32am where the madonna stanning user lives. But that didn’t stop him from logging and and checking Winnie’s post history for updates. Just like it didn’t stop him the other 2321 times.  “This will make him leave!” The Madonna Stan thinks, a demented smirk sprawled across his face. He sits inches away from the HP laptop screen, the 376x282 low definition display burning his corneas to a crisp. But he doesn’t care. He never cares. All her cares about is the moment when Winnie wakes up, and sees that notification. How will he feel? Will he weep? Will he become enraged? Will he wallow in sorrow? Or will he ignore the notification, just like the other 674 stacked in his notification box from the same user.  The madonna user wonders if he’ll ever be acknowledged again. And for a brief moment he wonders if his efforts are in vain? Should he perhaps put this energy somewhere productive? But he doesn’t like thinking logically. It hurts his head.  He steps two feet over to his twin-sized mattress, nuzzled comfortably in the corner of his 6x6 room. His head lays roughly on the bare mattress, not a bed sheet or pillow in site. As he drifts off to sleep, the stinging sensation from screen watching for 13 hours still present. A smile sprawls across his face. “I bet he’ll be pressted” he thinks as he drifts off to sleep. But I won’t be, and I never am. 

Request your songwriting credit receipts here

Hey gurls   So I work in music publishing and work with songwriting/song info. I won't have access to this info for much longer, so if you have any requests for credit splits/songwriting credits/how much a song is earning this month, for pretty much any song, leave your requests here and I can fetch the info for you   Example: You want to to know how much songwriting credit each songwriter of New Rules by Dua Lipa is getting: Ailin Caroline, 33.33% Ian Eric Kirkpatrick, 33.33% Emily Warren Schwartz, 33.33% (half of their percentages go to their publishers)   The shares aren't always split evenly, sometimes some artists who claim to write these songs are only getting 1-2% while their cowriters have 25% or even up to 50% of the work. So anything you are curious about feel free to ask (and then use the receipts in BG)



↳ Dangerous Woman: Limited Edition Fanbox

- Welcome to my first ever blogpost! The meaning of this blog is actually really simple. I just wanted to share my "portfolio" of all the photoshop edits, music remixes, etc. I've made throughout my life! It mainly features Ariana Grande. I will try to make more photoshop edits inspired by other edits. I create merchandise mockups, CDs, LPs and more. If you're interested in any of my work, please check it out and make sure to leave me feedback! Hope you guys enjoys my little blog! - DANGEROUS WOMAN: LIMITED EDITION FANBOX CLICK ON THE PICTURE FOR A BETTER VIEW! Including: - Comment down below what you think!



My 3D Zelda Games Ranking

Hi I had the urge to do this so here it is. I've never played Skyward Sword for some reason (Please port it to Switch thx) Anyway let's see here - I will be ranking from lowest to highest A note that I love every game here and this is actually very hard to do   5 4 3 2 1 Overall, this series has put out consistently good material. Out of the 3D titles, they have not put out a bad game. I am sure whatever is next will continue the legacy



Best and Worst in Music of 2017

Top 5 Albums   05. Taylor Swift - Reputation 04. Lorde - Melodrama 03. Goldfrapp - Silver Eye 02. The Killers - Wonderful Wonderful 01. Ryan Adams - Prisoner     Artists that disappointed me            Haim started so well with a clip of Right Now before the release of the first single. It was so raw and emotional. However, later it turned out the song was reworked for the album. Many songs are too light and jolly. The worst part is that they sound the same. It isn't a bad album overall, but after a cool debut, I expected more. This was too commercial for Haim.   The 4th album of Hurts becomes even more commercial sounding. Songs have cliche lyrics and basic production. Hurts are the best when they get darker lyrically and production wise. 


