On 16th November, Legend vocalist Mariah Carey released her 15th Studio Album titled “Caution”. On the day of the album release, multiple wigs were reported missing and FOTP user Sylk had to be escorted to the ER. “We thought we were gonna lose him, it was scary.” a close friend by the name of @Hylia said. “He had severe burns on his scalp.” Said another insider, @Venus XCX. “I’m sending my thoughts and prayers.” Said a distant mutual @Lachlan.
Sylk had immediately been put on a light dosage of Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel, the doctors reported. “We don’t want to give him anything strong, just the first verse and chorus of Candy Bling to keep his heart steady.” Doctor Ramanshan Amperputi told TMZ. After several hours of being closely monitored, he was allowed to be visited by next of kin, “It was really emotional for me to see him there, like that.” Said @Mitski who was one of the first to see him. “That bitch thought he could handle listening to Caution in one sitting…” Said long-time rival @Taylor
By the evening conditions had improved enough for Sylk to be moved to a general ward, he had been shocked to learn that the patient he shared his room with was none other than @Royale. “Both of them are very dear to the Lambily on FOTP. We’re all praying for them.” Said a close friend of both, @LittleDudeNT5.
The same evening, Sylk awoke to a mountain of flowers, towering as high as the room’s ceiling. So large, that a nurse attempting to change Sylk’s diapers had accidentally died when some of it had toppled onto her, rendering her unable to breath. The family of said nurse refused to file a lawsuit citing that they had too much respect and love for Sylk, instead they went out and purchased more flowers along with copies of Caution in honor of their departed one.
Among the flowers were cards from the people that had sent them. “On behalf of the Lana clique, we wish you the best of health.” One said, signed by @Americunt and @Hunty Bear. “Come back to us in full health, legend.” @Divine and @Luca had written. “My son, my heart, come back to me, stay with me.” Pleaded @QUINN alongside a bouquet of Daffodils. Among well-wishers and fans, were also old flames, “Baby, don’t leave me. You’re my everything. I can’t live without you.” @Jae had written in a suspiciously red ink, “MARRY ME.” One had simply said, signed @Aidan. next to a heart shaped arrangement of white roses and a ring. “Stay with me.” @Joel had said. “With You…” another one simply read, atop a gorgeous vase of white lilies, Sylk’s favorite flower. That one had been signed by @Winnie..
More flowers and cards had been sent to Sylk than he could read. @TattooedHeart, @SWINΞ, @Baekhyun., @Dr. Slay, @Quill, @Hermione, @Chris Morlock etc had all sent written to him. His Pop Industry colleagues @CHANEL #1, @Habits, @RihannaRTT, @Chris Pratt, @Ghostface, @Party Monster etc pooled in their money to buy him a giant butterfly shaped flower arrangement with treats and trinkets stuffed in it. Fans @Infrared, @Liam, @Mamacita, @Merryem, @Michael., @Vulnicura.,@Arya@Dennis Reynolds, @Freaky Prince, @Entea @Urbanovand many more and even hater @Jjang had sent him well wishes. He was over the moon as he read them one by one. And by night, he had returned to full health, as the doctors played him Vision of Love with zero signs of wig snatching, he was ready to listen to Caution again.
So, he arrived home, sat down on his computer and began his review for Caution, the album that had almost taken his life.
I love it. It’s excellent. There is a certain type of tragedy to the mood of the song. It is really a very well-done song, you’d expect something titled ‘GTFO’ to be very tacky, but it’s far from it, it’s quirky, happy, sad, angry all at once. Although quite repetitive, she sounds amazing on it, the harmonies, the lyrics, the production, the random horn that appears every now and then. It’s one of those songs that really has a timeless quality to it. And the soft way of saying “Get the fuck out...”. We have decided to stan forever. I give it 4 Wendys.
To put the rumors that I was a hater of this song to rest, yes, I hated it when it first came out. Hate is a strong word actually, perhaps I was just disappointed. GTFO was really good, and this song was first single? It was confusing to me. The main problem I had with this song was how monotonous it was, it didn’t really go anywhere. Mustard on that beat where? No wonder mustard is my least favorite condiment. But I have to say, hearing it now after a month, I’ve grown to like it. It’s quite a soft song and as someone exploring the realm of love at the moment, I can personally relate to it. I like it far more now than I did before. I give it 3 Wendys.
It’s okay we have 911 on speed-dial, just in-case we have another Hospital tangent coming on. So, this is the first new song on the album we hear. I like it a lot. That’s all I have to say about it. It’s not too exciting to me, but just enough to not have me reaching for the skip button. The harmonies at the bridge are very good. This is a classic Mariah song. I love the lyrics, it sets the mood for the rest of the album. I give it 3 Wendys.
