MEGHAN TRAINOR // THANK YOU

I enjoyed doing the Lemonade review a couple weeks ago, so I thought I'd continue. I don't really fancy myself a Meghan Trainor stan, but given that she's seemingly trying to move away from her Title sound, who knows what will happen by the end. This is a first listen review btw, except for NO + Me Too. Leggo.

1. WATCH ME DO - 1/5

The production here feels super scatterbrained, and I'm tired of hearing about Meghan's "breasteses", frankly.

2. ME TOO - 3/5

Besides the fact that this beat is a shameless ripoff of Steve Aoki's Boneless, the song is pretty okay. I hope this whole album doesn't follow the same subject though, cuz like...I get it, you love yourself. I'm very happy for you and everything, but I don't need a whole album of it. "My life's a movie, Tom Cruise, so bless me baby, achoo" -- umm, yikes. Weren't you a professional songwriter for a number of years before you started doing your own music? C'mon Mary, I know you can do better than that  

3. NO - 3/5

How 'bout NO.

Jk, it's okay. Hate the intro and I don't like the stripped back chorus before it goes all out for the second one, but overall it's a cute bop. It's gotten stuck in my head pretty regularly since she released it as a single, so that's a good sign right? The "I'm feelin' untouchable, untouchable" is enjoyable, and gives me a little throwback feeling to Keri Hilson's Pretty Girl Rock (say what you want about Keri Hilson, but you can't help but feel good about yourself when that comes on).

4. BETTER FEAT. YO GOTTI - 4/5

Okay, why is it that every song on this album immediately reminds me of something else?  first three seconds and I'm harkened back to Rihanna's Watch n' Learn. At first I thought it was a producer thing (a la Red One or JR Rotem), but WNL was Hitboy and this is someone named Ricky Reed. Overall I'm liking the tropical-feeling influences. Yo Gotti was super unnecessary to this whole thing, and I wish it was longer. Probably my favorite on the album so far though.

5. HOPELESS ROMANTIC - 1/5

I get that this wouldn't be a pop album without a ballad in the middle, but it just seems so unnecessary and been-there, done-that. It does absolutely nothing interesting or new. Cliched as fuck, brah.

6. I LOVE ME FEAT. LUNCHMONEY LEWIS - 2/5

I like the production overall but the message is...tired, by this point. Just like Trini Dem Girls, LunchMoney Lewis remains completely unnecessary and unimportant to the song.

7. KINDLY CALM ME DOWN - 4/5

This feels like something out of a movie soundtrack, but in a good way. It's much better than Hopeless Romantic, I just wish she stopped repeating so damn much. I get it, it's a psychological thing to get it stuck in peoples' heads, but you don't need to repeat "I take it" thirty times in a four minute song. It's a sweet song tho.

8. WOMAN UP - 1/5

I didn't realize I was watching High School Musical.

9. JUST A FRIEND TO YOU - 2/5

Fuck the ukulele. The message is good though, so that gives her an extra point.

10. I WON'T LET YOU DOWN - 3/5

The beat sounds like either the credits after a movie, or the intro to a sitcom. But I dunno, I kinda like it  It kinda makes you tap your feet without realizing it. "I know that I haven't taken the time, to tell you that you're beautiful" -- you sure? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's what 95% of this album has been about  

11. DANCE LIKE YO DADDY - 1/5

This is a creepy title, and sounds like a leftover from Title. Is Meghan turning into an upbeat Lana?  

The "Simon says touch your nose, but Meghan says touch your toes" line + followup is ridic, and to say it more than once  

12. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS - 2/5

Maybe it's partially the title causing me to subconsciously associate them, but the chorus kinda gives me Boy Problems teas. The Fifth Harmony-on-steroids product placement namedrops are mad awk, the production is dated, and the premise is generally weird. But I find myself tapping my foot regardless  the outro is so uncomfortably awkward sounding, bye.

13. MOM FEAT. KELLI TRAINOR - 1/5

"I didn't realize I was watching High School Musical", part deux.

Also, a PSA to any and all songwriters: a voicemail/voiceover is not a replacement for a bridge. Stop.

14. FRIENDS - 2/5

This is just a less catchy version of Cheers (Drink to That). 

15. THANK YOU FEAT. R. CITY - 2/5

I like this dude's intro part -- is that the chorus? I hope so.

Aaaaannndddd no it's not. Meh.

TOTAL:

32 / 75, or 43%

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I liked more of the album than I did Title, but I don't typically listen to her particular type of music, so do with that what you will. If you like Meghan Trainor, you'll probably like this album. If you don't, you'll probably find yourself bopping to a few of the tracks but never really falling in love. It doesn't feel like it has much of an identity. The tracks themselves are relatively cohesive, sure, but as a whole, the album never quite clicks in a way that will really win you over if you're not already a fan.