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Vertigo-go

What did psychopath critic Robert Christgau have to say about your fave's albums?

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Background: Christgau is a ten million year old dinosaur creep, a self-proclaimed "Dean of the Rock Critics" wendy4 that started reviewing in the 60s, is obsessed with using long, unneeded, pretentious words in a wrong context, and writes heavy AND pointless reviews where  he both praises and shits on albums. He's the main reason the world is spinning with a wrong speed and God is dead.

 

I'll copypast assorted bipolar "opinions" (each from the same review, nevermind the fact they contradict each other, sometimes in the same sentence). Note the tracks he highlights as the best wendy4

 

To find out what kind of weird shit did RC write about your fave, simply google "Robert Christgau <artist>" and click on the first link, because his flop site doesn't even have a directory wendy4

 

 

Madonna - Bedtime Stories

seductive self-regard over the best tracks fame can buy ("Don't Stop")

 

Madonna - RoL

Pretty sensual for pop enlightenment, thank God ("Skin," "Candy Perfume Girl").

 

Madonna - GH Vol 2

she gleans goodies from the overrated Bedtime Stories and Ray of Light, mixes in the glorious soundtrack-only "Beautiful Strangerorly1 and the dismal soundtrack-only "Don't Cry for Me Argentina,"  orly1

 

Also, gives MDNA A-, names Bitch the best Rebel Heart track wendy4

 

Nicki - Pink Friday

 

Not only are those not her breasts, at least not the ones her biologicals gave her, but her hair isn't really pink or, wink wink, straight  orly1carla1 Whatever the fuck this creepy shit even means jj4

 

Nicki - Roman

 

overstuffed, musically manipulative, thematically directionless bid to put the pink-haired alien on the singles charts until Katy Perry absconds to rehab.

She's an aspiring and most likely inevitable pop queen who raps exceptionally well, sings quite well, rhymes inconsistently but sometimes superbly, and will do anything to be rich and famous. This obviously doesn't make her a heroine  orly1 Flaw-free example of his back-handed compliment and creepiness carla1

 

Christina Aguilera - self

 

Christina already has "adult" grit and phrasing down pat, and so threatens to join Gloria, Mariah, Celine, and LeAnn herself in the endless parade of Diane Warren-fueled divas-by-fiat hitting high notes and signifying less than nothing.  giveup2

 

 

Britney - Femme

 

 

As for her female fans, let's call the attraction the bimbo strategy--the slut who calls the shots. Good luck with that one, ladies. I mean it. B+  orly1 (He also called her a sad case and a slut on Blackout)

Link for all her album reviews https://www.robertchristgau.com/get_artist.php?name=Britney+Spears

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, Infrared said:

he stans gaga sass5

 

  • The Fame Monster [Interscope, 2009] A-
  • Born This Way [Streamline/Interscope/KonLive, 2011] A-

The Fame [Interscope, 2009]
Shallowness at its most principled ("Just Dance," "Paper Gangsta"). *

 

rip2

 

 

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One of the Boys [Capitol, 2008]
She stopped taping her "suckers" down, and kissing her girlfriend was just an experiment, but trumpeting her vulnerability she's as loud and laddish as a hockey fan ("I Kissed a Girl," "One of the Boys"). **

 

Born to Die [Polydor, 2012]
Convincing and occasionally compelling proof that money can't buy happiness ("Video Games," "This Is What Makes Us Girls") *

 

orangu1

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1 hour ago, Sylk said:

He's a rat. Gave almost all of Mariah's albums a dud score. He did stan Rainbow though! yas1 

Suddenly he's my favorite reviewer.

51 minutes ago, AGNTEA said:

One of the Boys [Capitol, 2008]
She stopped taping her "suckers" down, and kissing her girlfriend was just an experiment, but trumpeting her vulnerability she's as loud and laddish as a hockey fan ("I Kissed a Girl," "One of the Boys"). **

 

Born to Die [Polydor, 2012]
Convincing and occasionally compelling proof that money can't buy happiness ("Video Games," "This Is What Makes Us Girls") *

 

orangu1

Not him recycling certain phrases from his previous reviews. Mess!

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1 hour ago, Vertigo-go said:

Well, unfavour, since he stanned Erotica moo4

Why is he such a damn liitle hipster shit and has to go against the general consensus that Erotica is SHIT?

giphy.gif

1 hour ago, Scarlett O'Hara said:

Fearless [Big Machine, 2008] A-

Speak Now [Big Machine, 2010] A-

Red [Big Machine, 2012] A-

1989 [Big Machine, 2014] A-

Absolutely not surprised. Taylazar Swiftleryn is considered as some innocent little white Christian girl despite having almost as many ex-boyfriends as Madonna had in her bed.

I will never understand why Americans have such a huge problem with sex and sexuality, especially when it comes to women.

giphy.gif

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21 minutes ago, Grimhilde said:

Why is he such a damn liitle hipster shit and has to go against the general consensus that Erotica is SHIT?

giphy.gif

Absolutely not surprised. Taylazar Swiftleryn is considered as some innocent little white Christian girl despite having almost as many ex-boyfriends as Madonna had in her bed.

I will never understand why Americans have such a huge problem with sex and sexuality, especially when it comes to women.

giphy.gif

Because they are trash. Oh and Erotica is amazing.

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