A No No
Anyways… I cannot stress how much I don’t like this song. It’s cute for a certain moment. But it starts abruptly, it feels out of place and it just feels like a throwback moment, which now that I hear in the progression of the album, it makes sense, but I didn’t need it to make sense, I didn’t need to hear this at all, so we’re just gonna pretend we didn’t just do that. 2 Wendys.
The Distance (ft. Ty Dolla Sign)
What a gorgeous song. Just straight up bop. I love the different verses on it, I LOVE the cheerleading bit, love the Skrillex touch on it, the production is so good. Usually, I dislike when rap features croak and burp throughout a song *peep that Migos shade* but Ty is a good singer and his adlibs throughout the song add a really nice atmosphere. Her vocals are amazing, especially at the climax when she’s belting. And the cheerleading bit comes back again, layered on top of the final chorus, it’s a nice tie-in, I love it. I give it a full score, 5 Wendys.
Giving Me Life (ft. Slick Rick and Blood Orange)
I was really shocked by this song. The 6-minute length gave way for doubts in my head but Hylia had told me Blood Orange produced some really good stuff and I like Slick Rick (who hasn’t done much for a long-time, so the fact that he agreed to do this song, it must really be good.) so I was excited to hear it. And my wig for sure flew. Such a gorgeous production, the lyrics, “Living likes Babs, ‘cause it’s Evergreen” SHE HAD NO RIGHT. WHO TOLD HER SHE COULD DO THAT. The length is still an issue for me, but I’m minding it less and less with each listen. The outro is really gorgeous, feels like an Interlude that they just stuck together to avoid having a messy track-list, again I don’t mind it at all. I’m quite indecisive really, but in the general scheme of things, this song is excellent, and I love it. 5 Grammys-I mean Wendys!
One Mo’ Gen
I laugh when people say Mariah isn’t black, this bitch is hood. She jumped Cameron Diaz once. She knows all her hood lingo and One Mo’ Gen is one of them. Initial listen, it was really forgettable but after a second and third one, it grew on me. One of THE best songs on the album. The pre-hook is so gorgeous. “And once we lit this towering inferno… The temperature’s rising crack a window” WOW. Such a sexy and classy song. I love it with each listen. And of-course I cannot stress enough how good the production is, the little attention to detail. The little nooks and grannies she stuffed with her ad-libs, the subtle lyrics. And not to mention how good she sounds? She sounds confident and strong. And Slick Rick’s verse is one of my favorite features in her discography of all time. (Nas from Dedicated was threatened) Some of her best in a long long time. I give it 5 wendys.
Initial listen, okay. 2nd listen, I AM WIGLESS. Lyrically the song is very hard for me to decipher? Usually I know what she’s singing about, but I can’t put my finger on it with this one. We have not had a single ‘break-up’ song on this album. (GTFO wasn’t really a break-up, just get the fuck out…) so this song is a first glimpse of a missing-a-love type moment or a miss-me type one I’m not sure. I love the melodies on it though, it’s laid-back, the production feels natural and again, the attention to detail. Very good. I give it 4 Wendys.
Stay Love Long You (ft. Gunna)
My skin crawls every time Gunna opens his mouth, someone get him a speech therapist, the mumble-rap ain’t cute. Mariah saves this song, I forgive Gunna just because of her, his rap is the worst on the album, perhaps the worst in her discography, but that’s okay, Mariah’s fiery puss has me all distracted from that and stanning. This has to be a single, it’s just too good to be wasted as an album cut. I give it 5 Wendys.
It was very difficult for me to listen to this. My initial listen, I did tear up. I hear a lot of Petals on this song and I’ve always had a difficult time listening to her personal songs since they’re all too real and relatable for me. So I have to admit, I have not heard this enough times to really give a strong opinion on it, but I know what’s it about and I know that I like it and I will come back eventually and listen to it. I give it 5 Wendys.
Her best album in a long time. Definitely a Top 5 for me besides Butterfly, Daydream, Memoirs and MAIMTEC. What's so great about this album is that it's fresh and modern-sounding yet still sounds like Mariah. She has evolved instead of selling-out, evolved into a soft sensual crooner chanteuse that does not shy away from exploring her new-found confidence. This album is a testament of how legendary Miss Carey is. 28 years and still going strong, a victory lap in an industry that tried to dispose of her. I give it a full 5 out of 5.
One Mo' Gen
A No No.
Mariah is skinny and we stan forever!