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Fighters Get Vulnerable: Your Most Personal X Song

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X writes a lot and sings her heart out in every record, but what songs are very personal to you--insofar as you feel as though she were writing a story about your life. It's best if you explain why, but if it's something you're uncomfortable with on the net, don't or omit detail(Aggie gets us at the core I kno).

 

Also, please post a video for the non-stans that want to parcitpate or read.

 

Mine:

 

Why:

I had some health issues in my younger years. The burden she feels she's left unfinished was one of my biggest fears.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PstrAfoMKlc

 

This is her most personal and inspiring song to me, as cliche or predictable as it might seem. This was also one of the first songs I heard from her, before I became a stan. Throughout the past 5 years I've struggled with health problems and when things started heading south within the past 2 years, emotions started to sink, and depression began to set in. This was really the song that got me through everything. Anytime I was feeling sick or down, I would listen to this on replay and it inspired me to keep on fighting. Also dealing with a relationship with my mom that was only getting worse, which eventually sent us to counseling, this was the song that kept me from giving up completely. As far as I'm concerned, this is the song that saved my life and I'll be forever grateful for it oprah2

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqvL6Zi4cWY

 

 

I have a lot of songs that I keep close with Xtina, but this is one that I still feel weird about because my mistakes went unknown and hidden. Even though he didn't know, my guilt was making me think he did. Its a terrible skeleton to have in your closet, but I'm ok with it now and it is what it is.

 Xtina is brave to sing a song like this, I wasn't at the time. I was really young and really felt connected to this. Thanks, legend...

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Usually I'd say The Voice Within, but lately it's been....

 

 

SUPER long story short, over the summer I ended up doing the most stupid thing ever and ruined the best friendship I ever had. I was being completely delusional and only cared about myself (which is really unlike me tbqh), so I wrote this stupid letter and he ended the friendship after that, through text. Everything about it... idk, it's like I wrote the song. "I was scared, I was unprepared/ Oh for the things you said"...

 

The chorus, "Draw me a smile and save me tonight/ I am a blank page waiting for you to bring me to life/ Paint me a heart, let me be your art/ I am a blank page waiting for life to start" is so relatable for me because before we were friends I was so depressed and hated myself because I felt so alone and felt like I was unimportant, and he changed that completely. He brought out the old me; when I was always laughing and smiling and was bubbly and friendly with everyone. He chose me to be the focus of his photography project, so "let me be your art".. it just made me see myself as beautiful again when I thought I was disgusting for years. We always told each other we were glad we became friends and that we changed each other's lives, and he'd always tell me "I've never had a friend like you". MEHHHH :noway: 

 

I just regret it so much and wish it never happened. I completely fucked up and he won't even acknowledge me now. I feel in my heart though we'll be friends again, but right now it just really sucks, a lot, and it's always on my mind. I just want to tell him I'm sorry but don't want to ruin things any more than they have been.

 

When Lotus came out, he was like "guess what I'm not buying?" (Britney stan) as I was freaking out about it, lol but he liked this song the best out of all of the others... Ironic, huh?

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Firstly i dont identify with the idea of hurting someone, just the idea of missing someone who isnt there anymore and wishing you could say so many things to them. I lost my brother and sister very suddenly when i was young and my grandparents too and there are just so many things i wish i could tell them or talk to them about because i miss them a lot. I never really knew my siblings which really gets me because i see so many people that have amazing bonds with theirs and i never had that, it also fucked up my family a lot so it rings a lot of bells.

 

Secondly

 

My friend recently told me about all the horrific things that happened to her when she was young and this song just came into my head. Turns out she is a big fan and this song kept her going a lot and that makes it heartbreaking. The stuff she went through and the lyrics of this song kill me and i cant listen to it anymore because the empowering anthem this song was is now a constant reminder of evil in the world

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the Lotus Ballads trifecta slayed me to the very core when the album got released, as i was going through my first serious break-up and was an emotional mess - even started drinking at some point. :sob: i used to listen to Just A Fool first and just like @ pointed out, i was feeling as if i wrote the song. I had my heart set on you, but nothing else hurts like you do (...) I'm just a fool for holding on to something that's never ever gonna come back, I can't accept that it's lost...

 

then i would go to Blank Page and feel even more related to it - I would do anything for us to make it through says it all. and that chorus...  i cried like a baby to this song for weeks literally. :sob:

 

finally around the corner there was Cease Fire, which it's about dropping the weapons and getting all peaceful so i obviously felt very connected to it when all i wanted was a fresh start. Baby, cease fire (...) we're hurting each other.

 

 

regardless the Xtina ballad i am the most connected to it's I'm OK. thankfully my father didn't abuse me nor my mother but we do have an estranged relationship. it all started back when i was a kid and he left to another country - job duties - so as i was growing up i only had my mom. i grew up being quite different from the other kids, i was disliked by most of my classmates because the teachers liked me, the fact that my dad was out the country only turned things worst as i was good financially and they got envious and crap to the point they were calling me names. i was alone. little they know i would've traded anything with them for my daddy back, a person that would teach me how to defend and fight for myself. dad eventually got home to find a dark teenager that wouldn't talk for days and give everyone the cold shoulder. dad got mad at me after a while for that, blaming my mom for how i turned out to be.. as if i was some sort of devil. we had many conflicts back then... but now i grow up thankfully and i am in a way better state, but the son-dad bound it's something i never had nor i will ever have.

