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'Cause I am a material girl mad3 

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This is one of my favourite sub-genres in science fiction (though not every film here counts as sci-fi), so I'm also gonna add an "honourable mention" list as they very end just so the primary one isn't ridiculously long. Also, I won't count more than one film from the same series.

































And my honourable mentions:


Back to the Future Part II

Back to the Future Part III

Escape from the Planet of the Apes


Men in Black 3

Peggy Sue Got Married

Planet of the Apes (2001) - yeah I said it

Star Trek (2009)

Star Trek: First Contact

Terminator 2: Judgment Day



Most/all of these films take some artistic license with the real people they're based on, but I will set some limits. I'm not going to count anything here like Amadeus or Quills (both great movies) that are less biopics and more just fiction loosely based on real historical figures.


And yeah, I'm a whore for Warren Beatty.


20. Schindler's List


19. Quiz Show


18. Catch Me If You Can


17. Raging Bull


16. Tombstone


15. The Social Network


14. Born on the Fourth of July


13. La Bamba


12. Lawrence of Arabia


11. Man on the Moon


10. Wild


9. The Walk


8. Bugsy


7. Straight Outta Compton


6. Reds


5. Walk the Line


4. The Wolf of Wall Street


3. Bonnie and Clyde


2. Private Parts


1. Ed Wood



And a few honorable mentions:


I Love You Phillip Morris


Sid & Nancy

Great Balls of Fire!

The People vs. Larry Flynt



The Doors

Most of these range from improbable to ridiculous... I could probably fill this list with Sly alone!


Sylvester Stallone 

- Jerry Savage (Rebel)

- Johnny Kovak (F.I.S.T)

- Deke DaSilva (Nighthawks)

- Robert Hatch (Victory)

- Lincoln Hawk (Over the Top)

- Raymond Tango (Tango & Cash)

- John Spartan (Demolition Man)

- Ray Quick (The Specialist)

- Robert Rath (Assassins)


Seagal has some doozies as well...


Steven Seagal 

- Mason Storm (Hard to Kill)

- John Hatcher (Marked for Death)

- Casey Ryback (Under Siege)

- Austin Travis (Executive Decision)

- Jack Cole (The Glimmer Man)

- Jack Taggart (Fire Down Below) 

- Jonathan Cold (The Foreigner)


And you can't forget their action star contemporaries that picked normal names slightly more often...


Arnold Schwarzenegger

- John Matrix (Commando)

- Jack Slater (Last Action Hero)

- Harry Tasker (True Lies)


Mel Gibson

- Mad Max Rockatansky (Mad Max)

- Martin Riggs (Lethal Weapon)

- Bret Maverick (Maverick)

- Porter [no first name...I wouldn't mess with this motherfucker] (Payback) 


Jean-Claude Van Damme

- Frank Dux (Bloodsport)

- Gibson Rickenbacker (Cyborg)

- Darren McCord (Sudden Death)


Plus nearly the entire cast of Michael Bay's Armageddon:


- Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis)

- A:J. Frost (Ben Affleck)

- Chick Chapple (Will Patton)

- Rockhound (Steve Buscemi)

- Oscar Choice (Owen Wilson)

- Willie Sharp (William Fichtner)


The late 90s/early 2000s blockbuster king formerly known as the Fresh Prince has a couple:


Will Smith

- Raymond Clayton Dean [three names, that's almost more badass than one!) (Enemy of the State)

- Cypher Raige (After Earth)


John Travolta (Deak Deakins) and Christian Slater (Riley Hale) are also pretty hardcore in Broken Arrow. And the also iconic John Shaft.


Probably a few that I missed dead2 

Not gonna lie - it was a stretch to get all the way to fifteen...


15. Cujo (1983)


14. Bats (1999)


13. Anaconda (1997)


12. Orca (1977) 


11. Willard (1971)


10. Monkey Shines (1988)


9. Congo (1995)


8. The Birds (1963)


7. Deep Blue Sea (1999)


6. Piranha (1978)


5. The Grey (2012)


4. Phase IV (1974)


3. Alligator (1980)


2. Arachnophobia (1990)


1. Lake Placid (1999)


I hadn't gone to one of these since I was about 15, so when I heard they were putting on one for ten days in my local city (with better rides than I was used to as well, my previous city didn't really get the full treatment), I was pretty excited. I had it in my head that I was gonna try all the badass shit that I was too much of a pussy to go on as a kid, and...I sorta did.


The first thing I tried was one of two rollercoasters that were there, and this line took fucking forever. As the wait is coming to an end I ask the two 11/12 year old girls in front of me if all the lines are this long and fortunately they tell me that's not the case. They also begin to recommend to me all of the most hardcore rides, but just by name so it didn't mean as much at the time. Later when I actually saw them, I was sorta impressed. I mean, two little girls went on this thing that went about four in the air, spinned and turned completely upside down. Is that not some majorly fucked up shit?


I was worried I was gonna lose my cool at last minute when the rollercoaster actually began (with the two 11 year old girls, mind you...), but I held it together pretty good. Just sorted gritted my teeth a bit. After this I went on probably the worst/scariest ride that I did, the Ring of Fire:



On this one, I did scream. A lot. I also had my eyes shut like a steel fucking trap about 99% of the time. You probably couldn't have made me open them unless you put some Clockwork Orange shit on me beforehand.




