This past week something has occurred that I never thought would happen in a million years. I am actually stanning an Ari album. I don't Like Yours Truly at all. It's not my kind of music. My Everything has some cute songs but otherwise it's just nothing special imo. Dangerous Woman however is amazing. Ariana completely shattered my expectations. She really could have kicked off the era in a worse way. Focus is completely crap. I'm so glad she ditched the Moonlight title and album. Cause I'm sure it would have been a ME rehash or some other basic shit. Now, while I find the album to be amazing, the art direction sure as hell isn't. The album shoot bar a few pics, the messy polaroid-esque covers (which some do like @Hyun.)

Anyway, I plan to a track by track review for the entire album. That will include all bonus tracks. So, without further adieu, let the review commence!

MOONLIGHT:
Okay, so this was the original album title and the original album was probably much more in the vein of this and Focus. Thank the fucking gods she ditched it. Unfortunately she did not ditch this song. Don't get me wrong Moonlight is a cute little bop but it does not fit on the album at all. And is there a worse place to put it than right at the fucking start. It's literally like a god damn lullaby. Like Ari sis come on. I get she likes it a lot. But just throw it on an EP with Focus and put that out. Don't sacrifice the crucial opening moment of an album just because you still wanna include your fav song from an album concept you scrapped. Anyway, rant over. Moving on.

DANGEROUS WOMAN:
Now this should have opened the album. It sets the mood straight away. It's amazing. Ari executed a flawless midtempo. One of many on the album. When this was released as the first taste of Dangerous Woman I was hooked. Had this not came out I probably wouldn't have given a fuck about the album. For the first time something Ariana did actually captured my attention. This song is pure gold. It's so good. The vocals in the hooks slay lives. "I wanna savor / Save it for later /The taste of flavor / Cause I'm a taker / Cause I'm a giver / It's only nature / I live for danger". Can we just stop and discuss the fucking slayage of that line. This is what the true opening song should have been. It would have been such a killer, powerful opening. Ari why did you pass up this opportunity  

BE ALRIGHT:
I really loved this song when she first performed it on SNL or whatever show it was. I love how it has a very very slight tinge of the tropical house trend without being reductive. The finger snaps throughout are a nice touch. It's easy and breezy. I don't know how well it really fits on the album necessarily. It strikes me as a song that was probably written for Moonlight and made it onto Dangerous Woman. Luckily Be Alright fits a lot more on the album than Moonlight. I think this would have worked slightly better had it been placed before Side To Side. The reggae/tropical vibes would have complimented each other nicely. 

INTO YOU:
Okay Ariana. Where the fuck were you hiding this. THIS IS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE. What a song. It's been a while since a song has slayed me so fucking hard. Everything about this song shits on careers. And it's a shame this will probably never get the level of slayage it deserves chart wise. First we got the heavenly pre-chorus and then it comes crashing into the phenomenal chorus. Okay now can we discuss THE FUCKING BRIDGE. It's so fucking epic. This song is just everything. Ari sis. Why did you waste time on Foshit when you are capable of producing stuff like this. This is a conspiracy. She is single handedly trying to ruin has success. Ari stop this madness right now and make the bops the singles and give em flawless videos and let them slay like they deserve to  

SIDE TO SIDE (FEAT. NICKI MINAJ):
Ariana and Nicki are legit the dream team. They can do no wrong together. What even is this piece of reggae slayage. This song got me moving side to side in some kinda fucked up line dance shit and I don't even know. This song does things to me. Then Nicki comes in with ha caribbean tinged verse and I just die and transcend to heaven where we all be moving side to side and bopping  Slay with that dick bicycle. This song is just so infectious. It gets stuck in your head so fucking quick. The pre-chorus just builds before it crashes into the chorus which just gets you moving without even realizing it. Fuck Jay Z and Bey. Nicki and Ari need to do an album together  I LIVE for this  

LET ME LOVE YOU (FEAT. LIL WAYNE):
If I didn't decide this was gonna be a track by track review I would pretend this doesn't exist. First of all I detest Lil Wayne. Second this song is such a snoozefest. Like Ari must have thought everyone be too tired of dancing side to side that she needed to give them nyquil in audio form. Good bye.  

