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Setting this up to post an informed and educated response to the eternal question “How can you be gay and be studying to be a Pastor?”

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Poetry #2

My life has never been like those that are told and passed down through generations, like the lives that seem to always find a 'happily ever after.' I've seemed to tread through hardship after hardship, bellowing my barks for guidance. Yet, none seemed to find my soul. I've witnessed agony, sheer dread, and utter desolation. Never seen selflessness, pure love, nor absolute satisfaction. I had almost abandoned chasing happiness round and round in circles screaming out in the name of forgiveness, almost reliquished the light that held me on, that so many others christiened "life." But you; you delivered me from the murk and revealed to me the wonders of the universe. I almost gave up.  You found me alone on the pursian rug my mother had given us during holiday, tears, wetting my face. I discovered your hand upon my chest, causing ripples of hope to flourish from your body into mine own. My eyes unsealed to find yours looking fixedly into mine, bearing the same wetness mirrored in mine. I felt my body rise, and my arm extend to dust the tears from your cheek. The repentance I meet within my spirit sends sparks of self-disgust into every crevice of my being. Your hand closes around mine as I feel my body grow weak. What I have done is unforgivable. Your eyes begin to fade, my breath growing heavy. "Love," the only word that finds the energy to escape my lips. My ears catch their final input, your voice whispering your final words to your dying lover, "Goodbye."

SWINΞ

 

Fame (Poetry)

Fame     Born into the universe, engrossed in elegance, I emerge. My body, decrepit, my mind, foolish. I exist as nothing. My body swims through the currents of the ocean of submission. I exist as nothing. Friends, family, Satan, they command me to abominate and I listen. I exist as nothing. I sway to the tunes of conformity; I belt the songs of unity. I exist as nothing. My heart quivers to the melodies of allegiance, I never gamble away my name. A monster, grown and harvested for the sake of their delight, I exist as nothing. Though I can feel the light ripping at the fibers of my soul, screaming to set me free, the demons inside myself hold me in place. I exist as nothing.      Hope has faded. My fears have perished. My body, a shell, moves forward through the murk of the universe, forever soul-less. The light has died, the songs have been dampened. I cry alone. Whispers are yelled, shouts are quieted, people know my name, and yet I still know nothing. I exist as a slave. No escape in my clearest of vision, no love to be found. The vultures of fame take all of me, desperate to taste my blood that has been tainted by the alcohol of beauty. I give and do not receive. I try yet do not secure. I exist as everything.

SWINΞ

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