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I am drained


Hylia

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I woke up at about 5 AM today because my dad was having surgery today, and so my parents and I got everything packed for the hospital and headed up there, and before long they took him back to begin the pre-op process. My grandpa arrived at the hospital right afterward, followed by my grandma (they're divorced), so it was my mom and I sitting with the how of them in the waiting area and things were going pretty great, and everyone was getting along. I got up to use the bathroom, but when I came back my mom had tears in her eyes, which I assumed were just related to her being worried about my dad. I asked her what was wrong, and she replied "I'm just pissed off at how people are judging other people like this", with my grandma firing back "well some people just have opinions that everyone doesn't agree with". Clearly, something happened during my trip to the bathroom.

 

I asked my mom if she wanted to get up and walk with me for a minute so I could find out what happened, so we walked off into a hallway, and she began telling me what happened, which took me for a complete spin. A cousin of mine, who happens to be a lesbian, hot brought up in a conversation and my grandpa said "it's not related to my religion, but I just don't believe in the gay lifestyle" followed by my grandma actually saying how she doesn't "understand" the gay lifestyle either. My mom had gotten mad over them talking like that due to her support of the LGBT community, and that's about when I had come out of the bathroom. I started crying because, well, both of my grandparents had just blatantly made homophobic remarks, something I never thought would never happen. These are the same grandparents I've known and loved my whole life. My mom and I sat back down, and my grandpa came up to me and said "I didn't know you felt so strongly about this, but I just don't approve of the lifestyle and I hope you can forgive me for that" (he doesn't, or didn't know I was gay at that moment). After he walked away, my mom went over to where my grandparents were sitting and basically dragged my grandpa over his hypocrisy, claiming to be a good Christian but casting judgement himself, then she came and sat back with me when she was finished.

 

After we talked for a bit, my mom straight up asked me if I was gay. Naturally, I came out with it and said yes, and she told me she's had a feeling I was for years now and that it's not a problem with either her or my dad, and that they both love me no matter what. Shortly afterward, my dad came out of recovery and they had him in a room so we all went to find it, with my grandpa speaking like 5 words to my dad before leaving, afraid my mom would probably drag him again. My mom explained the whole thing to my dad, and as my mom and I were leaving the hospital for the night, he told me he was proud of me. That, and the moment with my mom, are moments I'll never forget. Unfortunately, my grandpa talking to me the way he did will also be a moment I never forget.

 

tl;dr: In the midst of my dad having surgery, my grandpa told me to my face he didn't approve of the "gay lifestyle" and my grandma said she "didn't understand it", leaving me an emotional wreck pretty much. My dad's surgery was successful, and what matters now is that he's recovering and my parents 100% support me.

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The most important thing is that your both parent support you and you live with them so that's the thing that matters most. I'm happy about it Hylia <3 consider yourself lucky because my dad wasn't that fair with my sexuality. hug1 

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I'm so sorry about what your grandparents told you, homophobia comes from ignorance, they might not understand it now, but I'm sure they will come around. Not just for you but for your cousin as well. But I'm very happy that your parents fully support you. Also glad to hear that your Dad's surgery went well! Just remember that the most beautiful thing to come out of this was your parent's full support! Sending you love xo 

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I think that we all have bittersweet moments like this in life. It's sad that your grandparents aren't supportive but it's a good thing that your parents are and you should focus on that. Sometimes it can be difficult to deal with someone who means a lot to you but doesn't accept you for who you are, unfortunately there's not much you can do about this but you should remember to never blame yourself for any strain in the relationship with your grandparents, it's their loss if they can't accept you. But you have supportive parents and that's worth remembering and being thankful for. Glad to hear that your dad is recovering hug1

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2 minutes ago, Skyline said:

it's their loss if they can't accept you

they'd be losing a legend as a grandson btw

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Sorry to hear that your grandparents grandparents said fall1

Though i'm glad you finally came out and that your parents are 100% supportive about it hug1

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Thanks for all the support everyone, it means a lot. I never imagined coming out would happen like this, but that's just how the cookie crumbles

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Omg I am really super proud of you! It's incredibly difficult to be in situations like the one you described but I'm very glad that you told your Mom. Hopefully you feel like a bit of a weight has been lifted off of you. Despite how your Grandparents feel, what's important is that you've told your Mom. In due time, hopefully you will be able to tell your Grandparents as well, and hopefully they will come around. Congrats! hug1

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Omg I just teared up cry8 I'm really happy for you that your parents are super accepting about it! And honestly, if your grandparents can't accept that, that's their problem. Hopefully they will learn to one day. 

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32 minutes ago, LadyGootGoot said:

Omg I am really super proud of you! It's incredibly difficult to be in situations like the one you described but I'm very glad that you told your Mom. Hopefully you feel like a bit of a weight has been lifted off of you. Despite how your Grandparents feel, what's important is that you've told your Mom. In due time, hopefully you will be able to tell your Grandparents as well, and hopefully they will come around. Congrats! hug1

My grandma knows now and she wasn't bothered by it, she just doesn't "understand" it. sia3 It's something I guess

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Grandparents and the older generations can be very ignorant when it comes to the LGBTQ community. My grandparents are similar. What's important though is that your mom and dad support you! That's something that a lot of LGBTQ people don't have and it's a blessing to have the full support of your parents. My parents accept me and love me, but my sexuality is something that is not often mentioned orangu1 

 

 Also, I'm so glad that your dad's surgery went well. 

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First of all, I'm glad your dad's surgery went well cry9

Second, I can somewhat relate, both of my parents support me but I have grandparents who are pretty homophobic. What matters most (as I'm sure has been said above already sia3) is that they support you. I hope things get better with your grandparents and they open up to it and become more tolerant (/understanding) hug1 

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