After that, I went on the nice, serene, no-screams ferris wheel.





I was still not completely over the Ring of Fire, so I kept up with the lower key rides for a little while dead2 I was pretty disappointed with the haunted house, they had this werewolf that looked a matted bear. But then I went to the "Video Box" or something, and although it wasn't all that great, I saw this. Stan.




Went to the funhouse as well, seeing a deformed version of yourself is always enjoyable.




I finally started going on the real, non-pussy rides again, starting with the Swing Tower. But there happened to be two different little girls (maybe 15) who weren't even holding the safety bars jj4 I of course gripped them for dear life.



And then probably my favorite ride, the Starship 4000. The gravity effect is really cool, went on this one a few times. Also once they were playing Poker Face. Stan again.



There were a few others in between that I don't quite recall, but the final ride I went on was the Crazy Mouse - another rollercoaster, but one that spins while you're on it. As I was a loner and they like to have so many people on certain rides, they put on this carny named Willem with me, who says this is gonna be a "VIP" ride. I had no idea what he meant, but it turned out their definition of VIP was "have two carnies spin around the rollercoaster like mad before it even starts so it spins even fucking crazier the whole time".



I tried to psyche myself up to go on the Drop of Doom, but nah, the suspense of that thing is just too fucked up carla1 

I'd specifically avoided naming animated TV series in my other blog entries, so here's me making up for it. I'm counting any kind of animation here - traditional, CGI, stop-motion, whatever. Also counting everything from cartoons with a child target audience to super raunchy, adults-only cartoons, and I'm counting every genre.


20. Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law (2000-2007)

19. Clerks: The Animated Series (2000-2001)

18. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987-1996)

17. Animaniacs (1993-1998)

16. Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated (2010-2013)

15. Justice League (2001-2004)

14. Gargoyles (1994-1996)

13. Aaahh!!! Real Monsters (1994-1997)

12. Kim Possible (2002-2007)

11. Beetlejuice (1989-1991)

10. The Critic (1994-1995)

9. South Park (1997-present)

8. Dilbert (1999-2000)

7. Futurama (1999-2003, 2007-2013)

6. Rick and Morty (2013-present)

5. The Simpsons (1989-present sadly)

4. Robot Chicken (2005-present)

3. Batman: The Animated Series (1992-1995)

2. Archer (2009-present)

1. Daria (1997-2002)

For every Star Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy and Avatar, there's a space opera flick that didn't receive a fraction of the attention of those films. Some of these are inspired by those films, other are blatants knock-offs. Some of these are good, some bad, some inbetween - but all are entertaining! jj2 


My criteria:

- I'm not counting anything like Dune or John Carter (both films that I like) that in spite of being flops are such notorious flops that they're still pretty well known.

- Just movies, not counting shows like Farscape or ShadowRaiders.




Barbarella, an astronaut from the 41st century, sets out to find and stop the evil scientist Durand Durand, whose Positronic Ray threatens to bring evil back into the galaxy.


This movie is just endlessly entertaining to me, and for a fun fact it's where Duran Duran (one of my favorite bands) got their name from.




A young farmer sets out to recruit mercenaries to defend his peaceful planet, which is under threat of invasion by the evil tyrant Sador and his armada of aggressors.


Notice that the ship is intentionally designed to look like a pair of tits...and it was designed by James Cameron!




A young man learns that he has to find a hidden Earth ship before an enemy alien species does in order to secure the survival of humanity.


I think the blend of CGI and traditional animation is pretty cool, and it really highlights just how alien the Drej are. 




A young woman discovers her destiny as an heiress of intergalactic nobility and must fight to protect the inhabitants of Earth from an ancient and destructive industry.


Wolfman Channing Tatum clad in rocket boots fights a dragonman on the planet Jupiter. That alone makes this film great.




A video game expert Alex Rogan finds himself transported to another planet after conquering The Last Starfighter video game only to find out it was just a test. He was recruited to join the team of best starfighters to defend their world from the attack.


A bit silly on the whole, but still a good time. Interesting for its (clunky) early uses of CGI.


...and that's all for now! Can't wait for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets to (maybe) be awesome and (certainly) flop hard at the box office! 

I'm not naming any villains who were kind of bland or generic (Walter Donovan, Malekith) but weren't really a major presence in their respective films or villains that are simply too funny for me to hate (Mr. Freeze). All the ones listed are poorly acted, poorly written characters who definitely drag the films they're in down.



Walker (Stuart Wilson) - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III




Dr. Claw (Rupert Everett) - Inspector Gadget 



Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle) - Men in Black II




You know what? All of them. Just fucking all of them in the world's most pathetic three-way-tie (Dane DeHaan, Jamie Foxx, Paul Giamatti) - The Amazing Spider-Man 2




The Enchantress (Cara Delevingne) - Suicide Squad




The films that I picked for this list all either have less than an average rating of 6.0 on IMDb or less than 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, and in many cases, both. Personally though, I'd rate all of them at least a solid 7 and many of them even higher for various reasons. I'm not gonna game anything like slasher series (unless it's a reviled entry I happen to like), Transformers or Batman v Superman which are all fairly popular really despite being disliked by critics and would have a significant amount of vocal defenders among the general public, just to make this more interesting. And although I already mentioned that a low rating on either IMDb or RT would qualify it for this list, I'm not gonna name anything where there's a noticeably huge difference between the two ratings on each site for some reason, because some films can just be polarizing more than anything.


