#LachlanREVIEWS - Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel (2009) / Me. I Am Mariah... (2014)

[Lachlan 18,471]

The final reviews!

Spoiler

 

1. BETCHA GON' KNOW (THE PROLOGUE) (4.5/5)
Oh this is a gorgeous and fitting opener for the album. It sits halfway between being full of drama and chill, and Mariah's rap-singing works a charm. An album highlight indeed.

2. OBSESSED (4/5)
One of Mariah's iconiqué 00s singles. I'm still not entirely sure why she stuck auto-tune over her voice for the song since it doesn't really add anything but nevertheless it doesn't make the song bad! Definitely a great addition Sassriah's discography. Invented wordless hooks with weird vocal effects.

3. H.A.T.E.U. (4/5)
The production on this track is so good, especially the instrumentation that comes in at the 0:40 second mark. This song just has such a sense of calm and ease about it that ties in nicely with the lyrical content. Whew here this bitch goes again using her whistle as an instrument.

4. CANDY BLING (4.5/5)
The specificity of the lyrics brings me back to the Butterfly era songs like The Roof. In fact this song could've slipped easily onto that album. Like H.A.T.E.U, this song has an ease to it and she slinks through a bunch of different hooks so effortlessly. My favourite track on the album.

5. RIBBON (3/5)
Okay, we have the albums first disappointment! There's a couple of things that irritate me with this song, from that modulated background voice in the chorus and just the general static-sound of the production. I can still listen to it for sure, it's just not a highlight by any means. The lyrics also don't do it any favours with those ribbon metaphors.

6. INSEPERABLE (3.5/5)
Queen of predicting the United Airlines incident. The piano on this track is quite prominent and really lovely, but the chorus lacks a punch to take this song to a higher score.

7. STANDING O' (3/5)
The chorus of this song is robotic, bland and annoying that it ruins the rest of the song. The 'cheers, toast, bravo' pre-chorus provides some playfulness and life to the track. Her works so much better naturally without the vocal skits so delete them fat!

8. IT'S A WRAP (4/5)
The first time I heard this song it was on the deluxe of MIAM so I've always felt this song fits better on that album. This track puts the record back on track for greatness. The spareness of the production and that horror-movie screeching sound are great. I do appreciate the link between the standing ovation and the ending of something with the titles.

9. UP OUT MY FACE FT. NICKI MINAJ (4/5)
First of all, Nicki sounds sooo good gliding over this production. It's a nice halfway between Mariah's R&B sound and Nicki's hip-hop flow.

10. MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS (2.5/5)
The title of this song screams filler, and the track definitely doesn't surpass that level! For an album that reaches the hour mark, we don't really need tracks like this! Bite me.

11. THE IMPOSSIBLE (4.5/5)
This production is so lush and packs such a big punch without being over-the-top. Mariah's slow whispery vocals over the top just make it a dream. She masters the art of these down-tempo R&B jams with this track.

12. ANGELS CRY (4/5)
The second that first verse started I was drawn back to early 90s Mariah which was never a bad thing. This is quite a gorgeous track and shows what some of those R&B-ballads from E=MC tried to do, but couldn't.

13. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS (4.5/5)
A Brazilian #1 song by the way. At least it smash somewhere. Mariah takes this song and pulls it into her own lane - and it works! The choir brings me back to early Mariah again too which is quite lovely This song fades out so quickly though, what's the deal? Could've bean a perfect scorer, what a shame.

 

OVERALL on Lachlancritic - 77

Spoiler

1. CRY. (5/5)
Opening with a straight ballad? 00s Mariah has been found dead and the 90s have been revived for a moment. This song has such a simple structure and melodies, and it's done so expertly. Wow she really did that! 

2. FADED (4/5)
This instrumental is very Memoirs but I'm not complaining because it pops off. I like the faster-lipped verses against the slower-sung chorus - it makes this song a bit more dynamic.

3. DEDICATED FT. NAS (3/5)
On my first listens in 2014 I used to think of this song as a highlight, but after revisiting it falls flatter against the rest of the album. Nas' verse is actually a highlight of the song for once? I love the 'Carey like Mariah' hook though.

4. #BEAUTIFUL FT. MIGUEL (4.5/5)
This song has this very romantic, classic vibe to it and it's just so bloody good. Miguel and Mariah's voices are a dream together. Fantastic. This is a song that needed to be longer.

5. THIRSTY (4.5/5)
Oh yes pop off Mariah! I'm bopping and toasting to my exes! Holy shit that bridge is so good, let me bump this to a 4.5. I can't believe I used to think of this as an album lowlights, silly me!

6. MAKE IT LOOK GOOD (4.5/5)
First I'm at a barn dance, then I'm at prom? This song really shouldn't work on paper but it does and it's excellent. The 60s doo-[removed] melodies and flow are superb. The song doesn't overstay it's welcome either.

7. YOU'RE MINE (ETERNAL) (3.5/5)
This is a sweet girl and offers a nice little interlude among the bops of the album. Not my favourite from the record but it's still quite good.

8. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO FT. WALE (5/5)
Serve me a fucking intro, serve me disco, serve me effortless, serve me gorgeous. This is a top 20 Mariah song indeed. Wale's verse is so bloody good too. Could listen to this on repeat for hours.

9. SUPERNATURAL (3.5/5)
Really not sure how I feel about her babies appearance in this song and probably detract from an otherwise great modern-Mariah ballad. Yeah... those baby interludes could've been kept for the last 30 seconds because they actually work really nicely there. This should've been later in the tracklist though.

10. METEORITE (5/5)
She hasn't served me house perfection like this since the Daydream Interlude oh my god Mariah bitch you really did that! There's nothing else to say, this can join You Don't Know What to Do in legend territory!

11. CAMOUFLAGE (4/5)
I really underrated this song back in 2014, it's really beautiful. She serves vocals and lyrics in a neat little 4:55!

12. MONEY ($*/...) FT. FAB (3/5)
Yes this kind of bops but pales in comparison to the rest of the album. Fab sounds good on here too though, the collaborations on this record are smashing it out of the park. There's nothing really wrong with this song, it just doesn't pack as much excitement and punch as previous songs.

13. ONE MORE TRY (4/5)
Did George ever say anything about this cover? I think she does it really well. It doesn't feel like it drags out too much despite being over 6 minutes long. The Beautiful Ones could take a note.

14. HEAVENLY (4.5/5)
I'm still astounded that she managed to pull off a song where she repeats the chorus for literally half the song without it coming across as repetitive or annoying. The song makes me feel quite safe and happy which is a testament to Mariah because she doesn't often evoke actual emotion from me. That sounds like a drag but it's not!
 

OVERALL on Lachlancritic - 83

---

FINAL ALBUM RANKING
Mariah Carey - 90
Emotions - 88
Butterfly - 86
Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse - 83
Daydream / The Emancipation of Mimi - 79
Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel - 77
Rainbow - 75
Music Box - 74
E=MC² - 70
Charmbracelet - 68

[Lachlan 18,471]

Spoiler

1. @Bionic Monster
2. @Coca-Cola
3. @Daydream.
4. @Diamond
5. @EWA
6. @Halcyon
7. @Hannah
8. @HeatSeeker
9. @Hylia
10. @Hyperballad
11. @I Am...Me
12. @JennyFromTheBlock
13. @Jon.
14. @Juinae
15. @Kaulitz.
16. @Lachlan
17. @Limn
18. @Maraj
19. @Mason
20. @Melt Away
21. @Michael.
22. @Mom
23. @ParentalAdvisory
24. @Princess Aurora
25. @Rachel Berry
26. @Royale
27. @Royalty
28. @Sean
29. @Serene.
30. @Skyline
31. @Snejana
32. @Spencer Pratt
33. @Sylk
34. @TattooedHeart
35. @Taylor
36. @Chris Morlock
37. @Tomás
38. @Venus XCX
39. @Vilppu
40. @WinnieThePooh
41. @bxigitte
42. @Lachlan
43.  

The final reviews goats!

[Hylia 85,573]

I agree with a lot of this! I've noticed an influx of Supernatural hate in the section lately, so I'm glad to see someone finally agrees with me on it  

[Sylk 143,264]

I DONT SEE LANGUISHING HER BEST INTERLUDE 

[Mingyu. 12,311]

Just now, Hylia said:

I agree with a lot of this! I've noticed an influx of Supernatural hate in the section lately, so I'm glad to see someone finally agrees with me on it  

Change your name to Gudetama.  

[Lachlan 18,471]

3 minutes ago, Hylia said:

I agree with a lot of this! I've noticed an influx of Supernatural hate in the section lately, so I'm glad to see someone finally agrees with me on it  

Supernatural is a sweetie indeed! The album still has a lot better songs though.  

[Lachlan 18,471]

4 minutes ago, Sylk said:

I DONT SEE LANGUISHING HER BEST INTERLUDE 

Interludes aren't rated.

[Sylk 143,264]

btw let me step out of my lambskin for a moment and just say I think Memoirs is a bit too heavy and majority of it is held up digitally, I think that's why it's very hard to get into the album. But once you get past that, it's really a very cohesive record. That auto-tuney digital sound really adds to the whole laid-back atmosphere and the concept of the album. The same thing does not work on MIAM however but fortunately that is compensated by the gorgeous production and lyrics. You can't have everything now can you? Unless your name is Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel...

Amazing review btw I approve it! MIAM snatching that Top 5 in your album rank! Taste confirmed  Although I'm an avid Memoirs stan I've always said that MIAM is next to Butterfly as her magnum opus. a FUCKING ALBUM honestly! Deserved Emancipation-sized success  

[Sylk 143,264]

6 minutes ago, Lachlan said:

Interludes aren't rated.

I WAS READY WITH THE LACHLANGUISHING JOKE

[Lachlan 18,471]

2 minutes ago, Sylk said:

btw let me step out of my lambskin for a moment and just say I think Memoirs is a bit too heavy and majority of it is held up digitally, I think that's why it's very hard to get into the album. But once you get past that, it's really a very cohesive record. That auto-tuney digital sound really adds to the whole laid-back atmosphere and the concept of the album. The same thing does not work on MIAM however but fortunately that is compensated by the gorgeous production and lyrics. You can't have everything now can you? Unless you're name is Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel...

