Since the time of entry #1, M and I have made up several times over and over. I promised to love him better, but I couldn't. It was probably my jealousy and insecurity that lead to this bitter end. I just wanted him to treat me better and make me feel wanted. I've communicated this to him many times, but each time he always called me "crazy". When I don't communicate anything and just deleted him from my friend's list, he would be asking, "Why did you delete me? Why don't you communicate?", but when I did communicate, I get called crazy. I don't understand how relationships/men's brain work. I'm pretty sure I'm a very direct person too, and never beats around the bush, so there shouldn't be any language issues from my end. Like when he told me not to talk to other guys in the game, I followed his instruction, but when I want him to spend more time with me instead of his friends, I get called "crazy"... I don't understand this hypocrisy.
On the 18th of January 2021, I finally deleted him for the 100th time, because he just couldn't compromise to my demands, and also he kept avoiding the issue by saying I'm crazy and that he was tired from martial arts training. He also claimed that he sacrificed a lot to spend time with me online in the game. I don't know if I believe him, because he only comes on when his other friends come on... but when nobody else is online, he would stay for 2 minutes and then log off.
I would probably give in if he asks me to come back or re-add me, but I won't re-add him if he doesn't apologise or address the issue of him always prioritising talking to his friends over me.
Disclaimer: This is not a fan-fiction.
I met a nice boy from Greece in December, 2020 in an online game, let's call him "M" for anonymity purposes. He was very cute and funny. At first, when he said he's in love with me, I thought it was a joke, so I just played along with it and thought of it as a joke. But soon, feelings started to develop. M told me all of his stories, like his 4 year old nephew who bossed everyone in the house including him, and always slept in his bed even without M's permission.
Like any other couple, fightings and arguments were inevitable, usually the most petty of things in hindsight; he would get mad if I told him to go to bed, and to not stay up until 3AM (his timezone) just to talk with me. He would get jealous if I talked to other guys in the game or add them as friends. I deleted him many times when he got erratic or jealous.
I always told him to go away forever whenever I got mad at him, and every time, he would find me and come back to the same game table as me. I always ended up making up with him and we would talk again and laugh again like nothing's happened.
Third/Fourth of January, 2021: This time, however, I fear I may have gone too far, I called him "Hitler" as a joke because he was sometimes controlling, he was very offended by it and told me that I shouldn't have called him "Hitler" because millions of Greeks were killed during the Nazi Regime. I apologised, but he was very mad and stopped talking to me. So I got mad at him and left the game early, he deleted me. The next day, he came back to my game table, I called him "Hitler" again because I was still mad at him, then he cursed at my dad.
Then I got really mad at him and told him I would never forgive him.
He has since deleted his account, I feel like this time, he is gone forever. I always told him to go away, but then I would miss him the very next day. I don't know if he will come back to find me.
I already miss him and feel really empty inside. If he ever comes back, I would treat and love him better and would never tell him to go away ever again. 💔💔💔
I miss you, M. 💔💔💔
Unforgettable moments with M
Sometimes he would forget to switch his keyboard back to English, one time he typed "lol" in Greek letters "λολ", ever since then, I made fun of him and always typed λολ when I laughed at his jokes.
Whenever he lost in the game, I would laugh at him just to make him mad.
His nephew bought him a watch, I asked him what was the model, I looked it up online and told him it was only worth 5 Euros, he said his sister bought it for 200 Euros. It turns out that he gave me the wrong model number because the watch was put into an old watch box due to his nephew breaking the original box packaging.