Fantastic Albums You Might Not Know! | Rabbits on the Run by Vanessa Carlton

"I Don't Know Her!": Fantastic Albums You Might Not Know!
Give 'Em a Chance!
I'm going to attempt to use this blog to give credit to albums which, in my opinion, are underrated or just unknown in general. You may not like my choices, and that's okay! But trust me when I say you can find beauty in any art if you give it a chance <3  This Entry's Underrated Album: Rabbits on the Run by Vanessa Carlton Vanessa Carlton first made her appearance on the pop scene with the massive hit "A Thousand Miles," which is known now a days for being a cult classic more than an actual chart topper. To many, this song was Vanessa Carlton's only notable song, cementing her status as a "one-hit-wonder." Many people were not even aware that the single was accompanied by the debut album Be Not Nobody, assuming that the single was the only work released to the public. However, not only did she create one album, but five albums in total. 
Vanessa, like many other popstars at first, was a slave to the image that her label concocted for her. The music she desired to create was not something the general public or the record label was interested in. Her first three albums were specifically pop, generally following the same pattern. While artistic growth in terms of complexity and writing styles were still strikingly prevalent as the albums progressed from her first, second (Harmonium), and third albums (Heroes and Thieves), nothing really prepared her small group of fans to the shift she would take in her fourth. 
Finally able to release music she was truly interested in, Vanessa began to craft what is, in my humble opinion, her greatest work to this date. After a long hiatus that spanned 2007 to 2011 (release year), Rabbits on the Run was finally available to the public. The album itself spawned no successful singles, it received good reviews by critics. Stephen Erlewine from AllMusic remarked that "This [was] music made with no audience in mind: it is strikingly personal." And it shows. Carlton shifted drastically from pop music directly to an indie-like approach.    What this album aesthetic feels like to me:
When I listen to this album I feel a strong sense of wondering and peace. It really has the ability to draw out very raw and personal emotions from deep within, allowing me to mull them over. Sound dramatic? Probably. But it is the best way to describe how I feel during this album. When I imagine a good aesthetic for this album, I picture a quiet night after a long, taxing day full of emotion. In a cabin by the woods during spring, with cold rain tapping gently on the window, a glass of wine in hand, a good book, and warm blankets to cuddle up in. Or possibly taking a walk in a mysterious enchanting forest.    A Brief Track by Track Review:
A beautiful way to begin the album. This song is very light-hearted and hopeful about finding new love after it is lost. (7/10) I Don't Want to Be a Bride 
A summery song about finding your true love, but not wanting to have to "wear white" to spend forever with them. The imagery used in this song is well crafted and is showcased by Vanessa's warm vocals. (8/10) London
This is the song that truly began my love of Vanessa. Not only is this one of, if not the best songs on the album, but it also happens to be one of my favorite songs of all time. To me, the lyrics are extremely relatable and thought provoking. "I've never been so sure that after all these years I'll never learn that heavenly creatures never come," Vanessa sings as she pours her heart out into the mic. This song is about feeling fooled by a relationship, love, or crush. The narrator feels tired of waiting and searching for that special someone, lamenting that she is wasting away her time waiting for her "new age." (10/10) Fairweather Friend 
A feathery song about an old lover/friend who only seems to think about fame or the luxuries of life. Vanessa knows that this person is only faking it through life without really ever facing reality. (6/10) Hear the Bells
One of the more mysterious songs on the album, "Hear the Bells" is a song that wrestles with the vagueness of life and the difficulties of life. Rampant metaphors are seen through this song, as Vanessa moves through the different ways she searches for an answer. This track has a charm about it that is hard to explain, which may have something to do with its overall unexplained overall message. However, this could be a perfect metaphor for life itself: not sure how to figure it out, but it is fascinating to try. (8/10) Dear California
This song is the closest this album gets to pop as a whole. Its deep lyrics are contrasted breezily with an upbeat and danceable rhythm. I can't help singing along to this song or tapping my foot when it comes on my shuffle. Great song to sing in the car! "But he loves me as I leave, so I've gotta go!" (9/10) Tall Tales for Spring 
This. This is the song that is arguably the crowning jewel of the album. Deliciously mischievous with wicked lyrics and an involved instrumental, this song conjures the almost cynical side of the phenomena of love, life, spirituality, and "madness of the heart." Truthfully, I'm not sure exactly what this song is truly trying to tell the listener. However, this is what I believe makes it so intriguing. Production wise, this is the most intense song of the album, which comes as an insane jolt of energy compared to its rather calm and easy sister songs. If a listener was to pick only one song to listen to from this album, I'd highly suggest this one. This song and its counterpart In the End are magnificent and crown the album with grace and pride. (10/10) A few choice lyrics that happen to be some of my favorite:
"The wicked in me is surely the wicked in you.
We pray to a ghost that we've never met.
Time turns for a cure from the scientists for
Madness of the heart." "Hawking will tell us no tall tales this spring, 
Our minds hold the ciaos that started everything."   Get Good
Taking it down a notch after the previous song, this piece reminds me of a rainy day in a cafe. The topic is recovery after a rough patch in life. Vanessa encourages a friend to take a minute, breathe, and take a moment "to get good again." (8/10) The Marching Line
A lone piano starts off this track, capturing attention immediately. This song slowly swells like the slow anxiety of walking up to your destiny and future. While this is the track that is most somber, it is by no means a dud. Essentially, Vanessa reflects on how her future is calling and she must leave all of what she knows behind in order to fulfil her life. She will sail on a ship with no captain, off into the grey seas. "Fortune tellers, fortunes tell her..." (9/10) In the End
Never fails to give me chills. This is the best way to end the album. I had mentioned previously that this was the counterpart to Tall Tales for Spring, this is because the instrumental is TTFS slowed down and given a more ambient sound. While the song itself is considerably short and only has a handful of lyrics, it is easily the most haunting and magical track on the album. In the End reflects on how death is inevitable and unavoidable, after all it's the way of all things. As I listen to this song, I imagine sinking deep into a black, peaceful ocean. And with this song the album comes to a close. (10/10) Highlights of the Album
Tall Tales for Spring, London, In the End, The Marching Line, & Dear California  Overall Rating: 7.8/10  Thank you for reading my first blog post! Hopefully if this goes well I'll do more!