Barbarella (1968)

It's Alive (1974)

Zardoz (1974)

The Black Hole (1979)

Alligator (1980)

Shock Treatment (1981)

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983)

A View to a Kill (1985)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

Harry and the Hendersons (1987)

Ishtar (1987)

Mannequin (1987)

Masters of the Universe (1987)

Who's That Girl (1987)

Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)

Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

The Karate Kid Part III (1989)

Leviathan (1989)

She-Devil (1989)

Shocker (1989)

Bird on a Wire (1990)

RoboCop 2 (1990)

The Rookie (1990)

Delirious (1991)

Hudson Hawk (1991)

Captain Ron (1992)

Cool World (1992)

Super Mario Bros. (1993)

Cabin Boy (1994)

The Flintstones (1994)

Timecop (1994)

Batman Forever (1995)

The Brady Bunch Movie (1995)

Congo (1995)

Rumpelstiltskin (1995)

Tank Girl (1995)

Joe's Apartment (1996)

The Phantom (1996)

Spice World (1997)

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998)

Hard Rain (1998)

Home Fries (1998)

A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

The Bone Collector (1999)

House On Haunted Hill (1999)

Lake Placid (1999)

Mickey Blue Eyes (1999)

My Favorite Martian (1999)

She's All That (1999)

Wild Wild West (1999)

The 6th Day (2000)

Dude, Where's My Car? (2000)

The Ladies Man (2000)

Mission to Mars (2000)

What Planet Are You From? (2000)

Corky Romano (2001)

Down to Earth (2001)

Josie and the Pussycats (2001)

Monkeybone (2001)

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

Town & Country (2001)

Big Fat Liar (2002)

Undercover Brother (2002)

Hulk (2003)

What a Girl Wants (2003)

AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

Without a Paddle (2004)

Southland Tales (2006)

Land of the Lost (2009)

Spring Breakers (2012)

V/H/S (2012)

The Lone Ranger (2013)

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Unfriended (2014)

Hell and Back (2015)

Jupiter Ascending (2015)


Thoughts? What are some not-so-acclaimed movies that you enjoy quite a bit?

I have a longer, more detailed list in the works but it's taking a while to put together and I wanna do another one so I made this in the meanwhile. Again, live-action series only.


20. 3rd Rock from the Sun (1996-2001)

19. The Goldbergs (2013-present)

18. The King of Queens (1998-2007)

17. Eastbound & Down (2009-2013)

16. Black-ish (2014-present)

15. Corner Gas (2004-2009)

14. The Office [U.S.] (2005-2013) 

13. My Name is Earl (2005-2009)

12. Roseanne (1988-1997)

11. Frasier (1993-2004)

10. Taxi (1978-1982)

9. Married...with Children (1987-1998)

8. Friends (1994-2004)

7. Modern Family (2009-present)

6. Seinfeld (1989-1998)

5. Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000-present)

4. Spaced (1999-2001)

3. Malcolm in the Middle (2000-2006)

2. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005-present)

1. Arrested Development (2003-2006, 2013-present)

Just to help narrow this down, I'm excluding the following from this list:


- Animated characters (otherwise I assure you Daria Morgendorffer, Sterling Archer and Homer Simpson would surely be here, and maybe some others like Rick and Morty too)

- Anyone from a show that is strongly adapted from a well known, pre-existing source material, so no superhero shows will be included here or anything like Ash vs. Evil Dead that is a televised continuation of a film series. I'm being more lenient with shows that are considerably different from their source material or are based on one that wasn't very well known up until the show began.

- Characters from a miniseries.

- Any more than two characters from the same series.


And without further ado...


10. Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham) - Gilmore Girls


Good god was I impressed with how fast this chick could talk. I knew I would miss her the second the series finale was over, but I've still got A Year in the Life!


9. Spike (James Marsters) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer


He has one of the most surprising and interesting arcs of any character I can think of. He went from being a supporting guest villain in the second season to appearing years later as Buffy's main love interest. Through the good and the bad, he did change a lot throughout the series in various way, and I dig his sense of humor.


8. George Costanza (Jason Alexander) - Seinfeld


Short, stocky, bald and a born loser.


6 & 7. Tim Bisley (Simon Pegg) and Daisy Steiner (Jessica Stevenson) - Spaced


This is one of the most cleverly written TV shows of all time. The writers of The Big Bang Theory ought to hang their heads in shame.


5. Luke Danes (Scott Patterson) - Gilmore Girls


This guy just fucking kills me. Yeah, I love Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, but I actually appreciate his more toned down pop culture references and his frustrating interactions with the townspeople slightly more.


4. Gob Bluth (Will Arnett) - Arrested Development


He's made a huge mistake.


3. John Crichton (Ben Browder) - Farscape


A pop culture loving Earthling who finds himself way the hell out in the universe in a space opera setting? Any fans of Guardians of the Galaxy should do themselves a favor and check out this awesome series.


2. Buffy Summers (Sarah Michelle Gellar) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer


I'm probably something of a minority in that Buffy is my clear, no contest favorite character of the series. It seems that out of the show's many fans, most will pick a supporting character, but I simply love her Gellar's portrayal and her development throughout the series


1. Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton) - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia


The legend, THE GOLDEN GOD. Also a severely narcissistic sociopath.


