I don't know who of you will read this. I am posting this on another forum too, where some people of this forum go too, and it would seem fair that I share my story here too.
Maybe this is also a little bit for myself? I have been in a really bad place these past few weeks and maybe writing this off will help me with my healing process? I am also sorry to all of my friends on here, especially to the royal squad. I'm sorry that I was never able to tell you guys. But I just can't.
Trigger warning! Do not read this if you are sensitive to explicit stuff.
So yeah, I'm really REALLY REALLY REALLY sorry for putting up this facade. What I want now, is that you don't treat me differently, like I'm some kind of doll or something. Because I am not. I just needed a place to write this down I guess.
Sometimes you say you’re gonna do something. But when you actually want to start, it seems way harder then you can imagine. It’s kinda hard for me to tell you this, not only because it’s really emotional for me, but also because English is not my very first language. I hope I can tell my story crystal clear and I hope y’all will understand it. I really wanted to share this part of my life with you, because FOTP has become a huge part of my life and I don’t know, it’s kinda nice to talk about it with people who don’t you know in real life. And I know you won’t judge me, because most of you has supported me in the past, so I kinda want to share it with you. Okay, here we go.
So, I have been obese for almost all my life now. Not so much it becomes dangerously, but just overweight. I’ve tried a lot of things to lose weight, since I was a kid and in my teenage years. I’ve been too several dietists, I tried out several diets, I went to the gym (at some point I went to the gym four times a week), I even went to see a psychologist to discover why I am not losing weight. After I went to the psychologist, I was kinda desperate and went to my GP. Luckily, my GP is a very nice woman, who I can talk to very nice. She understands me and comes with proper solutions. She came with this solution – a reduction of my stomach, a gastric bypass.
In the first place, I was kinda shook. She told me this was kind of a “last resort” and you can’t return it. So if you do this surgery, you’re bound to it forever. I have overthought this for almost a year – in the mean time I tried to change my life in a healthier one (more fruit, no sugar added drinks), but nothing seemed to work. I didn’t see any results. So I went to my GP again and told her I wanted to do this surgery. I was, and I am still, 200% sure of this decision.
It was a hard decision though. My life will change forever: when everybody is going out for dinner at restaurants, I can only take a small portion, I can’t drink and go out the way I did and ofcourse a lot of more consequences. I overthought this all, but all these negative can’t compete against the positive things. The most positive thing is that I’ll regain my confidence and a positive self image.
The surgery is at March 21st and I can’t tell how nervouw I am. Since I have known the date, I haven’t been sleeping well, almost 3 hours a night. I just can’t stop thinking about it. There are so many questions floating through my head. Mainly, because I don’t know what to expect. I have heard very positive stories, but also very negative stories, about the after care after the surgery. I’m just trying to look and holding on to the future. A gastric bypass gives great results. A colleague at my internship did it and she lost 45 kilograms in 9 months. That’s just amazing!
I hope y’all get it and feel free to ask me anything. <3 I just wanted to let you know this, so you know when I’m not around, or acting different like I do now. <3 I know mass tagging isn't done these days anymore, but I don't care, I just tagged my followers & the people I talk to a lot. Let me become a really skinny legend soon.