Dead Or Alive: The Singles

1.Misty Circles
2.What I Want
3.I'd Do Anything
4.That's the Way (I Like It)
5.You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)
6.Lover Come Back to Me
7.In Too Deep
8.My Heart Goes Bang (Get Me to the Doctor)
9.Brand New Lover
10.Something in My House
11.Hooked on Love
12.I'll Save You All My Kisses
13.Come Home with Me Baby
14.Baby Don't Say Goodbye
15.Your Sweetness (Is Your Weakness) (Japan Single)
16.Gone 2 Long (Japan Single)
17.Unhappy Birthday (Japan Single)
18.Rebel Rebel (UK Single)
19.You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) (Sugar Pumpers Radio Edit)
20.Sex Drive
21.Hit and Run Lover (Japan Single)
22.You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) (Metro 7" Edit)
Other Singles (Pre-Misty Circles & Debut album):
1.I'm Falling
2.Number Eleven
3.It's Been Hours Now
4.The Stranger

Who I Am


more lyrics ive written

i still have a few more to add but heres what ive typed up so far (new updated are in the folder 11/8/18) https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1U2lLMNUm36_bzFVe-lVdxkoJZRBxOLKP?usp=sharing  

Chris Morlock


Memoirs of the Broken Hearted - Part III

part 1  part 2   Someone wise once said "life without love is meaningless" perhaps I snapped when I said that. After breaking up with @Hylia in March, in the wee-hours of my anniversary celebrations, I discovered he had a ring for me, as a gift. I already married him once, gave him full custody of our three children, Tori, Mariah and Sylk Jr. and left his world for good, but going through the divorce, knowing what it meant to be away from him, knowing who I was without him... I knew I could not go back. I left with my fingers bare that night. Needless to say, Hylia and I have remained excellent friends since, our number one priority will always be our kids. But I still see that ring box sitting on the desk in his living room everytime I go to visit the kids. Does he still love me? I wonder. Despite the doubts, I was persistent to stay single there after, even though guys were coming left and right I decided that I needed some time off, ofcourse @Jae kept texting me, @Aidan.  kept leaving flowers at my door, and @Winnie. kept stalking me, but I was done with men. I was done with all of them. I even deleted the picture of @SWINΞ I had kept when I had grown quite the crush on him. It felt liberating. Something was different in me, I felt new, even my friends @Arya and @Mitski said so. It's a funny thing really, it's easy to be in your world, build it exactly to tend to your needs, easy to be alone but we have a biological desire to welcome another in this bubble that we've built. Nature's way to bend you. So it made complete sense when i met someone, it was the universe's way of telling me, the time was right. My October nights were suddenly filled with conversation about love and life, talk that went on till the sun came up, even though we both had work we didn't care. His words were so beautiful, the way he spoke, his thoughts, his mind, it amazed me. I had never felt such a fire before, except maybe with Hylia. But this was so much more. Still I was scared, I did not want to lose him. I guess after losing so many people in my life. I really wanted this to work. I have not told him yet, but I feel alot of love for him, yes I love him. And I wanna tell him, soon. But uncertainty still echoes at the far back of my mind, Does he still love me? To be continued.... 