Runner-ups/honorable mentions:


Michael Bluth (Jason Bateman) - Arrested Development

Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) - Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Rebecca Bunch (Rachel Bloom) - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Larry David (Larry David) - Curb Your Enthusiasm

Aeryn Sun (Claudia Black) - Farscape

Walter Bishop (John Noble) - Fringe

entire main cast - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Ben Linus (Michael Emerson) - Lost

Al Bundy (Ed O'Neill) - Married...with Children

Jay Pritchett (Ed O'Neill) - Modern Family

Claire Dunphy (Julie Bowen) - Modern Family

Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson) - The Office U.S.

Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) - Star Trek: The Next Generation 

Data (Brent Spiner) - Star Trek: The Next Generation 

Louie De Palma (Danny DeVito) - Taxi

Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell) - Veronica Mars

I realize I have said this more than once over the past couple of days, but allow me to try and persuade you all one last time - do not look at comment sections anymore.


I don't mean literally all of them - there's probably no harm in checking out the comments under some obscure website or blog that you follow, but any major site like YouTube, Facebook, TMZ, DailyMail or IMDb is bound to have a shitty comment section.


This is largely because of the fact that comment sections are not really meant for serious discussion - that's what forums are for. I have seldom seen two people engage in an intelligent, rational discussion on any of those sites - if two people have replied to each other multiple times, it's usually some childish bitchfest.


It barely even matters if it's a comment section where you're anonymous or not either. Give a man a mask, and he'll show you his true face - if it is a site based in anonymity, people will have no fear and say the reprehensible, inflammatory things they don't have the balls to say in real life, and if it's a site linked to your real identity...well, a lot of people will still say horrible shit, but now that your appearance, job and location are on the table, some ad hominem attacks will be thrown in for good measure. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about any specific groups of people here - there's something about this method of communication that brings out the worst in people in general.


Seriously, just give it a shot for a while and see how you feel. I think it'll only do good for any given person. And I'm also probably not gonna post anything serious in my blog in the foreseeable future so the four people that read it when they're bored need not worry.



@Hannah & @Diamond in particular since I already said a lesser version of this same basic message to the two of you previously. 


I don't hate anything on this list and I don't even think they're bad in some cases - these are simply things that, in my opinion, get considerably more acclaim than they deserve. Also, just to be clear, I'm only naming things that I'm reasonably familiar with and thus have a valid opinion on, so I'm not gonna name anything like Twitter that I don't use.

Idris Elba

- The man is a plank. Granted, I've never seen The Wire, but the guy is just way too fond of the speak very very quietly and then START SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE routine.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy

Motorboating a woman's breasts

- This has just always struck me as incredibly childish. It's like a sexual act somebody who barely understands sex would fantasize about. 

Shadow of the Colossus, a game on PlayStation 2


- They simply aren't that fucking magical, people.

Fargo, the movie

- I love the Coen bros., but I've never really taken to this movie. It's mostly just mean spirited with a handful of amusing moments.


- Has a tambourine literally ever improved any musical number in the history of mankind? I think you'll find the answer is no. It's essentially the instrument that was created so the talentless children would have something to do in their elementary school Christmas pageant.

Eating outside (picnics and that ilk)

The Chanukah Song on SNL

- I think Adam Sandler can be funny sometimes, but his constant cracking up at his own jokes during this bit kinda kills it for me.

Speech to text programs

Just to make this easier, I'm counting everything from PG-13 horror comedies to brutal borderline NC-17 pure horror flicks. However, I am not counting films that simply have some horror themes, but make practically no attempts to be scary whatsoever (Ghostbusters, Army of Darkness, What We Do in the Shadows).


100. Brain Damage (1988)

99. Night of the Demons (1988)

98. When a Stranger Calls (1979)

97. Them! (1954)

96. Pin: A Plastic Nightmare (1988)

95. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

94. The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) 

93. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

92. Candyman (1992)

91. Scream 2 (1997)

90. The Evil Dead (1981)

89. Freaks (1932)

88. Arachnophobia (1990)

87. The Devil's Rejects (2005)

86. Krampus (2015)

85. The Company of Wolves (1985)

84. The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

83. Final Destination (2000)

82. Cloverfield (2008)

81. The Shining (1980)

80. Island of Lost Souls (1932)

79. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

78. The Old Dark House (1932)

77. The Wicker Man (1973)

76. House (1985)

75. A Bucket of Blood (1959)

74. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)

73. The Monster Squad (1987)

72. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

71. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

70. Nosferatu (1922)

69. Fright Night (1985)

68. Altered States (1980)

67. The Fly (1958)

66. The Invisible Man (1933)

65. The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)

64. Poltergeist (1982)

63. Ginger Snaps (2000)

62. The Blob (1988)

61. The Exorcist (1973)

60. Frankenstein (1931)

59. House on Haunted Hill (1999)

58. Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)

57. The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)

56. Pumpkinhead (1988)

55. The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

54. The Mist (2007)

53. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

52. Splice (2009)

51. The Faculty (1998)

50. The Cell (2000)

49. The Lost Boys (1987)

48. Dead Calm (1989)

47. 28 Days Later... (2002)

46. The Last House on the Left (2009)

45. House of Wax (1953)

44. Basket Case (1982)

43. The Entity (1982)

42. The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

41. Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)

