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Status Updates posted by Darth Sidious
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Ready for Michelle Yeoh to earn her rightful Oscar tonight
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I think Rihanna just announced that she’s pregnant.
Better postpone that album for another decade 🪦
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You want to know why God let’s the good die young? Because he’s too busy listening to Carly Rae Jensen’s “The Loneliest Time”
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I still don’t get Olivia Rodrigo. I tried, she just bounces off my head.
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Sir, I cannot buy your records if you’ve killed me.
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Just heard someone say that Iran is more progressive than the west because they subsidize sex change operations with tax payer funds.
Yes, because as a gay person — if you don’t undergo a forceable sex change, they’ll execute you by hanging you from a construction crane.
Idiot.
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A suicidal deer decided to use my car to end it all tonight
I am not at all upset to admit that I hoped the damn thing died slowly
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Blowing up the entire economy and plunging the entire world into a crippling depression just to own the libs is not financially conservative
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My god, I always knew the Japanese would renew their dreams of world conquest
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It took less than 2 hours, Republicans, but especially the ones in California, can eat shit
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I’d forgotten how good Aaliyah was 🥲