Changing my major/career (help please)

Growing up, I always wanted to be a teacher. I played school instead of house, and I loved helping my friends with their homework so I could practice for the future. So many of my classmates hated being quizzed about life after high school, but it never bothered me because I had a plan. I'm very indecisive about many aspects of my life, but this is one area I never had to worry about until now.   Last summer, I finally began my teaching classes after two years of general education and I was optimistic at first but have slowly realized that it isn't for me. The more I learn about it, I'm discovering that it isn't what I thought it would be at all and I want nothing to do with it anymore. It almost feels like a divorce in a way, because I've wanted to do this for so long and I've completely fallen out of love with it and don't see myself ever getting back to that honeymoon phase. I had this unrealistic image of teaching in my head where I would stroll into the classroom like Mary Poppins and have an intellectually-stimulating conversation with my students, and everything I've been learning lately completely goes against that. I've discovered that I hate being in front of a room, and I'm not equipped to deal with all of the issues that students, schools, and teachers face. It's 90% babysitting demon spawn and preparing for testing, which is completely different than I thought it would be and I don't have a passion for that. I also don't want to have a job that I have to keep thinking about after hours. I want to have time for myself and not be constantly stressed out.   What once made me hopeful now makes me physically sick, and it's scary because this was my life plan and now I don't know where to go from here. However, in some ways it's liberating to admit that I'm over it because I'm finally allowed to imagine other possibilities. I'm not mentally, socially, or emotionally prepared for the job requirements of teaching, and it's not even something I'm willing to work on over time because I have zero interest in the profession anymore. Even if I had what it takes, I still wouldn't want to do it. It doesn't matter what school, age group, or subject, I just want to get out of the field entirely ASAP. It's actually astounding how quickly I went from being fully invested to trying to fake it to blatantly not caring in my classes. If I weren't locked into classes that I'm paying a fortune for, I would have ghosted months ago. Right now I'm just sticking it out until the semester is over.   Ideally I would do something with writing because I'm good at it and I enjoy it, but I don't know if I could realistically provide for myself that way. I don't plan on building a family so I'll only need to worry about taking care of myself, but still. I haven't told many people about my change of heart because I know they're going to think I'm crazy if I drop education and go for English only, even though it would make me far happier than what I'm doing right now. I see the way people react every time my sister changes her major (she's on number 4) and it would be huge fodder for gossip especially since everyone who knows me knows that I've always wanted to be a teacher. I feel like people won't accept that I've changed my mind, and will try to convince me to keep doing something I don't care about anymore just because it fits the image of me they have in their heads. Everyone is going to be completely blindsided because I've never shared any of this out loud, and they're going to assume it's a rash impulse and not something I've thought about in depth. They're going to try to convince me I'm still in love with my spouse even though there's no feeling anymore and I'm ready to start seeing other people.   I recently transferred to a private college after graduating from community college and I like it here but the main reason I chose it is because of its reputation among schools. When principals hire teachers, alumni from my current college go to the top of the pile. But if I don't want to teach anymore, it doesn't make sense for me to keep going here with how much it costs. I'll be sad to leave especially since I enjoy the campus culture and I've made a good amount of friends, but my heart says I should go. I can study English only at a public school for a fraction of the cost I'm paying right now for English and education at a private school. I just don't know how to bring it up with my family since preparing for the spring semester isn't very far away at all and I don't know if there's still time, and something tells me they're not going to respect my feelings. I think it's better for me to realize this now than to go through grad school and get locked into student teaching. I have an appointment to make my spring schedule at my current school literally any day now, and I have no idea what I'm going to tell them. "Hey, I'm dipping because I don't care about my major anymore and I can study something cheaper elsewhere" probably won't go over very well.   I don't know why I decided to post this, especially since I barely come here anymore, but I guess I just wanted to hear people's opinions. If anyone has ever decided to change their major or career after thinking it's what they wanted to do all their life, I'd love to hear how it worked out for them or what they're doing now. I need as much insight as I can get. For those of you who have interacted with me, what career fields could you envision me in? Serious answers only, please.