40. Alligator (1980)

39. Tales from the Crypt (1972)

38. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

37. Scream (1996)

36. Psycho (1960)

35. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

34. Slither (2006)

33. The Mummy (1959)

32. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

31. Dagon (2001)

30. Society (1989)

29. Lake Placid (1999)

28. The Frighteners (1996)

27. The Howling (1981)

26. The Return of the Living Dead (1985)

25. Eraserhead (1977)

24. The Babadook (2014)

23. In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

22. Sleepaway Camp (1983)

21. Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

20. Halloween (1978)

19. The Descent (2005)

18. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

17. Nightbreed (1990)

16. Re-Animator (1985)

15. Trick 'r Treat (2007)

14. Dracula Has Risen From the Grave (1968)

13. Hellraiser (1987)

12. Event Horizon (1997)

11. Gremlins (1984)

10. The Stepford Wives (1975)

9. An American Werewolf in London (1982)

8. Son of Frankenstein (1939)

7. Creepshow (1982)

6. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

5. The Fly (1986)

4. Evil Dead II (1987)

3. Day of the Dead (1985)

2. Alien (1979)

1. The Thing (1982)


Ranking subject to change entirely in about six minutes...

Trick or treaters


Super Mario Bros. 3


When I write down some random idea I had in the middle of the night only to look at it in the morning and realize it makes no fucking sense



Cats, especially my own



Potatoes, in all their forms


The trailer for the movie Tiptoes. I think all it's missing is a comedy record scratch, like so:

- "He always told her he came from a small family, but this... *WHIRRRP!" ...is NOT what she expected!"


That hairdresser that I had once who never tried to chat about pointless bullshit with me when she was cutting my hair. So much so that I tipped her $20.


The word "schmuck"


Beeker, from The Muppet Show



Weekend at Bernie's, a film in which two working stiffs party hard with their former boss, a literal stiff



The fact that Nicole Kidman and Katie Holmes nailed both Tom Cruise and Batman


Banana bread


Body horror



Rachel Bloom, singer/writer/dancer/actress/comedienne extraordinaire 


The Masque of the Red Death by Edgar Allan Poe


To show I'm not a totally negative asshole...

Socks with toes on them

The scene in Star Wars when the two Imperial officers decide not to blow up the escape pod because "they do not detect any life forms aboard"

- First of all, they're not even looking for lifeforms, they're looking for the Death Star plans.

- Droids are extremely common in the galaxy anyway so the "not a life form" thing shouldn't matter.

- It's not like they're out of ammo anyway, just shoot the fucking thing. George Lucas' cracks started to show in Star Wars very early on...

People who key the cars of strangers

- I genuinely don't even get this. It would at least make sense if you know whose car it is and you're looking for some payback (not that I would condone that), but someone who you've never even met? WTF.

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey


The beach

- Sharp rocks, direct sunlight and sand in my food and every crevice of my body. Thanks but no thanks.

Stuffed pets

This emoticon rav2

"Pepsi OK?" as a response to "I'll have a Coke."

Bluetooth headsets

- Seriously guys, it really doesn't make you look cool.

The California Raisins

- Fucking terrified me as a child...and kind of as an adult too.

When people say "I could care less"

My 4th grade teacher

Trying to keep a dying conversation on the phone afloat 

That guy in Batman Forever who yells out "BATMAN! NYEEEEAAAH!" when Batman comes through the skylight


That is all.

Spoilers lie within...




Rating - 8/10.


While not a masterpiece like Alien or Aliens, Alien 3 is still quite a good film, and it would have been better if the series had ended here rather than continuing with the absurd Alien: Resurrection, and the even worse Alien vs. Predator films (well, at least the latter of the two).

After the events of Aliens, the supposedly malfunctioning Sulaco launches an escape pod, which crashes on Fiorina 161, a mostly uninhabited planet that has like a smelting facility and prison on it. Hicks and Newt are both killed in the accident, and Bishop is destroyed beyond repair. Ripley is the only survivor. The prison workers take her in, and she is warned that her mere presence will disturb the cycle of the prison and its inmates, all of which are reborn Christians with pasts of rape and murder. A facehugger makes its way from the escape pod, and impregnates an animal in the prison (a dog or a cow, depending on whether you watch the theatrical cut or the assembly cut), which soon births an alien that wreaks havoc in the prison and Ripley and the inmates attempt to stop it, and the fact is that the prison has little to no weapons complicates trying to kill it. Ripley soon discovers she has been impregnated with an alien queen, and the alien will not kill her because of it, giving her a morbid edge to stop it.

Sigourney Weaver's performance is stellar. The highlight of her acting is in the scene where an autopsy is performed on Newt's corpse. Her facial expression and the sadness she emotes is fantastic, she really sells the tragedy her character has gone through and makes you feel really sorry for her. The supporting cast is all around good, the best of them being Charles Dance and Charles S. Dutton.

The new quadruped alien is quite cool, and it's interesting to watch it's behavioral differences from the aliens in the previous two films. It isn't as sadistic and calculating as the alien in the first film, and being a singular alien, it doesn't have the hive mentality the aliens in the second film. This one is more quick to kill, and does as such more violently than before, possibly to thin out the amount of people who may harm the alien queen when it's born.

