Someone wise once said "life without love is meaningless" perhaps I snapped when I said that. After breaking up with @Hylia in March, in the wee-hours of my anniversary celebrations, I discovered he had a ring for me, as a gift. I already married him once, gave him full custody of our three children, Tori, Mariah and Sylk Jr. and left his world for good, but going through the divorce, knowing what it meant to be away from him, knowing who I was without him... I knew I could not go back. I left with my fingers bare that night. Needless to say, Hylia and I have remained excellent friends since, our number one priority will always be our kids. But I still see that ring box sitting on the desk in his living room everytime I go to visit the kids. Does he still love me? I wonder.
Despite the doubts, I was persistent to stay single there after, even though guys were coming left and right I decided that I needed some time off, ofcourse @Jae kept texting me, @Aidan. kept leaving flowers at my door, and @Winnie. kept stalking me, but I was done with men. I was done with all of them. I even deleted the picture of @SWINΞ I had kept when I had grown quite the crush on him. It felt liberating. Something was different in me, I felt new, even my friends @Arya and @Mitski said so.
It's a funny thing really, it's easy to be in your world, build it exactly to tend to your needs, easy to be alone but we have a biological desire to welcome another in this bubble that we've built. Nature's way to bend you. So it made complete sense when i met someone, it was the universe's way of telling me, the time was right. My October nights were suddenly filled with conversation about love and life, talk that went on till the sun came up, even though we both had work we didn't care. His words were so beautiful, the way he spoke, his thoughts, his mind, it amazed me. I had never felt such a fire before, except maybe with Hylia. But this was so much more.
Still I was scared, I did not want to lose him. I guess after losing so many people in my life. I really wanted this to work. I have not told him yet, but I feel alot of love for him, yes I love him. And I wanna tell him, soon. But uncertainty still echoes at the far back of my mind, Does he still love me?
To be continued....