GREEDY:
Then right out of fucking nowhere Ari jerks you back to consciousness from the abysmal state of drowsiness she just induced you into with ha operatic GRRREEEEEEEEEDDAAAAAYYYYYYYY opening to this song. This song is such a bop  The pre-chorus is repetitive but does its job of being catchy as hell. The then chorus comes crashing in and got me just like  And the the GREEEEEEEDDDDDDAAAAAAYYYYYY returns in the chorus and got me like  The chorus is just so infectious. The whole song is a total ear worm. Ari sis why did you have to smash a clunker in between to smashes  

LEAVE ME LONELY (FEAT. MACY GRAY):
Woo lawd. This song. This is how you do a fucking midtempo. The atmosphere of this song is fucking incredible. Macy Gray really makes this song. Her sections are phenomenal. They really add a much needed dimension to this song. Her deep vocals give a darker, rougher feeling to the song and it is so so great. Ari and Macy could do such an epic film noir video for this and it would slay so fucking hard. Come through queens  This is so much better than the snoozefest two songs back  

EVERYDAY (FEAT. FUTURE):
This was great then the chorus came in. Good bye sis.  

SOMETIMES:
The opening la la la la la la's really threw me off. I was like wtf is this folk shit  This song is cute overall. It's another that seems like its from Moonlight to me. Not one of my faves but its definitely not bad by any means. It's one of those cute album tracks that is just there.

I DON'T CARE:
This album seems to be taking a downward turn with the last few tracks. This is a traditional Ari ballad imo. Nothing crazy special about it. But it's cute and not the worst song so that's a plus I guess  

BAD DECISIONS:
Okay now the bops are back. This is great. We got dat hood love, we got dat good love  I don't make bad decisions but I'm gonna bop to this like I do  This song continues a common element throughout most of the uptempos on the album with having a huge crashing chorus. Which I really love so this album is straight up my alley. 

TOUCH IT:
Okay why the fuck was this holy anthem kept till so far at the end  Ari sis this is incredible. This song oozes sex out of every pore without trying to hard. The chorus is fucking immense. The pulsing in the chorus just pounds into your skull when listening through good headphones. And the fucking bridge yet again. The vocal effect is so great and the quick build up to the final explosion which completely demolished my weave. Ari blew it clean off. Obliterated every fucking follicle  Everybody wanna touch it  yassss queen  

KNEW BETTER / FOREVER BOY:
Normally I hate when artists pull this. Half a song stitched onto a full song. Like stop being a lazy hoe and complete the first part and separate the two for fucks sake  I still hate that Ari did it but at least both parts are flawless. Actually that makes me hate ha for doing it even more. Bitch get your shit together  

THINKING BOUT YOU:
Okay queue the tears. This song hits me in places so fucking hard. I legit cried. It's so relatable and its so heavenly and beautiful. The gloriously sparse first chorus  The bridge into the last epic chorus  This song is fucking incredible  Ari sis how did you create such a masterpiece  I relate to this just soo much  I can't even deal  brb I need to cry again  

STEP ON UP:
Ari bringing that motivational anthem. This just gets you going and on your feet  Just pumps you up  It's a tad repetitive but I think it works in this songs case. I really really love the a cappella final lines. I think its a great way to end the song  

JASON'S SONG (GAVE IT AWAY):
This is cute but not really anything special imo. But I can bop to it a bit. And her vocals are pretty great on here. Props to Ari for closing the album on a high note  

Alright, so Dangerous Woman is hands down my favorite album from Ariana. It's also her best and anyone who thinks otherwise can fight me.  Again I'm so glad we got this over Moonshit. I don't even wanna imaging what kind of a mess that would have been. Ain't no one here for yo lullabies and Problem rehashes Ariana  Pull yourself together and get the quality music out. We know you can as so many songs on Dangerous Woman are more than proof of that  I definitely plan to be bopping hardcore to this album for quite a while  It's just so good  Ari really outdid herself  Not that that was difficult by any means but still  

And with that my incredibly messy Dangerous Woman review is finished  If you actually read the whole thing I hope you enjoyed it  I hope you also manage to get the life back that you wasted on reading this  And before the Ari stans come in to drag me from dragging Moonshit  Lemme say I do not give a fuck  Y'all are grown ass thinks and should not be listening to these lullabies  Next y'all gonna be asking yo daddies to sing this shit to you  Step yo bussies up and stan the true bops on the album  This has been a review by BLUE. in case you didn't already know  Goodnight sluts