There are some aspects of the film that beg for an explanation, most glaringly how exactly an alien egg got on the Sulaco. It seems to work of the alien queen, but it doesn't make much sense how or when she could have put it there. The assembly is quite a bit better than the theatrical cut, but there are two things I prefer from the theatrical cut, the first of which being that the alien comes from a dog rather than a cow (which makes more sense given how it moves), and the second of which being how the alien queen bursts from Ripley's chest as they both fall into the furnace.

Quite a few scripts were written for Alien 3, all of which were vastly different. William Gibson's script was little more than a more EXTREEEEEEME!!! version of Aliens, which would've been pretty lame and not at all interesting. Eric Red's script was horribly bad, containing several plot holes and ridiculous plot points (it had an alien chicken, believe it or not). David Twohy's and Vincent Ward's scripts were interesting, but Twohy's script was too divorced from the previous films, and Ward's script had a major concept that didn't fit in with the series at all (a planet constructed of wood). Aspects of Twohy's and Ward's scripts were combined and rewritten into a different version of Alien 3 by Walter Hill & David Giler and Larry Ferguson that ended up as the finished film, and I'd say what got made was the best of any of the scripts.

David Fincher, the director of Alien 3, has actually since disowned the movie due to his terrible experience of actually making it. His troubles ranged from constant studio interference to the pressure of being the successor to Ridley Scott and James Cameron, and given that it was his first feature length film and he had to deal with so much making it, his directorial work on it is pretty impressive.

It has its flaws, but Alien 3 is ultimately a good movie. It keeps with the tone of the series, adding some new and interesting aspects and conclusively wraps up the story arc of Ripley and the aliens. It's too bad the series had to continue and venture into such lame territory.




Rating - 4.5/10.


After seeing Peter's parents die in an action sequence you'd see in a low tier Bond film, we see Spider-Man battle a villain who seems like he'd be more suited to chasing Rocky and Bullwinkle. Once that villain is in check, we move on to Max Dillon, whose villainous potential is made clear in a scene straight out of Analyze This. The insecure nerd then gets electrical superpowers, and swears a vendetta against Spider-Man because he didn't recognize him right off the bat.

Damn. Well, who wouldn't, right?

The worst part of this movie is the villains. Fearless Leade-uh, I meant the Rhino, is just a cringeworthy cartoon cheeseball. Electro is probably the "best" villain of the movie, faint praise as that is. He has practically no motivation, but at least he's visually interesting. The Green Goblin looks like the lovechild of Johnny Rotten and a troll doll, and he arrives literally seconds after Electro is defeated. That's just extremely lazy writing.

Andrew Garfield isn't that compelling or likable of a lead, although he's not terrible. He does have some chemistry with Emma Stone. The brighter aesthetics are more suitable for a Spider-Man film, a welcome change from the Batman-like aesthetics of The Amazing Spider-Man.

Spider-Man 3 also had a few coincidences in the storyline, but that film was still entertaining and had well-performed and depicted characters. Unlike this film, its merits outweighed its faults.

I'm in the mood for some more High Fidelity-style, list makin' fun...


Alphabetical by director's last name:


But I'm A Cheerleader (Jamie Babbit)

Near Dark (Kathryn Bigelow)

Lost in Translation (Sofia Coppola)

You've Got Mail (Nora Ephron)

American Psycho (Mary Harron)

Clueless (Amy Heckerling)

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Amy Heckerling)

Johnny Dangerously (Amy Heckerling)

The Babadook (Jennifer Kent)

Bridget Jones's Diary (Sharon Maguire)

Big (Penny Marshall)

A League of Their Own (Penny Marshall)

What Women Want (Nancy Meyers)

Away From Her (Sarah Polley)

Stories We Tell (Sarah Polley)

Tank Girl (Rachel Talalay)

Private Parts (Betty Thomas)


Et tu, FOTP?

I love collecting these sort of media items and of course discussing the items themselves. Do you have any of the same titles, and which ones interest you the most? Really, I'd be interested in hearing any general thoughts.


An arrow indicates that the films are sold in a set to explain what seems like an alphabetizing error.