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Ugh the bridge of Just A Fool gets me, too @Gabe. The "I should've let it go, held my tongue, kept my big mouth shut 'cause now everything is just wrong" mostly oprah2

 

 

One of the songs that also gets to me is "Little Dreamer". I thought of it kind of as a lullaby when it came out... until my grandmother passed away last March. Which, in a way, I still do see it as a lullaby. It's like the 1st and 3rd verses are from her to me, "look at the stars, I will take one down for you" / "If ever you are lonely and question why, remember that I'm always by your side". Then it's like the 2nd and 4th are from me to her, "Even if you're miles above the clouds, until the end I'll be waiting"/ "Even though we sleep lightyears apart, a galaxy away is not so far". And the "I'll pray we'll meet inside in my dreams"; I was raised to believe that when you dream of a relative/friend who died, it's actually them talking to you for real.

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As a person I connect most with the song fighter. First song by Christina I remember I heard in my life.

 

All starts from a young age when I used to get bullied a lot and end up in fights with other children. I remember I used to run away from school because of the bulling. It wasn't really perfect for me growing up. I remember I was visiting my Uncle every other weekend and got to babysit his girlfriends child and he controlled that I couldn't play with other children and that I had to play with his girlfriends child. I will also take a note I didn't grew up with my biological father (My mom told me I used to visit him when I was really young, but I don't remember it).

 

When I was 9 years old me and my family moved. I started at a new school and got new friends, but the bullying never left and I still got into fights. I got some friends there, but still I had some days where I still run away from school (but not as often).

 

The three last year at the new school went fast and was a mess for me. I remember I threw a chair at a teacher because I was so angry and ended up going home that day (I take the bus to school). It felt like the teachers or my class didn't really understand me. During the last year at the school around Easter time I ended up finding my biological father on facebook (I knew about him from before) but it made me so depressed that the school started to worry a lot.

 

When I finished school and continued my studies in media and communication, I felt it was a new chapter in my life, but little did I knew that one person would make two of those years trying to bring me down with words.

 

Back to first year, the year went by fast. I started having big depressions and question myself a lot, I remember new years eve that year I ended up yelling to my step-dad wishing I could just move away from him and mom to escape my problems. I ended up opening to them for real that day and tell them about the things I remembered over the years with pain (New Years eve will never ever be the same for me). I ended up with big depression again.

 

During beginning of 2011 I ended up going to a therapist to get out my feelings and get back on track to be who I am today. I went there for half a year and I don't regret at all that I went there. My therapist suggested I should meet my biological dad to help me with the issue if I meet him somewhere, because I was scared to meet him. I ended up going to meet him with someone close to me. I talked to him and he was nice, I haven't talked to him since because I realized I didn't need a father/son relationship with him because he has never been there for me through my hardest times.

 

I ended up being more positive and got longer in my life. I have a supportive family and friends that I wouldn't trade for anything. I am living my life to the fullest and enjoying every moment of it. I still battling my depression every now and then.

 

 

And sorry for any typos xtina17

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As a person I connect most with the song fighter. First song by Christina I remember I heard in my life.

 

All starts from a young age when I used to get bullied a lot and end up in fights with other children. I remember I used to run away from school because of the bulling. It wasn't really perfect for me growing up. I remember I was visiting my Uncle every other weekend and got to babysit his girlfriends child and he controlled that I couldn't play with other children and that I had to play with his girlfriends child. I will also take a note I didn't grew up with my biological father (My mom told me I used to visit him when I was really young, but I don't remember it).

 

When I was 9 years old me and my family moved. I started at a new school and got new friends, but the bullying never left and I still got into fights. I got some friends there, but still I had some days where I still run away from school (but not as often).

 

The three last year at the new school went fast and was a mess for me. I remember I threw a chair at a teacher because I was so angry and ended up going home that day (I take the bus to school). It felt like the teachers or my class didn't really understand me. During the last year at the school around Easter time I ended up finding my biological father on facebook (I knew about him from before) but it made me so depressed that the school started to worry a lot.

 

When I finished school and continued my studies in media and communication, I felt it was a new chapter in my life, but little did I knew that one person would make two of those years trying to bring me down with words.

 

Back to first year, the year went by fast. I started having big depressions and question myself a lot, I remember new years eve that year I ended up yelling to my step-dad wishing I could just move away from him and mom to escape my problems. I ended up opening to them for real that day and tell them about the things I remembered over the years with pain (New Years eve will never ever be the same for me). I ended up with big depression again.

 

During beginning of 2011 I ended up going to a therapist to get out my feelings and get back on track to be who I am today. I went there for half a year and I don't regret at all that I went there. My therapist suggested I should meet my biological dad to help me with the issue if I meet him somewhere, because I was scared to meet him. I ended up going to meet him with someone close to me. I talked to him and he was nice, I haven't talked to him since because I realized I didn't need a father/son relationship with him because he has never been there for me through my hardest times.

 

I ended up being more positive and got longer in my life. I have a supportive family and friends that I wouldn't trade for anything. I am living my life to the fullest and enjoying every moment of it. I still battling my depression every now and then.

 

 

And sorry for any typos xtina17

 

 

I just want to say, this is incredibly brave to pour out your heart on a forum you barely know. And as someone who doesn't know you,i truly find you to be a chameleon and over all incontrovertible champion for going strong. xtina17

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I just want to say, this is incredibly brave to pour out your heart on a forum you barely know. And as someone who doesn't know you,i truly find you to be a chameleon and over all incontrovertible champion for going strong. xtina17

Thank you  ny3

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