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Pikachu

I'm a songwriter in need of feedback/thoughts

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Chorus
Don't tell me "I'll make a man out of you"
Lookie here at what these soft hands can do
Don't tell me "I'll make a man out of you"
Lookie here at what these soft hands can do
 
 
Verse One
As a bushy-tailed lad
I had high hopes of becoming
A broad shoulder man
Wasn't the son mama wanted
Too soft were my hands
 
 
Pre-Chorus
Papa taught me how
To toughen up
Boys, they play rough
To muster up the strength
To build a white picket fence
 
 
Chorus
Don't tell me "I'll make a man out of you"
Lookie here at what these soft hands can do
Don't tell me "I'll make a man out of you"
Lookie here at what these soft hands can do
 
 
Post-Chorus
These soft hands can do
These soft hands can do
These soft hands can do
(Can do, can do)
 
 
 
This is is what I have so far of this song entitled "Too Soft Were His Hands" it's folk with uptempo funk and country pop sensibility. It's about being me being a gay man thus the "soft hands" and how toxic masculinity can be and it's expectations. Please let me know your thoughts ?
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2 hours ago, Mint said:

its so gay i love it  

would obviously add a bridge tho. something along the lines like "you dont want these hands".. since you wanna be tough and all jj2 

I'm halfway through writing it and thanks haha a gay, folk anthem that's Gaga overlooked for Joanne fall6 I'll post the final result 

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14 minutes ago, Pikachu said:

That fills me with pure bliss brit2 Any lyrical content you enjoyed most like certain lines and such moo5 

A broad shoulder man
Wasn't the son mama wanted
Too soft were my hands

This is so sad

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