This isn't a cry for help...but something that I want to connect with you guys
Have you ever felt like something's wrong with you? As if you're not good enough? Do you ever think that other people are better than you because there are things that they can do that you can't? I feel like that everyday. I feel that I don't really have the same mind set as anyone else, like I can't do anything right. I'm not smart, I probably don't know how to solve problems by myself. It's like I'm unable to do anything. But I'm not in a wheel chair so I can walk, I have hands and arms to reach and grab things. But that's not the issue, the issue is my mentality. I wish I was like other people who knows how to work hard and think straight. I don't know why God even punished me like this I don't like the way I am, I never asked to be born, why do I feel like I don't belong or that I'm a waste of space? Sometimes I'll have nights where I cry, feeling sorry for myself and that I'm not good enough for anyone or that I'm too much. I don't know why I have people who care about me (friends, family etc) when all I do is cause trouble or push them away. I was trying to escape from home, not caring if I die in the streets because all I wanted to do was not exist anymore. I would always have thoughts of self-harming because all I wanted to do was feel pain, and the more I cause harm to myself maybe eventually I'll lay on the floor not being able to feel pain anymore. I don't want anyone to feel bad for me because I'm no one to have a pity party. To be honest, I'm not super open about how I feel so telling you guys these things really help me. Thank you for reading I know I don't come often because of so many things I'm dealing with but as always stay in tune with my blogs you guys know I enjoy you reading them and giving them likes. You guys are my little pumpkin patch and i love you!
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