10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
1941 (1979)
28 Days Later... (2002)
Amadeus (1984)
American Psycho (2000)
Anaconda (1997)
Assassins (1995)
^ Cobra (1986) 
^ Demolition Man (1993) 
Bad Santa (2003)
Bad Teacher (2011)
Barbarella (1968)
Basket Case (1982)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
The Boys from Brazil (1978)
Boyz N the Hood (1991)
Bull Durham (1988)
Cabin Fever (2002)
The Cell (2000)
A Christmas Story (1983)
Commando (1985)
Conan the Barbarian (1982)
Contact (1997)
Crank (2006)
Crank: High Voltage (2009)
Cutthroat Island (1995)
Daredevil (2003)
The Dark Crystal (1982)
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Deep Rising (1998)
^ The Puppet Masters (1994)
The Descent (2005)
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
Dreamscape (1984)
Dredd (2012)
Dune (1984)
Election (1999)
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
Event Horizon (1997)
The Faculty (1998)
Falling Down (1993)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars (2004)
The Fifth Element (1997)
Final Destination (2000)
Final Destination 3 (2006)
Flash Gordon (1980)
Forbidden Planet (1956)
Foxcatcher (2014)
The Frighteners (1996)
From Beyond (1986)
The Game (1997)
Ghostbusters (2016)
Godzilla 2000 (1999)
Goosebumps (2015)
Green Lantern (2011)
Grindhouse [Planet Terror/Death Proof] (2007)
Hannibal (2001)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (2005)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011)
The Hateful Eight (2015)
High Fidelity (2000)
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
I Am Legend (2007)
I Love You Phillip Morris (2007)
Independence Day (1996)
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
It Follows (2014)
Jackie Brown (1997)
Jane Got a Gun (2016)
Jawbreaker (1999)
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
John Carter (2012)
John Wick (2014)
Jurassic World (2015)
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
Krull (1983)
Labyrinth (1986)
Lake Placid (1999)
La La Land (2016)
Last Action Hero (1993)
The Last Starfighter (1984)
Legend (1985)
The Legend of Tarzan (2016)
Les Misèrables (2012)
Leviathan (1989)
The Little Mermaid (1989)
Lord of Illusions (1995)
The Lords of Salem (2012)
Madonna: Truth or Dare (1991)
Mallrats (1995)
The Man Who Fell to Earth (1976)
Magic Mike (2012)
Marathon Man (1976)
M.A.S.H. (1970)
Memento (2000)
Men in Black (1997)
The Midnight Meat Train (2008)
Midnight Special (2016)
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016)
Monkey Shines (1988)
The Mummy (1999)
The Mummy Returns (2001)
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
Near Dark (1987)
New Year's Evil (1980)
The Nice Guys (2016)
Nightbreed (1990)
Nightcrawler (2014)
Pacific Rim (2013)
ParaNorman (2012)
The People Under the Stairs (1991)
Phantasm (1979)
Phase IV (1974)
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)
Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping (2016)
Rebirth of Mothra (1996)
Rebirth of Mothra II (1997)
Rebirth of Mothra III (1998)
Red Planet (2000)
Reservoir Dogs (1992)
The Revenant (2015)
Riddick (2013)
Risky Business (1983)
The Road Warrior (1981)
RoboCop (2014)
Robot Jox (1989)
Romancing the Stone (1984)
The Jewel of the Nile (1986)
Rush (2013)
Salem's Lot (1979)
Saturn 3 (1979)
Sausage Party (2016)
Scarecrows (1988)
Scream 2 (1997)
Sean Connery: Volume 2
- Thunderball (1965)
- You Only Live Twice (1967)
- Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Die Another Day (2002)
Skyfall (2012)
SPECTRE (2015)
She's All That (1999)
Sicario (2015)
Sin City (2005)
Sinister (2012)
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)
The Social Network (2010)
Society (1989)
Solomon Kane (2009)
Some Like It Hot (1959)
The Sound of Music (1965)
Species (1995)
Speed (1994)
The Spirit (2008)
Stargate (1994)
Star Trek Beyond (2016)
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Street Fighter (1994)
Suicide Squad (2016)
Tank Girl (1995)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (1976)
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)
Tremors (1990)
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
TRON: Legacy (2010)
UHF (1989)
Under the Cherry Moon (1986)
Universal Soldier (1992)
The Walk (2015)
Warcraft (2016)
Wet Hot American Summer (2001)
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
The Witch (2015)
Xanadu (1980)
The X-Files: Season 2
The X-Files: Season 3
X-Men: First Class (2011)
The Wolverine (2013)
X-Men: Days of Future Past - The Rogue Cut (2014)
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)





I'm taking the plunge and finally posting this jay1 


Specific story arcs/"graphic novels"/limited series:


Batman: The Dark Knight Returns

Earth X

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Volume I

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Volume II

Marvel Zombies



Superman: Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?

The Ultimates


X-Men: God Loves, Man Kills




Superman (Post-Crisis, written by John Byrne/Marv Wolfman)

Ultimate X-Men (specifically when Mark Millar was writing it)



The main ones I'm looking forward to...




On the whole, X-Men is definitely my favorite superhero series, and I've especially loved Hugh Jackman's portrayal of Wolverine ever since the first movie came out 17 years ago. This film also appears to be doing something fairly different from your typical superhero film, which I appreciate. 




I love kaiju flicks and this looks to be quite a bit of fun. Also looking forward to seeing John Goodman in a shady 10 Cloverfield Lane-style role again.




I had mixed feelings on Prometheus but I still have really high hopes for this. The cast and the basic premise are encouraging to me. 




I really liked Gal Gadot in Batman v Superman, and I think the trailers thus far have made this look like quite a good fantasy-adventure flick. 




Loved Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Not a whole hell of a lot else to say, but I am excited.




I'm roughly 100% sure this is gonna flop and flop HARD, but I still think this looks great. I'm surprised and delighted that someone was willing to put money into this just a few years after John Carter and Jupiter Ascending gagged at the box office.


A few others I have some hope for...




Although I do love the Universal Monsters series from the 30s and onward, I'm not totally sold on this yet. I like the idea of doing a modern shared universe in theory, but I'm not too confident in the people they've put in charge here (Alex Kurtzman and Chris Morgan? Really?)... However, I do think Tom Cruise generally has very good taste in blockbusters to appear in, and I respect the man for his dedication to his craft. Hey, who else is gonna hang off an airplane in their mid-fifties just to entertain audiences?




Kingsman was great and I'm glad Colin Firth will be back. 




