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Violence is never the answer but which fave would win if all the faves had a brawl

Which one  

63 members have voted

  1. 1. Which fave would kick the most ass

    • Lady Gaga
      2
    • Madonna
      11
    • Britney
      10
    • Rihanna
      20
    • Katy
      2
    • Kesha
      3
    • Lana
      2
    • Taylor
      1
    • Xtina
      3
    • Beyoncé
      9


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My version of events

 

Lady Gaga: Would try to attack Madonna but end up breaking her hip.

Madonna: Would dodge everyone's punches but then struggle to climb a staircase

Britney: Would do that awkward laughing face she's iconic for, then whip out an umbrella and start attacking an innocent member of the public thinking it's Sia. 

Rihanna: Would turn up late, walk past everyone and then puff smoke in Beyonce's face.

Katy: Would try to act like a hip teenager, but in reality would win by making everyone cringe

Demi: Would roll about tied to the floor like one of those whales when they have a fishing line stuck to them.

Lana: Would attack hard and fast, then fall in to a deep sleep.

Taylor: Would try and get everyone to be friends

Xtina: Would say "Yass" every time she moved

Beyoncé: Would over do it as always.

Mariah: Would say "i'm too good for this dahhhling" and stop the fight by hitting a H69 note. 

Ariana: Would be safe as everyone confuses her with a 12 year old.

Adele: Would turn up uninvited then give everyone the middle finger.

Selena: Would try to shout everyone down, but no one would hear her

Jessica: Would sing her typical "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh" causing everyone to stop and cover their ears

P!nk: Would win

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17 hours ago, I Brings That Levity said:

My version of events

 

Lady Gaga: Would try to attack Madonna but end up breaking her hip.

Madonna: Would dodge everyone's punches but then struggle to climb a staircase

Britney: Would do that awkward laughing face she's iconic for, then whip out an umbrella and start attacking an innocent member of the public thinking it's Sia. 

Rihanna: Would turn up late, walk past everyone and then puff smoke in Beyonce's face.

Katy: Would try to act like a hip teenager, but in reality would win by making everyone cringe

Demi: Would roll about tied to the floor like one of those whales when they have a fishing line stuck to them.

Lana: Would attack hard and fast, then fall in to a deep sleep.

Taylor: Would try and get everyone to be friends

Xtina: Would say "Yass" every time she moved

Beyoncé: Would over do it as always.

Mariah: Would say "i'm too good for this dahhhling" and stop the fight by hitting a H69 note. 

Ariana: Would be safe as everyone confuses her with a 12 year old.

Adele: Would turn up uninvited then give everyone the middle finger.

Selena: Would try to shout everyone down, but no one would hear her

Jessica: Would sing her typical "uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh" causing everyone to stop and cover their ears

P!nk: Would win

Jessica Simpson is basically a Pokémon but instead of Hyper Beam she has Nasal Beam and would hit them with that “note” in that one video of Take My Breth Away and they’d all die from laughing so she’d lowkey win. clap4

 

Unless P!nk really did show up, in which case I agree, she’d win because everyone would forfeit immediately and the cool ones would leave to get drunk with her at a bar. sistren1

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On 2/25/2019 at 5:57 PM, Goldie said:

Omg need to make a 2019 version of this whit1 

please do lmfao1 

 

On 2/25/2019 at 6:50 PM, Pawn said:

Mariah is more accustomed to taking balls to the face. 

 

 

 

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Ariana is initially protected by Lana and Lady Gaga based on past collabs, but eventually Kylie snaps her head off and rolls it down the corridor so that she can reign supreme as the Superstar Bobblehead

Beyoncé calls in Solange for back-up. While her sister fucks everyone up Bey steals everyone else's weapons for extra protection

Britney can't attend the brawl due to a court injunction, sends Instagram support to her faves Alison and Mary, no one knows who they are

Xtinct enters, immediately screams "I hurt myself by hurting you" but fails to hurt anyone except herself by tripping over stray packets of Oreos she brought along for fuel

Dua Lipa lashes out in the same dyspraxia-laden style from her dance routines, manages to hit no one but stans claim her performance is earth-shattering

Ellie Goulding uses her strong, Pantene-endorsed hair to serve some lashings. While faves whimper on the floor beneath her powerful.mp3 tresses, she whisperingly begs them to do a collab for her new album

Katy Perry harnesses her secret power of irrelevance, relies on the fact no one has been checking for ha for over a year, pretends she's still pregananant and watches from the sidelines like katy1 and mockingly cheers for Taylor, who hasn't arrived yet

Kylie Minogue - see above. Eventually gets knocked out by Mariah Carey who sees a star ageing gracefully and assumes it must be this "pop singer" they call J.Lo

Lady Gaga - after failing to save Ariana, she cosies up to Beyoncé but gets taken out by Solange who mistakes her for a man in an elevator

Lana Del Rey sways backward and forward singing she was Born To Die under her breath, meanwhile entrapping her enemies (i.e. any of the faves of colour) in a network of dreamcatchers, stunning them with tainted lip fillers and burying them dressed in MAGA caps and mesh face masks for the ~aesthetic~

Madonna spends about 35 minutes tying ribbons around her hands and throwing weak boxing punches, telling everyone she is a secret agent fighting for freedom, a dancer, a professor, a head of state, a housekeeper, an equestrian, a prisoner, a student, a mother, a child, a teacher, a nun, a singer, a saint, a whore, and a spy in the house of love. At the end of her soliloquy, all of the other surviving gorls round on her and take her out just to shut her the fuck up.

Mariah Carey, as above, spends her time looking for the "pop singer" they call J.Lo, but otherwise throws tasteful kicks from the corner of the room where the lighting is more flattering. Shouts "bleak" when Ariana's head rolls past

Rihanna enters the fight, cries "look over there - it's R9!" While everyone is distracted, she plays Man Down out of her HCT and proceeds to gun down half the faves

Selena Gomez misread the invitation, thought she was invited to a Breathing Competition not a Beating Competition, decides she'd prefer A Year Without Pain and announces her retirement from the game

Taylor Swift finally breaks up the fight for good when her lawyers arrive, citing a lawsuit that claims her Bad Blood video has been plagiarised and that she does not wish to be part of this narrative. As part of an out-of-court settlement, the survivors are required to make amends with Taylor as part of a new music video,  in which she re-records the fight and calls it "You Need To Calm Down (Taylor's Version)"

 

 

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20 hours ago, LÉON said:

Rihanna enters the fight, cries "look over there - it's R9!" While everyone is distracted, she plays Man Down out of her HCT and proceeds to gun down half the faves

 

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Gaga- would immediately get scared and try to tell everyone they were born this way and to love each other and would be one of the first to get knocked out Madonna- she's strong and would dispatc

Gaga- would get too cocky and be beat up by Rihanna Madonna- ha brittle ass bones wouldn't be able to compete Katy- everyone would probably gang up on her first because it seems like everyon

all of you calling rihanna ratchet to justify your reasoning wtf nasty the true victor would be Madonna. when she isn't on stage she is chest pressing obese men. she would use her feng shuey shit


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