Rachel Green's favorite albums of all time

Hey FOTPers . In this thread I'm going to post about some of my favorite albums of all time where I like/love at least 80%+ of the album.  First off I'm gonna start with my faves: janet. by Janet Jackson: This album made me fall in love with 90s music and culture. For me, this album embodies the 90s music perfectly. There's pop, there's R&B, there's opera, there's new jack swing, there's ballads... It may be my favorite album from Janet tbh. I like every single song on this one but the exceptions are If, This Time, Throb, Any Time, Any Place and Where Are You Now. Those songs have left me bald ever since I first heard them. And the tour was snatching with the costumes being a highlight for me. Moving on... Ray of Light by Madonna: When I first heard this album in 2012/13, I hated it with a passion and only liked Frozen and that was it. Then June 2015 happened when a voice told me to give it a second chance and I'm glad I did tbh. The lyrics, the melodies, her voice, the visuals... Pure p e r f e c t i o n. The Fame Monster by Lady Gaga: Her best era in my opinion. Perfect tour, perfect videos, perfect album with no skippable tracks, something her other albums don't have, but Born This Way comes very close if it wasn't for FOHL and BJ+AF. Stripped by Christina Aguilera: I was hesitating between Bionic and this one but I went with Stripped only because Fighter, Walk Away, Dirrty and I'm OK are on it.  I love me some shady, vulnerable and contoversial Xtina. All of those in one era. Whew she did THAT tbh.  Also this album and the next one I consider them very personal; PRISM by Katy Perry: This album has helped me so much for these past 2/3 years. By the Grace of God, Double Rainbow, Roar, Walking on Air, Unconditionally, Spiritual, Choose Your Battles and It Takes Two to be exact and I'll be forever grateful to Katy for releasing such a great body of work. It deserved to win at least 2 Grammys. HONORABLE MENTIONS (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER): WILL BE UPDATED SOON  (didn't know that I liked the 90s more than the 80s )

Rachel Green


inspirational monday

Preparing to Clean Your Ass! WHEN DID YOU LAST PAY YOUR ASS A VISIT? Before sticking ANYTHING but a finger in your ass, you should get to know it, both inside and out. The first thing to know is that nothing will easily go in there against its will. You need to relax, coax, sooth and pleasure it first. The worst time to discover your ass is just before sex! Instead book yourself some discovery time. Make sure you’re alone, have an uninterrupted hour, and have turned off the phone. Getting comfortable and relaxed is the most important thing! Your ass has both an inner and outer sphincters. The outer one makes the butt pucker that you can see, and then there is one inside, which you can feel a short ways up with a well lubricated finger. It’s the inner one that mostly controls what goes in or out, and has a mind of it’s own. You’re going to have to relax both these sets of muscles enough to eventually put a nozzle in your hole. The best way to do this is to gently massage and push into your hole with a well lubricated finger or small dildo. You want to slightly push out with your ass like you were taking a dump to help open up the sphincters. Don’t rush things and eventually you’ll get in there. Once you are able to insert your finger or small toy, gently work it in and out until your ass is not upset with the visiting object. Give it lots of lube and take your time! Your almost ready to give it a good cleaning now! [box]The Checkup: Time for a Quick Cleaning or the BIG Cleaning?  
The Checkup happens both before you clean out you ass and afterwards to make sure you did a great job. Let’s assume that you’ve already taken a dump a little while back, and then used a well lubed finger to gently open up your sphincter. Rest one leg up on a chair or the toilet seat to do a Standing Checkup. Reach around and give yourself a tentative cavity search! First you want to check the immediate area inside your butt. You might not find any poo, which is great, but you’ll want to sweep around all the area that you can reach. If you find something right away, no need to go further in. If your fingers come out clean, it’s time for the Squat! Squatting at this point will let you check a bit deeper in. With a bit of practice, and even more lube, you’ll be able to check right up to the first interior bend in your butt. It’ll give you a high degree of confidence that if you’re all clean, you’ll be able to safely take a moderate dildo, or average hung guy in your ass without any problems. Now that you’ve done your checkup, you’ll have a good idea of how much of a cleaning you need! For beginners, you’ll really want to use a Handheld Butt Blaster. If your into some serious ass play, or have a really hung partner, you’ll want to hose down the back alley![/box]  



20 Horror Films To Consider This October

It's nearly October, so here's some good ones you may not have heard of  Many have comedy, sci-fi, thriller mixed in there but they all qualify   Altered States Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon Brain Damage A Bucket of Blood Chopping Mall The Company of Wolves The Curse of the Werewolf Dagon The Entity Fiend Without a Face Frankenstein Unbound Ginger Snaps In the Mouth of Madness John Dies at the End Lord of Illusions Mimic Nightbreed Pin: A Plastic Nightmare Shadow of the Vampire White Dog  

Dennis Reynolds