Episode One - "Thank You For Being A Fag!"
"This is it" Sylk thought, as she hit the upload button on her latest ASMR video, "Whispering... Cock In 80 Different Languages." After barely a minute had passed, Sylk noticed she was losing thousands of subscribers by the minute. "What could I have done wrong?" Sylk thought, however she eventually went on with her day. She was too excited to let this bring her down, as three wonderful ladies would be moving in with her today. Taylor Nylund, 68. Sylk had met her at the nearest Walmart while looking for extra-strength Trojan condoms, and they quickly hit it off. Taylor is... maybe not the brightest lady in the world, but she has a great heart. They share a mutual love for men and both have plans to go out to a strip club later tonight, where they will hopefully hit it off with a few hot daddies. Taylor's husband, Aidan, had sadly passed away a few months ago, and she was looking for a new place to stay. Once she told Sylk about this, her face immediately lit up and she offered Taylor a room at her place, as she was looking for roommates as well.
Knock knock. Sylk hears the door and rushes to open it. "Hannah?" Sylk said, "I was really hoping this would be Taylor, but I guess you'll do!" Hannah glared at Sylk. Hannah was another one of the three ladies she had met along the way. Hannah Zbornak. 70. Her mother, Hylia Zbornak, was coming along with her as well. Sylk had three rooms available, one for each. Hylia had been living at the nursing home a few blocks down, Shady Penis, but it sadly burned down recently. No one is really sure what happened, although Hannah likes to think it was due to Hylia playing one of her many Tori Amos CDs one too many times. "Hello there, Hylia!" Sylk said. "Oh hey there, I've heard a lot about you. Keep your giant dildo collection away from both myself and my daughter." Hylia said. "Well hello to you too!" Sylk says back to her, as she carries Hylia's suitcase into the next room. "I'm sorry, Sylk, my mother suffered a small stroke a few years back, which was rendered her an annoying cunt." Hannah says, walking with her suitcase alongside Sylk.
Knock. Knock. Knock. Sylk hears the sound of the door again, and she heads back to the living room to open it. "Hey there!" Taylor says, letting herself in immediately. "Oh finally, I was hoping it was you, Taylor!" Sylk says back. As Taylor makes her way in, she sees Hannah and Hylia sitting on the couch, and she immediately waves and introduces herself. "Oh hey, you must be Hannah and Hylia Zbornak? I'm Taylor!" she says. "Hi Taylor, yes, my name is Hannah and this is my mother, Hylia." Hannah says back to her. "Great, we've all met! Now let's get this party started!" Sylk says. "Wait, what party?" Taylor says, looking confused. Sylk went shopping earlier and bought a new Mariah Carey vinyl for her record player. She puts it on, and it starts playing. ♫♪ "Somewhere in another life... we stole a moment in time.." ♪♫ "Turn that shit off, you slut. My ears are bleeding, and I don't even have my hearing aids turned up." Hylia says to Sylk. "You are nothing but a JLo stanning rat! And as Godriah Carey is my witness, I will never apply your wig again!" Sylk says in response to Hylia. "Again? My wig remains firmly planted on my scalp, in fact, I think my real hair grew back after hearing that god awful song." Hylia says. "Ladies, ladies, let's not start fighting less than an hour after moving in with each other. This is not a good sign!" Taylor says to everyone. They all agreed.
"I have an idea!" Taylor says, as she makes her way to the Kitchen. "Let's cook dinner, I'm starving!" Taylor begins cooking, while Sylk turns on her new 4k Ultra HD Flatscreen TV, where she searches for the latest episode of Wendy Williams. Hylia searches for her suitcase, where she finds her vinyl addition of "Music Of The Sun" to put on and drown out Sylk saying "how you doin'?" back to Wendy on the TV. The ladies all eat dinner, and then Sylk and Taylor head to their rooms to get ready for that strip club they planned on going to. Sylk makes sure to get out her best wig, meanwhile Taylor finds her best push-up bra. It is now 9:00 PM, and both ladies are ready. They head back out to the living room and ask Hannah if she'd like to join them. "No, thank you. I don't really do strip clubs." Hannah says. "Legend has it Hannah has not seen a man unclothed since 1983, I wouldn't invite her to your activities, ladies!" Hylia says to both Sylk and Taylor. They all laughed. Both of them head to the front door and leave, yelling out "We'll tell you all about it when we're back, ladies! Don't burn the house down while we're gone!" They both speed off in Taylor's sports car, and the lyrics to Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams" blaring from the radio can be heard even inside the house. Just as Hannah starts heading for the bathroom, she hears a knock at the door. She heads to the door and opens it... "Cody?!" Hannah says frantically. "What are you doing here?" she asks Cody as her heart starts pounding....
* = main cast, not in this episode
** = recurring role, or future main cast member / not yet introduced in the Character Guide
*** = will be a guest star in the future
@Taylor as Taylor Nylund
@Sylk as Sylk Devereaux
@Hannah. as Hannah Zbornak
@Hylia as Hylia Petrillo
@Daenerys as Cody Zbornak
@Kali as Kali Swift*
@TattooedHeart as Lily Zbornak*
@Saiga as Saiga Ciccone*
@Hyun. as Hyun Williams*
@Diamond as Scott Clark*
@Hermione as Herman Smith**
@Halcyon as Jakob Thompson**
@Maraj as Maraj Minaj**
@Aidan. as Aidan Nylund (deceased)
@Dr. Slay as Slay Robinson***
@Juinae as Juinae Garcia***
@Royale as Royale Carey***