Amazing review btw I approve it! MIAM snatching that Top 5 in your album rank! Taste confirmed  Although I'm an avid Memoirs stan I've always said that MIAM is next to Butterfly as her magnum opus. a FUCKING ALBUM honestly! Deserved Emancipation-sized success  

What amazes me about MIAM is that it really isn't that cohesive at all yet still feels like such a connected body of work. She really did that. How much did Memoirs even sell? I didn't know any of the singles off it prior except Obsessed.

Just now, Sylk said:

I WAS READY WITH THE LACHLANGUISHING JOKE

Lachlanguishing, fuck.  

[Hylia 85,573]

15 minutes ago, Kaulitz. said:

Change your name to Gudetama.  

Hylia is eternal, but Gudetama is also within my soul!  

[Lachlan 18,471]

Can't believe I've finished Mariah, now I can add her to the list of female legends I stan. She's now in my top 8 most played artists on last.fm.

[Mingyu. 12,311]

2 minutes ago, Hylia said:

Hylia is eternal, but Gudetama is also within my soul!  

[Sylk 143,264]

4 minutes ago, Lachlan said:

What amazes me about MIAM is that it really isn't that cohesive at all yet still feels like such a connected body of work. She really did that. How much did Memoirs even sell? I didn't know any of the singles off it prior except Obsessed.

Lachlanguishing, fuck.  

we don't talk about Memoirs ha sales. I'm sure it did good in some country in South America we have to ask @Skyline

but TEA! also MIAM was a wasted opportunity. It could've easily spawned at least 2-3 hits but it's release was cursed with push-backs and her team was being shuffled so nothing happened  

Also what's the deal with you not using the album cover  btw forgot to mention stan ALLAHVENLY  Sang her entire vocal range on it btw  

[Sylk 143,264]

5 minutes ago, Lachlan said:

Can't believe I've finished Mariah, now I can add her to the list of female legends I stan. She's now in my top 8 most played artists on last.fm.

A taste! Now we have a mod to use as leverage for that perm section! Also are you here for MC15?

 

[Lachlan 18,471]

2 minutes ago, Sylk said:

we don't talk about Memoirs ha sales. I'm sure it did good in some country in South America we have to ask @Skyline

but TEA! also MIAM was a wasted opportunity. It could've easily spawned at least 2-3 hits but it's release was cursed with push-backs and her team was being shuffled so nothing happened  

Also what's the deal with you not using the album cover  btw forgot to mention stan ALLAHVENLY  Sang her entire vocal range on it btw  

At least she had a top 20 with #Beautiful! Gotta count for something.

The Elusive album cover is literal torture for the eyes I don't know who approved it, the picture above it is much better.

1 minute ago, Sylk said:

A taste! Now we have a mod to use as leverage for that perm section! Also are you here for MC15?

 

Kylie perma section first darling.

[Sylk 143,264]

2 minutes ago, Lachlan said:

At least she had a top 20 with #Beautiful! Gotta count for something.

The Elusive album cover is literal torture for the eyes I don't know who approved it, the picture above it is much better.

Kylie perma section first darling.

okay first things first it's "dahhhhling" with atleast 4 h's! If you're gonna be a lamb you gotta know these things! You also have to use words like "moments" "festive" "pow" etc regularly and pronounce champagne as "cham-pag-knee"!! Hate does not exist in Mariah's World, our motto is "we love everybody!" If you happen to encounter a bleak moment you simply chant the mantra "we're all living in the moment of being positive, and there are some people called 'haters' and we give them positivity" and keeping going! Also jlo praise and listening to her music is STRICTLY forbidden.  

 

I like this one btw 

 but you went with the TAOLG which is the best pic in the photoshoot  @Dr. Slay made a hybrid cover btw if you want!

 

 

[Sean 2,441]

mariahs biggest career mistake was releasing you're mine as single  

 

 

[Lachlan 18,471]

4 minutes ago, Sylk said:

okay first things first it's "dahhhhling" with atleast 4 h's! If you're gonna be a lamb you gotta know these things! You also have to use words like "moments" "festive" "pow" etc regularly and pronounce champagne as "cham-pag-knee"!! Hate does not exist in Mariah's World, our motto is "we love everybody!" If you happen to encounter a bleak moment you simply chant the mantra "we're all living in the moment of being positive, and there are some people called 'haters' and we give them positivity" and keeping going! Also jlo praise and listening to her music is STRICTLY forbidden.  

 

I like this one btw 

 but you went with the TAOLG which is the best pic in the photoshoot  @Dr. Slay made a hybrid cover btw if you want!

 

 

Consider me educated however I'm first and foremostly a member of the Al Kylieda so darling is acceptable.

Oh wow that cover is gorgeous @Dr. Slay do you have that cover without the text.

[Dr. Slay 28,452]

3 minutes ago, Lachlan said:

Oh wow that cover is gorgeous @Dr. Slay do you have that cover without the text.

Oop yes let me see