I did think The Force Awakens was good, but I also hope that Rian Johnson can shake things up a bit here so this doesn't also feel like a "best of" compilation of the original trilogy. I'm sure when more details come out, I'll get a bit more excited.

This only includes completed albums that I've purchased from the iTunes store, might post my CD collection later. Thoughts, comments, recommendations, etc?

All Saints - All Saints
All Saints - Saints & Sinners
Ariana Grande - My Everything
Ariana Grande - Christmas & Chill
Ariana Grande - Dangerous Woman
Ashley Tisdale - Headstrong
Atomic Kitten - Atomic Kitten: The Greatest Hits
B*Witched - B*Witched
Backstreet Boys - Backstreet Boys
Backstreet Boys - Millenium
Beyoncè - B'Day
The Black Eyed Peas - The E.N.D
Blondie - The Best of Blondie
Britney Spears - Britney
Britney Spears - Britney & Kevin: Chaotic
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cast - Once More, With Feeling
Carly Rae Jepsen - EMOTION
Charli XCX - True Romance
Charli XCX - Vroom Vroom
Cheryl - A Million Lights
Christina Aguilera - Bionic
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend OST (Season 1, Vol. 1)
Destiny's Child - #1's
Dua Lipa - Dua Lipa (pre-ordered)
Duran Duran - Greatest
Evanescence - Fallen
Five - Five: Greatest Hits
Garbage - Absolute Garbage
Geri Halliwell - Schizophonic
Geri Halliwell - Scream If You Wanna Go Faster
Geri Halliwell - Passion
Girls Aloud - What Will The Neighbours Say?
Girls Aloud - Ten
Hanson - Middle of Nowhere
Hilary Duff - Metamorphosis
Innosense - So Together
Janet Jackson - Control
JC Chasez - Schizophrenic
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds
Justin Timberlake - 12" Masters: The Essential Mixes
Justin Timberlake - The 20/20 Experience: 2 of 2
Katy Perry - Teenage Dream
Katy Perry - PRISM
Ke$ha - Animal
Ke$ha - Cannibal
Kylie Minogue - Kylie Minogue
Kylie Minogue - Impossible Princess
Kylie Minogue - Fever
Kylie Minogue - Body Language
Kylie Minogue - X
Kylie Minogue - Kiss Me Once
Lady Gaga - The Fame
Lady Gaga - The Fame Monster
Lady Gaga - The Remix
Lady Gaga - Born This Way
Lady Gaga - ARTPOP
Little Mix - DNA
Little Mix - Salute
Lorde - Pure Heroine
M2M - Shades of Purple
Madonna - You Can Dance
Mandy Moore - So Real
Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane
Maroon 5 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long
Maroon 5 - Hands All Over
Maroon 5 - Overexposed
Maroon 5 - V
Melanie C - Northern Star
Melanie C - Reason
Melanie C - Beautiful Intentions
Melanie C - Version of Me
Michael Jackson - Invincible
Miley Cyrus - Bangerz
Mỳa - Fear of Flying
NSYNC - Home for Christmas
NSYNC - No Strings Attached
NSYNC - Celebrity
Paris Hilton - Paris
Peter Gabriel - So
Prince - The Hits/The B-Sides
Rihanna - Rated R
Spice Girls - Spice
Spice Girls - Spiceworld
Spice Girls - Forever
Sugababes - Angels With Dirty Faces
Taylor Swift - 1989
TLC - CrazySexyCool
Tove Lo - Queen of the Clouds
Trolls (2016) OST
Victoria Beckham - Victoria Beckham
Who's That Girl (1987) OST
Willa Ford - Willa Was Here

I'll be adding to this every time I see a film that is a first time viewing for me, and I'll likely add a few words too. I didn't think of posting this on here til now so I'll backdate it with the ones I've already seen this year:


Hobo with a Shotgun (2010) - 6/10. Obviously done with the intention of being tongue-in-cheek, but often a bit overindulgent and not really as funny as it's meant to be.


Jason Bourne (2016) - 6/10. A little boring, but this series has never really been for me to start with. Damon is good in it and there were some good action sequences.


Observe and Report (2009) - 8/10. I found it a lot funnier than Paul Blart: Mall Cop, the other mall security guard movie of that year, this one's a lot weirder and darker. I really get a kick out of Ray Liotta's furious rant towards Ronnie Barnhardt in particular, lol.


Superstar (1999) - 5/10. A few moments here and there (Will Ferrell's dance moves are pretty funny), but pretty lame, even for an SNL movie.


I Love You, Man (2009) - 7/10. Not a whole lot to say, but I find Paul Rudd pretty funny and he has good chemistry with Jason Segel here.


Black Christmas (2006) - 5/10. Pretty stupid and relies on gory shock value way too much.


The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014) - 5/10. So obviously I'm not all that into Tolkien/Middle-Earth in the first place if it took me this long to see this, but yea...this was probably the worst of all the live action films, with Return of the King as a close second. I found it really dull and overly reliant on action, although I guess the title implies that to be fair. There's way too many characters and I found it very scattered as well. 

End of Days (1999) - 6.5/10. Arnie vs. Satan, what else can I say? At least it's not boring.


The Change-Up (2011) - 6/10. Mildly better than I thought it'd be with a lot of juvenile moments, but with some laughs here and there.


The Legend of Zorro (2006) - 4/10. Failed to meet my already low expectations. The Mask of Zorro is obviously far better.